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MOTHER AT HOME 



OR, 



THE PRINCIPLES OF MATERNAL DUTY 
FAMILIARLY ILLUSTRATED. 

J 

BY JOHN S. C. ABBOTT, 

AUTHOR OF 

"THE CHILD AT HOME," "JOSEPHINE," "MARIA ANTOINETTE," 
"^GS AND QUEENS," "NAPOLEON," ETC. 



VERY GREATLY IMPROVED AND ENLARGED. 



<OTttJ) numerous SEnflrabfnfls. 



NEW YORK: 
HARPER <fc BROTHERS, PUBLISHERS, 

329 & 331 PEARL STREET, 
FRANKLIN SQUARE. 

1852. 



floj 



-1 



Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1852, by 

HARPER & BROTHERS, 
In the Clerk's Office for the Southern District of New York. 



PREFACE. 

The Mother at Home, and its companion and 
counterpart, the Child at Home, were written sim- 
ply with the view of affording to mothers in the 
common walks of life, plain and simple instruction 
in respect to the right discharge of their maternal 
duties, and, at the same time, some practical aid in 
leading the minds of their children to proper views 
of their obligations to God, to their parents, and to 
one another. Although one of the volumes is ad- 
dressed nominally to the mother, and the other to 
the child, they are in fact each intended for both 
mothers and children. If a parent reads and ex- 
plains the Mother at Home to her children, they 
will derive great benefit from the exercise, as they 
will thus be taught to realize something of the nature 
and the weight of the responsibilities, the duties, 
and the cares which such a trust as that which is 



VI PREFACE 



committed to a mother necessarily brings. They 
will thus the more readily acquiesce in the measures 
adopted for their good, and submit to the authority 
which ought to be exercised over them ; and they 
may be expected also to imbibe, in some degree, the 
Christian spirit which the book inculcates. On the 
other hand, the Child at Home is intended quite as 
much to afford to mothers a practical exemplifica- 
tion of the spirit and manner by which their instruc- 
tions to their children should be characterized, as to 
act directly upon the children themselves ; and its 
effect even in this last point of view will be greatly 
enhanced, if the mother, instead of giving her chil- 
dren the book, should read it to them herself, or 
allow them to read it aloud to her, chapter by chap- 
ter, at some calm and silent hour, in the evening or 
upon the Sabbath, when the hearts of the listeners 
may be open to salutary impressions, and when the 
instructions of the printed page may be accompanied 
by the kind and familiar explanations of the living 
teacher. 

The volumes thus, though under different names, 
aim at one and the same end, and are intended as 
the counterparts and companions of each other. 



PREFACE. Vll 



They regard the family as one, — -and in explaining 
and enforcing the relative duties of parents and chil- 
dren, they are intended to exert upon the two 
classes for which they are designed, a common and 
simultaneous influence. 

Since the original publication of these works, 
they have been translated into many different lan- 
guages, and have been circulated very extensively 
throughout the Christian world. The favor with 
which they have thus been regarded has led to the 
republication of them at this time in a new and 
greatly improved form. The works have been care- 
fully revised, and much enlarged, and the various 
scenes and incidents described in them are illustrated 
with numerous engravings, which, it is hoped, will 
aid in making them attractive both to parents and 
children. 



CONTENTS. 



-«-•-*- 



CHAPTER PA OR 

I. — Responsibility, 11 

II. — Maternal Authority, . . . . 40 

III. — Maternal Authority — continued, . 61 

IV. — The Mother's Difficulties, . . . 89 

V. — Faults and Errors, . . . .112 

VI. — Methods and Plans, 144 

VII. — Religious Instruction, . . . .167 
VIII. — Religious Instruction — continued, . .194 

IX. — Fruits of Piety, 234 

X. — Fruits of Piety — continued, . . . 261 
XL— Results, 290 



ENGRAVINGS. 

+^»+ 

PAGE 

The Hatchet, .11 

The Sailor Boy, 27 

The Unrulf Boys, . . . . . 49 

The Builders, 56 

The Accident, 77 

The Book, 81 

The Riot, . • . .98 

The Supper, 109 

Self-conceit, 117 

Lawlessness, .124 

Writing Journals, 150 

The View, . . . . . . .184 

My Little Chair, 187 

Lamartine, .196 

The Visit, .... ... 214 

r The Pleasant Seat, 246 

The Lame Man, . . . . . . .251 

Forgiveness, 272 

The Reaction, . . . . . . . 285 

The Daughter, 292 




THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



CHAPTER I. 



RESPONSIBILITY, 



A few years ago, some gentlemen who were 
associated together in a religious institution, in a 
course of preparation for the christian ministry, 
conceived the design of ascertaining what pro- 



12 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

portion of their number were the children of 
pious mothers. They were greatly surprised 
and greatly pleased at finding that out of one 
hundred and twenty students, over one hun- 
dred had been borne by a mother's prayers, 
and directed by a mother's counsels, to the 
Savior. Though some of these had in early 
life broken away from the restraints of home, 
and like the prodigal, had wandered deviously 
for a time in paths of sin and sorrow, yet they 
could not even in their wanderings forget the 
impressions of childhood, and were eventually 
brought to the Savior, in fulfillment of the prom- 
ises made so frequently in the Scriptures, that 
success shall sooner or later attend the efforts 
of parental fidelity, faith, and prayer. Many 
other striking examples might be adduced, in 
addition to this, to show how intimate is the 
connection between the christian character of 
the mother and the salvation of the child. 

The efforts which a mother makes for the im- 
provement of her children in knowledge and 
virtue, are necessarily retired and unobtrusive. 
The world knows not of them ; and hence the 
world has been slow to perceive how powerful 
and extensive is this secret and silent influence. 
But circumstances are now directing the eyes 
of the community to the young, and the truth 



RESPONSIBILITY. 13 



is daily coming more distinctly into view, that 
the influence which is exerted upon the mind 
during the first eight or ten years of existence, 
in a great degree guides the destinies of that 
mind for time and eternity. And as the moth- 
er is the guardian and guide of the early years 
of life, from her emanates the most powerful in- 
fluence which is exerted in the formation of 
the character of man. And why should it not 
be so ? What impressions can be more strong, 
and more lasting, than those received upon the 
mind in the freshness and the susceptibility of 
youth ? What instructor can gain greater confi- 
dence and respect than a mother ? And where 
can there exist circumstances more favorable 
for guiding human souls into the way of salva- 
tion, than when the little flock cluster around 
a mother's knee to hear of God and heaven ? 

" A good boy generally makes a good man." 
Said the mother of Washington, " George was 
always a good boy." It was this always hav- 
ing been a good boy in childhood, that consti- 
tutes one great secret of the subsequent great- 
ness of Washington. He had a mother who 
made him a good boy, and instilled into his 
heart those principles which raised him to be 
the benefactor of his country, and one of the 
brightest ornaments of the world. The mother 



14 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

of Washington is entitled to a nation's grati- 
tude. She taught her boy the principles of 
obedience, and moral courage, and virtue. She, 
in a great measure, formed the character of the 
hero, and the statesman. It was by her own 
fireside that she taught her boy in the playful 
years of infancy, to govern himself; and it was 
thus that he was prepared for the brilliant ca- 
reer of usefulness which he afterward pursued. 
We are indebted to God for the gift of Wash- 
ington ; but we are no less indebted to him for 
the gift of his inestimable mother. Had she 
been a weak, and indulgent, and unfaithful pa- 
rent, the unchecked energies of her son might 
have elevated him to the throne of a tyrant; or 
youthful disobedience might have prepared the 
way for a life of crime and a dishonored grave. 
Byron had a mother just the reverse of lady 
Washington ; and we see the character of the 
mother in this case also, reflected in that of the 
son. We can not wonder at the character and 
conduct of Byron, for we see them to be the 
almost necessary consequence of the education 
which he received, and the scenes which he 
witnessed in his mother's parlor. She would 
at one time allow him to disobey with impuni- 
ty ; at another she would fly into a rage and 
beat him. She thus taught him to defy all au- 



RESPONSIBILITY. 1 5 

thority, human and divine ; to indulge, without 
restraint, in sin ; to give himself up to the pow- 
er of every maddening passion. It was the 
mother of Byron who laid the foundation of his 
pre-eminence in guilt. She taught him to 
plunge into that sea of profligacy and wretch- j 
edness, upon whose agitated waves he was 
tossed for life. If the crimes of the poet de- 
serve the execration of the world — the world 
can not forget that it was the mother who fos- 
tered in his youthful heart those passions which 
made the son a curse to his fellow- men. 

There are, it is true, innumerable causes in- 
cessantly operating in the formation of charac- 
ter. A mother's influence is by no means the 
only influence which is exerted. Still it may 
be the most powerful ; for, with God's ordinary 
blessing, it may form in the youthful mind the 
habits, and implant the principles, to which 
other influences are to give permanency and 
vigor. 

A pious and faithful mother may have a dis- 
solute child. Her son may break away from 
all restraints, and God may leave him to " eat 
the fruit of his own devices." The parent, 
thus afflicted and broken-hearted, can only bow 
before the sovereignty of her Maker, who says, 
" be still, and know that I am God." The con- 



16 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

sciousness, however, of having done one's duty, 
divests this affliction of much of its bitterness. 
And beside, such cases are rare. Profligate 
children are generally the offspring of parents 
who have neglected the moral and religious ed- 
ucation of their family. Some parents are 
themselves profligate, and thus not only allow 
their children to grow up unrestrained, but by 
their example lure them to sin. But there are 
others who are very upright, and virtuous, and 
even pious themselves, who do, nevertheless, 
neglect the moral culture of their children ; and 
as a consequence, they grow up in disobedience 
and sin. It matters but little what the cause is 
which leads to this neglect. The neglect itself 
will ordinarily be followed by disobedience and 
self-will. 

Hence the reason that children of eminent 
men, both in church and state, are not unfre- 
quently the disgrace of their parents. If the 
mother is unaccustomed to govern her chil- 
dren, if she look wholly to the father to enforce 
obedience from them, and control them ; when 
he is absent, all family government is absent, 
and the children are left to run wild ; to learn 
lessons of disobedience ; to practice arts of de- 
ception ; to build, upon the foundation of con- 
tempt for a mother, a character of insubordina- 



RESPONSIBILITY. 17 

tion and iniquity. But if the children are 
under the efficient government of a judicious 
mother, the reverse of this is almost invariably 
the case. And since, in nearly every instance, 
the early years of life are intrusted to a 
mother's care, it follows that maternal influ- 
ence, more than any thing else, forms the future 
character. 

The history of John Newton is often addu- 
ced as a proof of the deep and lasting impres- 
sion which a mother may produce upon the 
mind of her child. He had a pious mother. 
She often retired with him to her closet, and 
placing her hand upon his youthful head, implor- 
ed God's blessing upon her boy. These prayers 
and instructions sank deep into his heart. He 
could not but revere that mother. He could 
not but feel that there was a holiness in such a 
character, demanding reverence and love. He 
could not tear from his heart, in after-life, the 
impressions then produced. Though he be- 
came a wicked wanderer, though he forsook 
friends and home, and every virtue, — yet the 
remembrance of a mother's prayers, like a 
guardian-angel, followed him wherever he went. 
He mingled in the most dissipated and disgrace- 
ful scenes of a sailor's life, and while surround- 
ed with guilty associates, in midnight revelry, 

B 



18 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

he would fancy he felt the soft hand of his 
mother upon his head, pleading with God to 
forgive and bless her boy. He went to the 
coast of Africa, and became even more degrad- 
ed than the savages upon her dreary shores. 
But the soft hand of his mother was still upon 
his head, and the fervent prayers of his mother 
still thrilled in his heart. And this influence, 
after the lapse of many guilty years, brought 
back the prodigal, a penitent and a child of 
God ; elevated him to be one of the brightest 
ornaments of the Christian church, and enabled 
him to guide many sons and daughters to glory. 
What a forcible comment is this upon the power 
of maternal influence ! And what encourage- 
ment does this present to every mother to be 
faithful in her efforts to train up her child for 
God ! Had Mrs. Newton neglected her duty, 
had she even been as remiss as many Christian 
mothers are, her son, to all human view, might 
have continued in sin, and been an outcast 
from heaven. It was through the influence of 
the mother that the son was saved. Newton 
became afterward a most successful preacher 
of the gospel, and every soul that he was in- 
strumental in saving, in singing the song of re- 
deeming mercy, will, through eternity, bless 
God that Newton had such a mother. 



RESPONSIBILITY. 19 

The influence thus exerted upon the mind, 
in early childhood, may, for many years, be ap- 
parently lost. When a son leaves home, and 
enters upon the busy world, many are the 
temptations which come crowding upon him. 
If when he thus withdraws from his mother's 
personal watch and care, his heart has not been 
fortified with established principles of religion 
and of self-control, he will most assuredly fall 
before these temptations. He may indeed fall, 
even after all that a mother has done, or can 
do ; and he may become deeply involved in 
guilt. But even then, when he has apparently 
forgotten every lesson that he learned at home, 
the secret influence of a mother's instructions, 
and a mother's prayers, may be yet working 
powerfully and effectually in his heart. He 
will think of a mother's tears, when remorse 
keeps him awake at midnight, or when danger 
threatens him with speedy arraignment at the 
bar of God. The thoughts of the sacredness 
of home will often throw bitterness into his 
cup of guilty pleasure, and compel him to sigh 
for the virtue and the peace which he has for- 
saken. Even though far away, in abodes of 
infamy, degraded and abandoned, he must oc- 
casionally think of a broken-hearted mother. 
Thus may he, after many years, perhaps long 



20 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

after she has gone down to the grave, be led, 
by the remembrance of her virtues, to forsake 
his sins. 

A short time since, a gentleman, in one of' 
our most populous cities, was going to attend a 
seaman's meeting in the mariner's chapel. Di- 
rectly opposite to the chapel there was a sailor's 
boarding-house. In the doorway of this house 
there was a hardy, weather-beaten sailor, sitting 
with arms folded, and smoking a cigar, — watch- 
ing the people as they gradually assembled for 
the meeting. 

The gentleman walked up to him and said, 
" Well, my friend, won't you go with us to 
meeting ?" 

" No !" said the sailor, bluntly. 

The gentleman, who, from the appearance 
of the man, had been prepared for a repulse, 
mildly replied, " You look, my friend, as though 
you had seen hard days ; have you a mother ?" 
The sailor raised his head, looked earnestly in 
the gentleman's face, and made no reply. 

The gentleman continued : " Suppose your 
mother were here now, what advice do you 
think that she would give you ?" The tears 
rushed into the eyes of the poor sailor ; he en- 
deavored for a moment to conceal them, but 
could not; and hastily brushing them away 



RESPONSIBILITY. 21 

with the back of his rough hand, rose and said 
with a voice almost inarticulate through emo- 
tion, " Fll go to the meeting." He crossed the 
street, entered the door of the chapel, and took 
his seat with the assembled congregation. 

What afterward became of the man is not 
known. It is however almost certain that he 
must have had a mother who had given him 
good instruction ; and when the gentleman ap- 
pealed to her, hardened as the sailor was, his 
heart melted. It is by no means improbable 
that this interview may have checked this man 
in his sins, and led him to Christ. At any 
event, it shows the strength of maternal influ- 
ence. It shows that years of wandering and 
of sin can not erase from the heart the impres- 
sion which a mother's instructions and a 
mother's prayers have left there. 

It is a great trial to have children undutiful 
when young ; but it is a tenfold greater afflic- 
tion to have a child grow up to maturity in dis- 
obedience, and become a dissolute and aban- 
doned man. How many parents have passed 
days of sorrow and nights of sleeplessness in 
consequence of the misconduct of their off- 
spring! How many have had their hearts 
broken, and their gray hairs brought down with 
sorrow to the grave, solely in consequence of 



22 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

their own neglect to train up their children in 
the nurture and admonition of the Lord ! Your 
future happiness is in the hands of your chil- 
dren. They may be the means of filling all the 
future years of your life with joy, and on the 
other hand they may throw gloom over all your 
prospects, embitter every enjoyment, and make 
you so miserable, that your only prospect of re- 
lief will be in death. 

That little girl whom you now fondle upon 
your knee, and who plays, so full of enjoyment, 
upon your floor, has entered a world where 
temptations are thick around. What is to en- 
able her to resist these temptations, but estab- 
lished principles of piety ? And where is she 
to obtain these principles, but from a mother's 
instructions and example ? If, through your 
neglect now, she should hereafter yield herself 
to temptation and sin, what must become of 
your peace of mind ? O mother ! little are you 
aware of the wretchedness with which your 
Moved daughter may hereafter overwhelm you ! 

Many illustrations of the most affecting na- 
ture might be here introduced. It would be 
easy to appeal to a vast number of living suf- 
ferers, in attestation of the woe which the sin of 
a child can occasion. You may go, not only in 
imagination, but in reality, to the darkened 



RESPONSIBILITY. 23 



chamber where the mother sits weeping, and 
refusing to be comforted, for a daughter lost to 
virtue and to heaven. Still, though we may 
witness the scene, no one but those who have 
experienced it can conceive how overwhelm- 
ing is the mental agony which must prey upon 
a mother thus dishonored and broken-hearted. 
This is a sorrow which can only be understood 
by one who has tasted its bitterness and felt its 
weight. We may go to the house of piety and 
prayer, and find the father and mother with 
countenances emaciated with suffering ; not a 
smile plays upon their features, and the mourn- 
ful accents of their voice tell how deeply seated 
is their sorrow. Shall we inquire into the cause 
of this heart-rending grief? The mother would 
only reply with tears and sobs. The father 
would summon all his fortitude, and say, " my 
daughter" — and say no more. The anguish 
of his spirit would prevent the farther utter- 
ance of his grief. 

Is this exaggeration ? No ! Let your lovely 
daughter, now your pride and joy, be abandoned 
to infamy, be an outcast from society, and you 
must feel what language can not express. 

This is a dreadful subject ; but the danger is 
one which the mother ought to feel and under- 
stand. None are exempt from it. There are 



24 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

facts which might here be introduced, sufficient 
to make every parent tremble. We might lead 
you to the dwelling of the clergyman, and tell 
you that a daughter's sin has carried the mother 
to the grave, and sent paleness to the cheek, 
and trembling to the frame, and agony to the 
heart of the aged father. We might carry you 
to the parlor of the rich man, and show you all 
the elegance and the opulence with which he is 
surrounded ; and yet he would tell you that he 
was one of the most unhappy of the sons of 
affliction, and that he would gladly give all his 
treasures if he could purchase back a daugh- 
ter's virtue ; that he could gladly lie down to 
die, if he could by so doing, even blot out the 
remembrance of a daughter's infamy. 

No matter what your situation in life may 
be, that little child, now so innocent, whose 
playful endearments and happy laugh awaken 
such thrilling emotions in your heart, may cause 
you years of most unalleviated misery. 

And mother ! look at that drunken vagrant, 
staggering by your door. Listen to his horrid 
imprecations, as bloated and ragged he passes 
along. That wretch has a mother. Perhaps, 
widowed and in poverty, she needs the comfort 
and support of an affectionate son. You have 
a son. You may soon be a widow. In that 



RESPONSIBILITY. 25 

case if your son is dissolute, you are doubly 
widowed ; you are worse, infinitely worse than 
childless. You can not now endure even the 
thought that your son will ever be thus aban- 
doned. How dreadful then must be the experi- 
ence of the reality ! 

I once knew a mother who had an only son. 
She loved him most ardently, and could not 
bear to deny him any indulgence. He, of 
course, soon learned to rule his mother. At 
the death of his father, the poor woman was 
left at the mercy of this vile boy. She had 
neglected her duty when he was young, and 
now his ungovernable passions had become too 
strong for her control. Self-willed, turbulent, 
and revengeful, he was his mother's bitterest 
curse. His paroxysms of rage at times amount- 
ed almost to madness. One day, infuriated 
against his mother, he set fire to her house, and 
it was burned to the ground, with all its con- 
tents, and she was left in the extreme of pover- 
ty. He was imprisoned as an incendiary, and, 
in his cell, he became a maniac, if he was not 
such before, and madly dug out his own eyes. 
He now lies in perpetual darkness, confined by 
the stone walls and grated bars of his dungeon, 
an infuriated madman. 

How hard it must be for a mother, after all 



26 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

her anxiety, and suffering, — her days of toil, and 
her nights of watching and care, to find her son 
a demoniac enemy, instead of a guardian and 
friend ! You have watched over your child, 
through all the months of its helpless infancy. 
You have denied yourself, that you might give 
it comfort. When it has been sick, you have 
been unmindful of your own weariness, and 
your own weakness, and the livelong night you 
have watched at its cradle, administering to all 
its wants. When it has smiled, you have felt 
a joy which none but a parent can feel, and 
have pressed your much loved treasure to your 
bosom, praying that its future years of obedi- 
ence and affection might be your ample reward. 
And now, how dreadful a requital, for that 
child to grow up to hate and abuse you ; to 
leave you friendless, in sickness and in pover- 
ty ; to squander all his earnings in haunts of 
iniquity and degradation. 

There is, in many families, an impression that 
the boys must soon grow beyond a mother's 
control or influence, and that, while it is ex- 
pected that the girls should still be obedient to 
their mother, the sons must, at a certain age, be 
left to the control of the father. Thus insensi- 
bly they imbibe the feeling that they are above 
their mother's authority. The mother feels 



RESPONSIBILITY. 



27 



that she has no power to govern them ; the 
father is away, and the whole mind is engrossed 
with other cares, and the boys are left uncon- 
trolled. This is the influential cause of the ruin 
of thousands of families. 

Probably there 
is not one who will 
read this page, who 
can not recall to 
mind many illus- 
trations of the truth 
of this statement. 
Here is a lost son 
dying in the fore- 
castle of a ship, far 
away upon the 
ocean.- Why is he 
there, far from his 
own pleasant fire- 
side and the love of home ? Because his moth- 
er never established any control over her boy. 
In his infancy she indulged him, under the in- 
fluence of an overweening maternal fondness 
The injury might possibly have been retrieved 
in the early years of boyhood, but the golden 
opportunity was allowed to slip by. The boy, 
as he grew r in strength and energy, became reck- 
less and uncontrollable, and after a long and 




THE SAILOR-BOY. 



28 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

sorrowful experience of struggle, disappoint- 
ment, and suffering, he was sent to sea, to perish 
miserably in some noxious foreign clime. 

Here is a mutilated corpse upon some blood- 
stained field of battle. The form is that of a 
graceful youth, whose fair cheek is hardly 
browned by the southern sun. Why has this 
young man been plunged into these awful scenes 
of human butchery, and come to this untimely 
and disgraceful death ? It is because his mother 
did not control him when he was a child. 

The idea is a totally erroneous one, that a 
son, by nature, feels that there is an inferiority 
in a woman, and that it is not manly to obey 
his mother. The natural feeling is just the re- 
verse, and a judicious mother can retain con- 
trol over a son as long as he lives. The bond 
will be changed it is true, when he becomes a 
man, from that of authority to that of affection, 
but it will endure to the end of life, and grow 
stronger and stronger every year. 

Indeed, a well-educated young man feels a 
peculiar pride in being obedient to his mother. 
There is a chivalrous feeling, a sense of honor 
connected with such submission which is highly 
pleasurable to every ingenuous mind. 

No one can read the biography of Payson 
without seeing the control which a mother's 



RESPONSIBILITY. 29 



mind exerted over him, through all his collegi- 
ate and theological course, and when all the 
cares of his arduous profession were crowding 
him. The same maternal supremacy which 
protected his infancy, guided and curbed the 
impetuosity of his childhood, the ardor of his 
youth, and the energies of his manhood. For 
the mother may be, in many things, always the 
superior of her son, and be capable of being his 
counselor and benefactor. 

The memoirs of Wesley, who has, perhaps, 
exerted as powerful an influence as any other 
man upon the destinies of the world, are filled 
with illustrations of this continued influence of 
a mother's mind guiding her apostolical son in 
all the conflicts of his laborious and glorious 
career. 

Read the letters of the mother of John Quin- 
cy Adams, and you will be at no loss to account 
for the invincible moral courage, the unvarying 
principle, and the almost superhuman energy 
which has shed such luster upon his life. Be- 
fore her noble mind he was ever proud to bow 
in homage. He was always, even in the most 
exalted manhood, his mother's child, ever prompt 
to do her bidding, and ever feeling himself hon- 
ored in honoring her. 

Even the Emperor Napoleon attributed the 



30 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

formation of his character, in a great measure, 
to his mother's influence. And in speaking on 
the subject generally, he remarked, that " the 
man is what the mother makes him. France 
wants mothers." 

In fact, every young man wants to be proud 
of his mother. He loves to feel under her con- 
trol. He delights in having a mother w 7 ho is 
capable and worthy of guiding him. And she 
who virtually abandons the government of her 
boy just as he is entering upon the fiery temp- 
tations of impetuous youth, inflicts upon him an 
irreparable injury, and is an almost unpardon- 
able betrayer of her sacred trust. 

From these and similar facts it is plain that 
God has placed in the hands of parents an in- 
fluence which is almost boundless. We are 
very prone to underrate this power. You ob- 
serve that your child has some fault which you 
endeavor to remove. Persuasion, entreaty, 
punishment — all perhaps fail, or secure only 
partial success ; and you say, " How little in- 
fluence have I, after all, over my child." But 
you forget that there is an influence of conduct 
and example as well as of precept, and that very 
probably, by your own previous neglect or sin, 
you may yourself have riveted the chain which 
you now strive in vain to break by a word. 



RESPONSIBILITY. 31 

Besides the individual instances that have been 
adduced, we can see the influence ot parents by- 
observing how national characteristics are pre- 
served from generation to generation. The pop- 
ulation of Turkey, of China, of New England, 
and of every savage island, will in one hundred 
years be slumbering in the ground, and their 
places will be filled by others, who will all be sub- 
stantially alike when they enter the world. The 
millions of infants who are to compose the next 
Turkish generation will not, as infants, differ 
from those who are to be our descendants in 
this happy land, — or from the future throng 
which will fill the Chinese empire, — or from the 
babes which open their eyes in the wildest hut 
or wigwam. And yet how certainly will every 
one of these classes, as they come forward into 
life, receive the traits of mind and the charac- 
teristics of their parents. How certainly will 
the next generation in Turkey be substantially 
like the last, and China in the twentieth century- 
be like China now, unless some extraneous 
cause comes in to produce a change. The 
power of parental influence is almost unbounded. 

But besides the influence which mothers can 
thus exert in securing the future welfare and 
happiness of their children, their own enjoy- 
ment, in their declining years, is almost wholly 



82 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

dependent upon the results of their dealings with 
those thus dependent upon them. The influence 
which you now exert upon your children will 
react, after many years, with prodigious power 
upon yourselves. It is natural that in early life 
parents should have no conception of the ex- 
tent to which their own peace and happiness 
are ultimately to be placed in their children's 
hands. See that infant : weakness and help- 
lessness itself, it has scarcely strength to sustain 
its own tottering footsteps, or courage to look 
without agitation into a stranger's face ; depen- 
dent for every want, and completely submissive 
to every command, it can scarcely be said to 
have a separate existence. It knows nothing — 
it does nothing, but through parental permis- 
sion ; and if there is throughout the world an 
instance of complete, unlimited, absolute power 
on the one hand, and most entire and helpless 
submission on the other, it is to be found in the 
empire which such a parent holds over such a 
1 child. 

We see very clearly in such a case how en- 
tirely the happiness of the child is dependent 
upon the mother, but it is hard to realize how 
soon the state of the case will be reversed, and 
the mother become equally dependent for all 
her happiness upon the child. 



RESPONSIBILITY. 33 

Difficult as it is, however, to realize this, it is 
nevertheless true. 

The child advances with an irresistible pro- 
gress up through the years of childhood and 
youth ; and as it passes on from year to year, 
the bonds of this dependence and helplessness 
melt gradually away. You can not stop the 
progress of years ; you can not check the ad- 
vance to maturity ; the mind of your child will 
expand beyond your grasp ; the powers of the 
being, once so helpless, will rise slowly, but ir- 
resistibly above your own control ; and he will, 
ere you are aware, stand forth mature, inde- 
pendent, and free, — to carry forward with an 
impetus which you might once have guided, but 
which now you can not stop, his course of hap- 
piness or suffering ; to bring down upon your 
own head the blessings or the curses which you 
have taught him to procure. 

It must be remembered, too, that the bonds 
by which you are bound to your children, — 
and through which any fidelity or unfaithfulness 
which you may now exhibit will return with 
tenfold power upon your own head in future 
years, — you can never sunder. You can not, 
should you ever desire to do it, banish affection 
from your heart. You can not say, when here- 
after he comes to a course of sin and suffering, 

c 



34 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

I will leave him to his own chosen way, and be 
myself indifferent about his joys and sorrows. 
No ; the cord which binds you to him is too 
strong. God has fastened it ; and the more his 
wayward propensities may pull upon the knot, 
the tighter it will be drawn. Even his death 
will not sunder it. You will linger over his 
grave, and busy memory will bring back to you 
the long passed scenes through which you may 
have accompanied him. The neglected duty 
will come up again to view; the indulgence 
which ought to have been denied will reproach ; 
the recollections of unfaithfulness will sting ; 
and, on the other hand, the severity of affliction 
will be assuaged by the remembrance of all 
your sincere and earnest efforts to do your 
duty, and to prepare your departed child for 
heaven. 

You will be excited to fidelity in duty " by 
looking forward frequently to your approaching 
separation from your children. " The ties 
1 which bind you, however closely, to them, must 
soon be sundered by death. You must, before 
many years, see them deposited in the grave, or 
you must bid them farewell, while they stand 
weeping around your own dying bed. They 
may be summoned first ; and you will find, as 
every bereaved parent well knows, that mourn- 



RESPONSIBILITY. 35 



ing for their loss is the bitterest cup of sorrow 
which you can drink. You may have wept for 
other friends before ; you may have followed 
your own beloved parents to the grave ; but, in 
the emphatic language of an afflicted father, 
•you will find "parental anguish more deep and, 
keen than filial." At such an hour you will 
need consolation ; and nothing will have greater 
power to assuage your sorrow, than the recol- 
lections of your past fidelity, in training up your 
child for heaven. 

If these efforts have been made, and have 
been attended by the ordinary blessing of God, 
your child may give evidence at a very early 
age of his affection for his Savior, and of his 
preparation for another world. 

But although you may survive your children, 
they will probably survive you. You will have 
to leave them in a world of temptation and 
danger, with no sufficient protector, unless you 
can have secured for them the protection of a 
jfriend above. When your last hours are pass- 
ing, and the world begins to recede from view, 
its various ties will, one after another, be sur- 
rendered, and broken : but, after all others are 
gone, the bond which connects you with your 
child will still cling. That link will be the last 
to be severed ; so that when you are willing 



36 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

and desirous to leave everything else that is 
earthly, your heart will still linger about your 
fireside, and affection for a beloved child will 
make you cling to life. How happy will it be 
for you at such a time, to feel that God will be 
a parent to the orphans, — and that you separ- 
ate from them only for a time. If your faith- 
ful instructions have instilled the principles of 
piety into their hearts, you can have this happi- 
ness; and you can with peaceful resignation 
commit them to God's care, assured that he 
will be their supporter in the temptations of 
life, and their refuge in its storms. 

Let these thoughts dwell with you to encour- 
age and to strengthen you in your present 
duties. While you are making strenuous and 
faithful efforts to improve the character and 
strengthen the moral and religious principles 
of your child, be encouraged by the assurance, 
that long after these struggles shall be over, 
you will think of them and dwell upon them 
with pleasure. On the other hand, remember, 
that if you set it an example of sin, or act in 
your management under the influence of in- 
dolence or irritation, consulting present con- 
venience, without attempting to follow any 
fixed principles, — Oh, remember, that though 
an act of unfaithfulness may be over in an 



RESPONSIBILITY. 37 



hour, its memory will last, and it will bite like 
a serpent, and sting like an adder. 

How entirely thus is your earthly happiness 
at the disposal of your child ! His character 
is now, in an important sense, in your hands, 
and you are to form it for good or for evil. If 
you are consistent in your government, and 
faithful in the discharge of your duties, your 
child will probably through life revere you, and 
be the stay and solace of your declining years. 
If, on the other hand, you can not summon 
resolution to punish your child when disobe- 
dient ; if you do not curb his passions ; if you 
do not bring him to entire and willing subjec- 
tion to your authority ; you must expect that 
he will be your curse. In all probability, he 
will despise you for your weakness. Unaccus- 
tomed to restraints at home, he will break away 
from all restraints, and make you wretched by 
his life, and disgraceful in his death. 

But few parents think of this as they ought. 
They are not conscious of the momentous con- 
sequences which depend upon the efficient and 
decisive government of their children. Thou- 
sands of parents now stand in our land like 
oaks blighted and scathed by lightnings and 
storms. Thousands have had every hope 
wrecked, every prospect darkened, and have 



38 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

become the victims of the most agonizing and 
heart-rending disappointment, solely in conse- 
quence of the misconduct of their children. 
And yet thousands of others are going on in ' 
the same way, preparing to experience the 
same suffering, and are apparently unconscious 
of their danger. 

Snch are the responsibilities of mothers. 
How few parents there are that fully realize 
the weight and importance which they assume, 
when we calmly consider them. 

It is true that there are many mothers who 
feel their responsibilities perhaps as deeply as 
it is best they should feel them. But there are 
many others— -even Christian mothers — who 
seem to forget that their children will ever be 
less under their control than they are while 
young. And they are training them up, by in- 
decision and indulgence, soon to tyrannize over 
their parents with a rod of iron— and to pierce 
their hearts with many sorrows. If you are 
unfaithful to your child when he is young, he 
will be unfaithful to you when he is old. If 
you indulge him in all his foolish and unreason- 
able wishes when he is a child, when he be- 
comes a man he will indulge himself; he will 
gratify every desire of his heart ; and your 
sufferings will be rendered the more poignant 



RESPONSIBILITY. 39 



by the reflection that it was your own unfaith- 
fulness which has caused your ruin. If then 
you would be the happy mother of a happy 
child, give your attention, and your efforts, and 
your prayers, to the great duty of training him 
up for God and heaven. 



CHAPTER II. 

MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 

In the preceding chapter I have endeavored 
to show the mother how much her happiness is 
dependent upon the good or bad character of 
her children. Your own reflections and ob- 
servations have, doubtless, impressed this sub- 
ject most deeply upon your heart. The ques- 
tion has probably often presented itself to your 
mind, while reading the previous chapter, 
"How shall I govern my children, so as to 
secure their virtue and happiness ?" This 
question I shall now endeavor to answer. 

I. Obedience is absolutely essential to proper 
family government. Without this, all other ef- 
forts will be in vain. You may pray with, and 
for your children ; you may'strive to instruct 
them in religious truth ; you may be unwearied 
in your efforts to make them happy, and to gain 
their affection ; but if they grow up in habits 
of disobedience, your instructions will be lost, 
ftnd your toil will all be in vain. And by 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 41 

obedience, I do not mean languid and dilatory 
yielding to repeated threats, but prompt and 
cheerful acquiescence in the parental will. 
Neither is it enough that a child should yield to 
your arguments and persuasions. It is essen- 
tial that he should submit to your authority. * 

I will suppose a case in illustration of this 
last remark. Your little daughter is sick ; you 
go to her with the medicine which has been 
prescribed for her, and the following dialogue 
ensues. 

" Here, my daughter, is some medicine for 

you." 

" I don't want to take it,- mamma." 
" Yes, my child, do take it, for it will make 
you better." 
' " No, it will not, mother ; I don't want it." 

" Yes, it will, my child ; the doctor says it 
will." 

" Well, it isn't good, and I don't want it." 
The mother continues her persuasions, and 
the child persists in its refusal. After a long 
and wearisome conflict, the mother is compelled 
either to throw the medicine away, or to re- 
sort to compulsion, and force down the unpala- 
table drug. Thus, instead of appealing at once 
to her own supreme authority, she enters into 
a long and useless controversy with the reason 



42 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

of the child, under circumstances in which the 
child of course refuses to be convinced. 

A mother, once, under similar circumstances, 
not being able to persuade her child to take thre 
medicine, and not having sufficient resolution 
to compel it to do so, threw the medicine away. 
When the physician next called, she was 
ashamed to acknowledge her want of power 
over her child, and therefore did not tell him 
that the medicine had not been taken. The 
physician finding the patient worse, left another 
prescription, supposing that the previous one 
had been properly administered. But the child 
could no more be convinced of the necessity 
of taking the nauseous dose, in the second in- 
stance than in the first, and all the efforts of the 
mother were unavailing. Again the fond and 
foolish, but cruel parent, threw the medicine 
away, and the fever was left to rage unchecked 
in the patient's veins. Again the physician 
called, and was surprised to find how ineffica- 
cious his prescriptions were ; and to perceive 
that the poor little sufferer was at the verge of 
death. The mother, when informed that her 
child must die, was in an agony, and confessed 
what she had done. But it was too late. The 
child died. And think you that mother gazed 
upon its pale corpse with any common emotions 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 43 

of anguish ? Think you that the idea never 
entered her mind that she was the destroyer of 
her child ? Physicians will tell you that many 
children have been thus lost. Unaccustomed 
to obedience when well, they were still more 
averse to it when sick. Then there is another 
danger besides. The efforts which are made 
to induce a stubborn child to take medicine, 
often produce such an excitement as entirely to 
counteract the effect of the prescription ; and 
thus is a mother often called to weep over the 
grave of her child, simply because she has not 
taught that child to obey. 

It is certainly the duty of parents sometimes 
to explain to their children the reasonableness 
and propriety of their requirements. This should 
be done to instruct them, and to make them ac- 
quainted with moral obligation. But there 
should always be authority sufficient to enforce 
prompt obedience, whether the child can see 
the reason of the requirement or not. Indeed, 
it is impossible to govern a child by mere ar- 
gument. Many cases must occur, in which it 
will be incapable of seeing the reasonableness 
of the command ; and often its wishes will be 
so strongly opposed to duty, that all the efforts 
to convince its understanding will be in vain. 
The first thing therefore to be aimed at in the 



44 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

training of your child, is to bring him under 
perfect subjection to your will. Teach him 
that he must obey you. Sometimes give him 
vour reasons; at other times withhold them. 
But let him perfectly understand that whether 
reasons are given or not, he is to do whatever 
you require. Accustom him to immediate and 
cheerful acquiescence in your will. This is 
obedience. And this is absolutely essential to 
good family government. Without this, your 
family will present one continued scene of noise 
and confusion ; the toil of rearing up your 
children will be almost insupportable, and, in 
all probability, your heart will be broken by 
their future ingratitude, and perhaps open sin. 

To illustrate more fully my meaning in the 
remark, that it is not always best to give rea- 
sons to children, let me suppose a case. A boy 
comes to his mother for permission to go out 
into the street to play during the evening. 

" No, my child," says the mother, " I would 
rather that you should not go. They are bad 
boys, and you will learn bad habits. I think 
you had better stay in." 

" But, mother, I do not think they are bad 
boys. William and John are there, and I don't 
see why I can not go." 

" They use bad language, and are rude. Be- 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 45 

sides, it is cold, and I don't think it would be 
pleasant for you to-night. I think you will be 
much happier if you stay in with us." 

" Why, mother, if they use bad language I 
will come away. They are going to have a 
fine game, and I want to go very much." 

Thus there is a protracted discussion which 
probably ends in the victory of the boy. The 
mother does not perceive that all her arguments 
are entirely nullified by the boy's strong desire 
for the indulgence. That completely intox- 
icates him. It is perfectly idle, at such a time, 
to attempt to convince him. He is blinded 
completely ; and the only proper course is to 
say mildly, but firmly, " No, my child, you 
must not go." " Why not, mother ? I want 
to go." " I can not tell you why not, now. I 
will talk with you about it another time." Then 
let the mother wait until her son has spent some 
evening happily at home, and just before he re- 
tires to rest, while his conscience is at peace, — 
and his mind pre-disposed in favor of domestic 
duty and happiness, — let her point out to him 
the reason wh}^ she keeps him from the streets 
and from the rude and noisy scenes of tempta- 
tion and sin, that are presented there. 

Let all similar requests for sinful or danger- 
ous indulgences always be decided by authority, 



48 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

and not by persuasion, unless, as was suggested 
above, you may sometimes wish to leave your 
child to decide for himself, that he may learn 
wisdom from experience. This, however, 
ought to be done very seldom, and with great 
caution ; or else you will find that while you 
were endeavoring to disgust him with the evils 
of sin, you will have been hardening his con- 
science against its guilt. 

II. We come now to the inquiry, how is the 
habit of obedience to be established ? This is 
not so difficult a matter as many imagine. It 
does not require profound learning, or any mys- 
terious skill pertaining but to the few. Where 
do you find the best regulated families ? Are 
they in the houses of the rich ? Do the chil- 
dren of our most eminent men furnish the best 
patterns for imitation ? Obviously not. In 
some of the most humble dwellings we find the 
beautiful spectacle of an orderly and well-reg- 
ulated family. On the other hand, in the man- 
sions of the wealthiest or most eminent men of 
our country, we may often find a family of rude 
girls and ungovernable boys, — a picture of wild 
misrule. It is not greatness of talent, or pro- 
found learning, which is requisite to- teach a 
child obedience. The principles by which we 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 47 

are to be guided are very simple and very 
plain. 

Never give a command which you do not 
intend shall be obeyed. 

There is no more effectual way of teaching a 
child disobedience, than by giving commands 
which you have no intention of enforcing. A 
child is thus habituated to disregard its moth- 
er ; and in a short time the habit becomes so 
strong, and the child's contempt for the mother 
so confirmed, that entreaties and threats are 
alike unheeded. 

"Mary! Mary! you must not touch the 
book/' says a mother to her little daughter, who 
is attempting to pull the Bible from the table. 

Mary stops for a moment, and then takes 
hold of the book again. 

Pretty soon the mother looks up and sees 
that Mary is still playing with the Bible. " Did 
not you hear me tell you that you must not 
touch the book ?" she exclaims : " why don't 
you obey ?" 

Mary takes away her hand for a moment, but 
is soon again at her forbidden amusement. By 
and by, down falls the Bible upon the floor. 
The mother rises in anger, and hastily gives the 
child a passionate blow, exclaiming, " There ! 
The next time obey me." The child falls upon 



48 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

the floor and fills the apartment with cries of 
resentment and anger, while the mother re- 
places the fallen volume, wondering why it 
is that her children do not obey her com- 
mands. 

This is not a very agreeable family scene, 
but every one of my readers will admit that h 
is not an uncommon one. And is it strange 
that a child, thus managed, should be disobe- 
dient ? No. She is actually led on by her 
mother to insubordination ; she is actually 
taught to pay no heed to parental injunctions. 
Even the improper punishment which some- 
times follows transgression, is not inflicted on 
account of the disobedience of the child, but for 
the accidental consequences which result from 
it. In the case above described, had the Bible 
uot fallen, the disobedience of the child would 
have passed unpunished. 

I was once, when riding in the country, over- 
taken by a shower, and compelled to seek shel- 
ter in a farmhouse. Half a dozen rude and 
ungovernable boys were racing about the room, 
in such an uproar as to prevent the possibility 
of conversation with the father, who was sitting 
by the fire. As I, however, endeavored to make 
some remark, the father shouted out, " Stop that 
noise, boys." 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 



49 




THE UNRULY BOYS. 



They paid no more heed to him than they 
did to the rain. Soon again, in an irritated 
voice, he exclaimed, 

" Boys, be still, or I will whip you : as sure 
as you are alive I will." But the boys, as 
though accustomed to such threats, screamed 
and quarreled on without intermission. 

At last the father said to me, " I believe 1 
have got the worst boys in town ; I never can 
make them mind me." 

The fact was, these boys had the worst father 

D 



50 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

in town. He was teaching them disobedience 
as directly and efficiently as he could. He 
was giving commands which he had no inten- 
tion of enforcing, and they knew it. This, to 
be sure, is an extreme case. But just so far as 
any mother allows her authority to be disre- 
garded, so far does she expose herself to the 
contempt of her children, and actually teaches 
them lessons of disobedience. 

And is there any difficulty in enforcing obe- 
dience to any definite command ? Take the 
case of the child playing with the Bible. A 
mild and judicious mother says distinctly and 
decidedly to her child, " My daughter, that is 
not a book for you, and you must not touch it." 
The child hesitates for a moment, but yielding 
to the strong temptation, is soon playing with 
the forbidden book. The mother immediately 
rises, takes the child, and carries her into her 
chamber. She sits down and says calmly, 
" Mary, I said that you must not touch the 
Bible, and you have disobeyed me. I am very 
sorry, for now I must punish you." 

Mary begins to cry, and to promise not to do 
so again. 

" But, Mary," says the mother, " you have 
disobeyed me, and you must be punished." 

Mary continues to cry, but the. mother seri- 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 51 

ously and calmly punishes her. She inflicts 
real pain — pain that will be remembered. 

She then says, " Mary, it makes me unhappy 
to punish you. I love my little daughter, and 
wish to have her a good girl/^ 

She then pet-haps leaves her to herself for a 
few minutes. A little solitude will deepen the 
impression made. 

In five or ten minutes she returns, takes Mary 
in her arms and says, " Mary, are you sorry that 
you disobeyed me?" 

Almost any child would answer " Yes." 

" Will you be careful and not disobey me 
again ?" 

" Yes, mother." 

"Well, Mary," says her mother, "/will for- 
give you, so far as I can ; but God is displeased ; 
you have disobeyed him as well as me. Do 
you wish me to ask God to forgive you ?" 

" Yes, mother," answers the child. 

The mother then kneels with her daughter 
and offers a simple prayer for forgiveness, and 
for the return of peace and happiness. She 
then leads her out, humbled and subdued. At 
night, just before she goes to sleep, she mildly 
and affectionately reminds her of her disobe- 
dience, and advises her to ask God's forgive- 
ness again. Mary, in child-like simplicity, ac- 



52 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

knowledges to God what she has done, and asks 
him to forgive her, and take care of her, during 
the night. 

When this child awakes in the morning, will 
not her young affections be more strongly fixed 
upon her mother in consequence of the disci- 
pline of the preceding day? As she is playing 
about the room, will she be likely to forget the 
lesson that she has been taught, and again reach 
out her hand to a forbidden object ? Such an 
act of discipline tends to establish a general 
principle in the mind of the child, which will 
be of permanent operation, extending its influ- 
ence to every command, and promoting the 
general authority of the mother and the subjec- 
tion of the child. 

I know that some mothers say that they have 
not time to pay so much attention to their chil- 
dren. But the fact is, that not one third of the 
time is required to take care of an orderly fam- 
ily, which is necessary to take care of a disor- 
derly one. To be faithful in the government 
of your family, is the only way to save time. 
Can you afford to be distracted and harassed 
by continued disobedience ? Can you spare 
the time to have your attention called away, 
every moment, from the business in which you 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 53 

aie engaged, by the mischievousness of your 
willful children? 

Look at the parent surrounded by a famity 
of children who are in the habit of doing as they 
please. She is very busily employed, I will 
suppose, upon some article of dress, which it 
is important should be immediately finished. 
Every moment she is compelled to raise her 
eyes from her work, to see what the children 
are doing. Samuel is climbing upon the table. 
Jane is drawing out the andirons. John is gal- 
loping about the room upon the tongs. The 
mother, almost deafened with noise, wonders 
what makes her children so much more trouble- 
some than those of other people. 

" Jane, let those andirons alone," she ex- 
claims. Jane runs away for a moment, chases 
Charles around the room, and returns to her 
mischief. 

"Charles, put back those tongs." Charles 
pays no heed to the direction. 

The mother, soon seeing how he is wearing 
the carpet and bruising the furniture, gets up, 
gives Charles a shake, and places the tongs in 
their proper situation ; but by the time she is 
fairly seated, and at her work again, Charles is 
astride the shovel, and traveling at the top of 
his speed. 



54 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

I need not continue this picture. But every 
one knows that it is not exaggerated. Such 
scenes often occur. Thousands of immortal 
spirits are trained up in this turbulence, and an- 
archy, and noise, for time and for eterhity. 
Now this mother will say to you that she has 
not time to bring her children into subjection. 
Whereas, had she been faithful with each indi- 
vidual child, and thus early trained them all to 
the habit of obedience, she would have saved 
herself an immense amount of time and toil ; — 
time and toil now vainly expended in attempts 
to re-establish her authority. 

The truth is that though maintaining a proper 
discipline in a family requires time, and in some 
cases perhaps may require time which cannot 
be very conveniently spared, yet on the whole, 
it is the best possible course for the mother to 
purue to save time. A mother whose family is 
in the condition above described can have no 
time really at her command. 

We will suppose the case of another mother, 
who has the same work to perform. She has 
taught her children prompt and implicit obedi- 
ence. She gives three of them perhaps some 
blocks, in one corner of the room, and tells 
them that they may play " build houses" but, 
that they must not make much noise, and must 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 55 

not interrupt her, for she wishes to be busy. 
The other three she places in another corner 
of the room, with their slates, saying to them 
that they may play " make pictures" The 
children, accustomed to such orderly arrange- 
ments, employ themselves very quietly and hap- 
pily for perhaps three. quarters of an hour. The 
mother goes on uninterrupted in her work. 
Occasionally she raises her eyes and says an 
encouraging word to her children, now noticing 
the little architects in the corner, and now 
glancing her eye at the drawings upon the slates ; 
thus showing the children that she sympathizes 
with them, and takes an interest in their en- 
joyments. The children are pleased and happy. 
The mother is undisturbed. 

She does not allow them to continue their 
amusements till they are weary of them. But 
after they have played perhaps three quarters of 
an hour, she says, 

" Come, children, you have played long 
enough ; you may take up your little blocks 
and put them away in the drawer/' 

" O, mother," says Maria, " let me play a 
little while longer, for I have got my house al- 
most done." 

"Very well, you may finish it," says the 
mother, "but tell me as soon as it is done." 



56 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 




THE BUILDERS. 



In a few min- 
utes Maria says, 
" There, mamma, 
see what a large 
house I have built/' 
The mother looks 
at the edifice, and 
adds a pleasant 
word of encourage- 
ment, and then di- 
rects the builders 
to put all their 
blocks away in 
their proper place. 
She requests the children with the slates to 
hang them up, and to put away their pencils ; 
so that, the next day, when slates and blocks 
are wanted, no time may be lost in searching 
for them. v 

Now which mother has the most time ? and 
which mother has the happiest time? And 
which mother will find the most comfort in 
the subsequent character and affection of her 
children ? 

Perhaps some one will say, this is a pleas- 
ing picture, but where are we to look for the 
reality ? It is indeed to be regretted that such 
scenes are of >so unfrequent occurrence. But 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 57 

it is far from being true that they do not occur. 
There are many such families of happy parents 
and affectionate children. And these families 
are not confined to the wealthy and the learned. 
It requires not wealth, and it requires not ex- 
tensive learning, to train up such a family. 
The principle of government is simple and 
plain. It is to begin with enforcing obedience 
to every command. It is to establish the prin- 
ciple that a mother's word is never to be disre- 
garded. Every judicious parent will, indeed, 
endeavor to gratify her children in their reason- 
able wishes. She will study to make them 
happy; but she will never allow them to gratify 
themselves in contradiction to her wishes. 

To illustrate this, let us refer to the children 
playing with the blocks. The mother directs 
them to put up the blocks. Maria asks permis- 
sion to play a few moments longer, till she can 
finish her house. The mother, desirous of ma- 
king her children as happy as she can, grants 
this reasonable wish. Here is a judicious in- 
dulgence. But suppose again that the children 
had continued playing without regard to their 
mother's command. They intend, perhaps, to 
continue their amusement only till they com- 
plete the pile then in progress. Here is an act 
of direct disobedience. The children are con- 



58 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

suiting their own inclinations instead of the 
commands of their mother. A judicious pa- 
rent will not allow such an act to pass unno- 
ticed or unpunished. She may perhaps think, 
considering the circumstances of the case, that 
a reprimand is all that is required. But she will 
not fail to seize upon the occasion to instill into 
their minds a lesson of obedience. 

Is it said that by noticing such little things a 
mother must be continually finding fault ? But 
it is not a little thing for a child to disobey a 
mother's commands. This one act of disre- 
garding authority prepares the way for another. 
It is the commencement of evil which must be 
resisted. The very first appearances of insub- 
ordination must be checked. There are doubt- 
less cases of trifling faults occurring, which a 
wise parent will judge it expedient to overlook. 
Children will sometimes be thoughtless and in- 
advertent. They will occasionally err from 
strict propriety, without any real intention of 
doing wrong. Judgment is here requisite in 
deciding what things must be overlooked ; but 
we may be assured, I think, that direct and open 
disobedience is not, in any case, to be classed 
among the number of trifling faults. The eat- 
ing of an apple banished our first parents from 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 59 

paradise. The atrocity of the offense consist- 
ed in disobedience of a divine command. 

Now, every mother has power to obtain 
prompt obedience if she commences with her 
children when they are young. They are then 
entirely in her hands. All their enjoyments 
are at her disposal. God has thus given her 
all the power that she needs, to govern and 
guide them. We have endeavored to show, by 
the preceding illustrations, that the fundamental 
principle of government is, when you do give a 
command, invariably insist upon obedience. 
And God has given every mother the power to 
enforce this principle. He has placed in your 
hands a helpless babe, entirely dependent upon 
you ; so that if it disobeys you, all you have to 
do is to cut off its sources of enjoyment, or to 
inflict bodily pain, so steadily and so invariably 
that disobedience and suffering shall be indisso- 
lubly connected in the mind of the child. What 
more power can a parent ask for than that 
which God has already given him ? And if we 
fail to use this power for the purposes for which 
it was bestowed, the sin is ours, and upon us 
and upon our children must rest the consequen- 
ces. The exercise of discipline must often be 
painful, but if you shrink from duty here, you 
expose yourself to all that sad train of woes 



60 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

which disobedient children leave behind them. 
If you can not summon sufficient resolution to 
deprive them of enjoyment, and inflict pain 
when it is necessary, then you must feel that a 
broken heart and an old age of sorrow will not 
be unmerited. And when you look upon your 
dissolute sons and ungrateful daughters, you 
must remember that the time was when you 
might have checked their evil propensities. If 
you love momentary ease better than your chil- 
dren's welfare and your own permanent happi- 
ness, you can not murmur at the lot which you 
will have freely chosen. And when you meet 
your children at the bar of God, and they point 
to you and say, " It was through your neglect 
of duty that we are banished from heaven, and 
consigned to endless woe/' you must feel what 
no tongue can tell. Ah ! it is dreadful for a 
mother to trifle with duty. Eternal destinies 
are committed to your trust. The influence 
which you are now exerting will continue un- 
checked by the grave or the judgment, and will 
extend onward through those ages to which 
there is no end. 



CHAPTER III. 

MATERNAL AUTHORITY CONTINUED. 

Upon the subject of obedience there are a 
few other suggestions of importance to be 
made. 

1. First, there is a very great diversity in 
the natural dispositions of children. Some 
are very tender in their feelings, and easily 
governed by affection. Others are naturally 
independent and self-willed. Sometimes a child 
gets its passions excited and its will determined, 
and it can not be subdued but by a very great 
effort. Almost every faithful mother is ac- 
quainted with such contests, and she knows 
that they often form a crisis in the character 
of the child. If the child then obtain the vic- 
tory, it is almost impossible for the mother 
afterward to regain her authority. The child 
feels that he is the victor, and his mother the 
vanquished ; and it is with very great difficulty 
that he will be compelled to renounce his in- 
dependence. If, on the other hand, the mother 



62 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

conquer, and the child is subdued, he feels that 
the question is settled, and he has but little dis- 
position to resume hostilities with one who has 
proved herself superior. I have known many- 
such contests, severe and protracted, which 
were exceedingly painful to a parent's feelings. 
But, when once entered upon, they must be 
continued till the child is subdued. It is not 
safe, on any account, for the parent to give up 
and retire vanquished. 

The following instance of such a contest is 
one which really occurred. A gentleman, sit- 
ting by his fireside one evening, with his 
family around him, took the spelling-book and 
called upon one of his little sons to come and 
read. John was about four years old. He 
knew all the letters of the alphabet perfectly, 
but happened at that moment to be in rather a 
sullen humor, and was not at all disposed to 
gratify his father. Very reluctantly he came 
as he was bid, but when his father pointed with 
his pencil to the first letter of the alphabet, and 
said, " What letter is that, John ?" he could get 
no answer. John looked upon the book, sulky 
and silent. 

"My son/' said the father pleasantly, "you 
know the letter A." 

" I can not say JL," said John. 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 63 

" You must," said the father, in a serious and 
decided tone. " What letter is that ?" 

John refused to answer. The contest was 
now fairly commenced. John was willful, and 
determined that he would not read. His father 
knew that it would be ruinous to his son to 
allow him to conquer. He felt that he must, 
at all hazards, subdue him. He took him into 
another room, and punished him. He then re- 
turned, and again showed John the letter. But 
John still refused to name it. The father again 
retired with his son, and punished him more 
severely. But it was unavailing ; the stubborn 
child still refused to name the letter, and when 
told that it was A, declared that he could not 
say A. Again the father inflicted punishment 
as severely as he dared to do it, and still the 
child, with his whole frame in agitation, refused 
to yield. The father was suffering from the 
most intense solicitude. He regretted exceed- 
ingly that he had been drawn into the contest. 
He had already punished his child with a sever- 
ity which he feared to exceed. And yet the 
willful sufferer stood before him, sobbing and 
trembling, but apparently as unyielding as a 
rock. I have often heard that parent mention 
the acuteness of his feelings at that moment. 
His heart was bleeding at the pain which he 



64 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

had been compelled to inflict upon his son. He 
knew that the question was now to be settled, 
who should be master. And after his son had 
withstood so long and so much, he greatly- 
feared the result. The mother sat by, suffer- 
ing, of course, most acutely, but perfectly sat- 
isfied that it was their duty to subdue the child, 
and that in such a trying hour a mother's feel- 
ings must not interfere. With a heavy heart 
the father again took the hand of his son to 
lead him out of the room for farther punish- 
ment. But, to his inconceivable joy, the child 
shrunk from enduring any more suffering, and 
cried, " Father, I'll tell the letter/' The father, 
with feelings not easily conceived, took the 
book and pointed to the letter. 

"Ay' said John, distinctly and fully. 

" And what is that ?" said the father, pointing 
to the next letter. 

'B," said John. 

" And what is that V 

" C," he continued. 

" And what is that ?" pointing again to the 
first letter. 

"Ay 9 said the now humble child. 

" Now carry the book to your mother, and 
tell her what the letter is." 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 65 

"What letter is that, my son," said the 
mother. 

" JL," said John. He was evidently perfectly 
subdued. The rest of the children were sitting 
by, and they saw the contest, and they saw 
where was the victory. And John learnt a les- 
son which he never forgot — that his father had 
an arm too strong for him. He learned never 
again to wage such an unequal warfare. He 
learnt that it was the safest and happiest course 
for him to obey. 

But perhaps some one says it was cruel to 
punish the child so severely. Cruel ! It was 
mercy and love. It would indeed have been 
cruel had the father, in that hour, been unfaith- 
ful, and shrunk from his painful duty. The 
passions which he was then, with so much self- 
sacrifice, striving to subdue, if left unchecked, 
would, in all probability, have been a curse to 
their possessor, and have made him a curse to 
his friends. It is by no means improbable that 
upon the decisions of that hour depended the 
character and happiness of that child for life, 
and even for eternity. It is far from improba- 
ble that, had he then conquered, all future ef- 
forts to subdue him would have been in vain, 
and that he would have broken away from all 
restraint, and have been miserable in life, and 



66 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



lost in death. Cruelty! The Lord preserve 
children from the tender mercies of those who 
so regard such self-denying kindness. 

It is always best, however, if possible, to avoid 
such collisions. Many children are taught im- 
plicit obedience, without ever entering into such 
a contest with their parents. And it is cer- 
tainly preferable to govern a child by the mild 
procedure of ordinary discipline, rather than 
enter into such a formidable conflict, where 
great severity is often required. Wisdom, there- 
fore, teaches us to guard against giving a child 
an opportunity of summoning all its energies to 
disobey. They are peculiar occasions, and pe- 
culiar moods of mind, which generally elicit 
this strength of rebellious feeling. A little fore- 
sight will often enable us, without surrender of 
authority, to calm the rising feeling, instead of 
exciting it to its utmost strength. We may 
sometimes, by judicious management, check the 
rebellion in its first appearance, before it has 
gained sufficient strength to call all our power 
into exercise to put it down. 

As an illustration, let us suppose that James 
and Mary are playing together in the evening, 
and James gets vexed and strikes his sister. 
He has done this without any provocation, and 
ought to be punished, and to ask his sister's for- 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 67 

giveness. But the mother has perceived that, 
during the whole day, James has manifested a 
very unamiable disposition. He has been irri- 
table and unyielding. She sees that now he is 
excited and angry. Every parent knows that 
such variations of feeling are not uncommon. 
One day a child is gentle and affectionate ; the 
next every thing seems to go wrong; little 
things vex and irritate him, and his whole dis- 
position seems to be soured. The mother now, 
in the case in question, perceives that her son 
is in this frame of mind. He has done wrong, 
and he ought to ask his sister's forgiveness ; 
but she knows that, in this excited and unamia- 
ble frame of mind, he will be strongly tempted 
to resist her authority if she requires him to do 
so. Unreasonably vexed as he is, it would be 
one of the hardest acts of submission for him 
to ask the forgiveness of his sister. If the 
mother requires him to do so, the temptation is 
so strong, that, in all probability, he will refuse 
to obey. She must then punish him. And 
here comes the contest, which must be con- 
tinued, if it is commenced, till the child submits. 
Now, how is this contest to be avoided ? By 
overlooking the fault ? Most certainly hot. 
The mother rises, takes James by the hand, 
and says, "My son, you have been doing very 



68 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

wrong; you are ill-humored, and must not 
stay with us any longer : I will carry you to 
bed." She accordingly leads him away to his 
chamber. 

Just before leaving him for the night, she 
says to him in a kind but sorrowful tone, how 
much she is displeased, and how much God 
must be displeased with his conduct. As usual, 
she hears him say his prayers, or kneels by the 
bedside and prays herself that God will forgive 
him. She then leaves him to his own reflec- 
tions and to sleep. 

He is thus punished for his fault. And as he 
lies in his bed, and hears his brothers and sis- 
ters playing happily together below stairs, he 
feels how much wiser and better it is to be a 
good boy. In the morning he awakes. Night 
has given repose to his excited feelings. He 
thinks how unhappy his yesterday's misconduct 
made him, and resolves to be more upon his 
guard for the future. All his rebellious feelings 
are quelled by the soothing influence of sleep. 
His passions are not aroused. The mother can 
now operate upon his mind without any fear of 
having a contest with a determined and stub- 
born will. 

When the children come down in the morn- 
ing, she calls James and Mary before her. 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 69 

Taking the hand of each, she mildly says, " My 
son, you made us all unhappy last night by 
striking your sister ; I hope you are sorry for 
what you did." "Yes, mother, I am," says 
James ; being led easily now to the feelings of 
penitence and submission, to which, during the 
moments of irritation and excitement, he could 
not, at least without great difficulty, have been 
driven. Thus, by judicious management, the 
desired object is attained, and perfectly attained, 
while the contest is avoided. The fault is not 
overlooked, and James is humbled. But had 
the mother, regardless of the child's peculiar 
state of feeling, commanded him immediately 
to ask forgiveness of his sister, it would, in all 
probability, have led to a scene acutely painful 
to both mother and son. And the final effect 
of the discipline would, perhaps, have been less 
beneficial upon the mind of the child than the 
course which was actually pursued. But cases 
will sometimes occur when it is not possible 
thus to wave the strife. When such an emer- 
gency rises, it is the duty of the parent boldly 
and resolutely to meet it. If, from false feeling, 
you shrink from this duty, you are recreant to 
the sacred trust which God has committed to 
your care. Is it kindness for a mother to let 
her child die, rather than compel it to take the 



70 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

bitter prescription which is to restore it to 
health and strength ? And is it kindness to let 
those passions conquer, which, unsubdued, will 
be, for time and eternity, a scourge to their pos- 
sessor ? If there be any cruelty in the world 
which is truly frightful, it is the cruelty of a 
falsely indulgent and unfaithful parent. 

Let it be particularly understood, however, 
in respect to the subject of formal and settled 
contests between parents and children, that 
though firmness and decision are absolutely 
necessary on the part of parents, when such 
contests unavoidably arise, they can and they 
ought to be in most cases avoided. If, for in- 
stance, a child disobeys you, you can simply 
punish it for the atct of disobedience, and there 
let the difficulty end. It is not necessary that 
you should always require that the thing at first 
commanded should be done. You direct a little 
girl to give a book to her sister. She refuses ; 
and you may take two distinct courses to main- 
? tain your violated authority. You may go and 
take the book yourself and give it to the sis- 
ter, and then inflict such a punishment upon 
the disobedient one as the offense deserves. 
Or, you may insist upon obedience ; and to en- 
force it, enter upon a contest which may be 
long and painful. Now, whichever of these 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 71 

plans you adopt, be firm and decided in the ex- 
ecution of it. The former is, however, in al- 
most all cases, the wisest and best. 

In the above remarks, allusion has been made 
to the variations of feeling to which children 
are subject. No one, who has had any thing 
to do with education, can have failed to observe 
this. In fact, these fluctuations of feeling are 
by no means peculiar to the earlier stages of 
life. Almost every one is conscious of seasons 
when he seems to be afflicted with a kind of 
morbid sensitiveness. Our spirits often rise 
and fall with the state of the bodily health ; and 
he has gained a great victory over his body, 
and a great triumph of mind, who can invaria- 
bly preserve the same calm and cheerful spirit, 
undisturbed by harassing cares, or by the irri- 
tations of a diseased frame. The nervous svs- 
tern of some individuals is so delicately con- 
structed, that an east wind, or a damp day, will 
completely unhinge the mind. When we see 
that some of the wisest and best of men are 
oppressed with these infirmities, we must learn 
forbearance and sympathy w r ith children. At 
such times, a judicious mother, knowing that 
the irritability is as much a bodily as a mental 
infirmity, will do all in her power to calm and 
soothe the ruffled spirit. She will avoid every 



72 THE MOTHE.R AT HOME. 

thing calculated to irritate the feelings, and will 
endeavor, by gentle amusements, or by the in- 
fluence of repose, to lull these feelings to sleep. 
By this method she will save the child much- 
unhappiness, and will greatly promote the culti- 
vation of an amiable and sweet disposition. 
The heart of a child is of too delicate a texture 
to be handled with a rough and careless grasp. 
Its affectionate and gentle feelings should be 
elicited by maternal sympathy and love. And 
we should endeavor to assuage its occasional 
irritability, by calling away the mind from ob- 
jects of unpleasant excitement, and alluring it 
to cheering contemplations. 

It is clear that there is a striking difference 
in the natural dispositions of children ; but 
nothing can be more evident than that a good 
disposition may be permanently changed by 
harsh and vexatious measures, while on the 
other hand, a child of naturally unamiable feel- 
ings may, by judicious culture, become mild 
and lovely. The cultivation of the disposition 
is an important part of education. Hence the 
necessity of studying the moods and the feel- 
ings of the child, and of varying the discipline 
to meet these changes. Cases will undoubtedly 
arise, when the parent will find it difficult to 
judge what is duty. Such cases will, however, 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 73 

be unfrequent. The obvious general policy is, 
when a child is in this excited state, to remove 
him as much as possible from the power of 
temptation. And if he commits a fault which 
it is necessary to notice, let the punishment be 
of such a kind as is calculated to soothe and 
quiet him. For instance, give him a comfort- 
able seat by the fire, and require him not to 
leave the chair for half an hour. Place in his 
hand some pleasing book, or give him some 
plaything which will amuse him: By this 
means you will show that though you find it 
necessary to subject him to confinement, you 
cherish no vindictive or resentful feelings 
against him, and so you awaken no resentment 
in his heart. In this way the punishment is 
adapted to the peculiarity of the moral dis- 
order. 

Nor would such a confinement as this be a 
mere mockery of punishment, as it might at 
first seem. The child feels it to be a real pun- 
ishment, while still he is not irritated by it. 
In some cases even, faults may be committed, 
in circumstances such as we have supposed, 
which it would be best not to notice at all. A 
boy may speak peevishly to his sister. The 
mother does not appear to notice it ; she, how- 
ever, sees the importance of immediately allay- 



74 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

ing this peevish spirit, and she endeavors to 
plan some amusement which will promote good- 
humor. Perhaps she lays down her work and 
joins the children in their amusements, till, 
through her happy influence, cheerfulness and 
good-humor are restored. 

" Here, my son," she says, " I should like to 
have you take your slate, and sit down in your 
chair, and see if you can draw some animal so 
correctly that I can tell what it is. And Maria, 
you may take your slate and chair, and sit by 
his side, and do the same." 

The children are quite animated with their 
new play. They are soon busily at work, and 
whispering together, that their mother may not 
hear their conversation and learn by it what 
animals they are drawing. By this simple arti- 
fice the little cloud of irritated feeling which 
was rising, is entirely dispelled. Had the moth- 
er, on the other hand, punished the child for the 
incidental peevishness of remark, his mind 
f would not have been so speedily or so pleasantly 
brought into its desired state. Or, had the 
mother taken no notice of the occurrence, the 
disposition of the child would have been injured 
by the continuance and perhaps increase of the 
ill-humor. Very probably an open quarrel 
might soon have ensued. Constant watchful- 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 75 

ness, on the part of the mother, will enable her 
thus to foresee many dangers, and prevent 
many difficulties. 

2. Never punish a child when it has not in- 
tentionally done wrong. Chidren are often 
very unjustly punished. Things which are 
really wrong are sometimes overlooked, and at 
others punishment is inflicted on account of 
some accident, when the child is entirely inno- 
cent of any intentional wrong. Such a course 
of procedure not only destroys, in the mind of 
the child, the distinction between accident and 
crime, but is in itself absolutely iniquitous. 
The parent possesses all power, and she may 
act as a relentless tyrant, while the child can 
have no redress. There is no oppression more 
cruel than that often thus exercised by passion- 
ate parents over their children. 

It is very frequently the case that a mother, 
who does not intend to be guilty of injustice, 
neglects to make a proper distinction between 
faults and accidents. A child is playing about 
the room, and accidentally tears its clothes, or 
breaks a window with the ball which it is al- 
lowed to play with upon the floor. The mother, 
vexed with the trouble which the accident will 
cause her, hastily punishes the child. A child 
may indeed be careless, and so criminally care- 



76 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

less as to deserve punishment. But in that 
case, the punishment ought to be inflicted in 
such a manner as to show very clearly that it 
was the carelessness and not the accident that 
incurred it. To punish an accident is a great 
injustice ; — it is an injustice, however, that is 
far more extensively practiced than is generally 
imagined. In fact, perhaps the most common 
cause of unjust punishment, is confounding the 
accidental consequences of an act with the real 
guilt which a child incurred while performing 
that act. 

Parents are very prone to punish careless- 
ness in their children, when it leads to any evil 
consequences, and to overlook it when it is 
harmless in its results. A girl, for instance, is 
placed in charge of an infant. She leaves it 
and goes away a moment to play. The mother 
sees that she has gone, and calls her back, only 
chiding her for her neglect of duty, because no 
harm was done. If the infant had fallen down 
and been hurt, the girl would have been pun- 
ished. 

We are all too much inclined to estimate 
guilt by consequences. A child, for example, 
who has been permitted to climb upon the 
chairs, and take things from the table, acciden- 
tally pushes off some valuable article. The 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY 



77 



^|ii,tiiMir.i:Jl 




THE ACCIDENT. 



mother punishes him severely. Now, where 
did this child do wrong ? His mother had not 
taught him that he must not climb up to the 
table. Of course, in the act of climbing there 
was no disobedience, and the child could not 
have been conscious, while doing it, that he 
was doing any thing improper. If merely a 
book had fallen, probably no notice would have 
been taken of the case. But the simple fact 
that one article fell instead of another, can not 



78 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

alter the nature of the offense. If it had been 
the most valuable watch which had fallen, and 
thus had been entirely ruined, if it had occurred 
purely through accident, the child deserves no 
punishment. 

Perhaps some one says, there is no need of 
arguing a point which is so clear. But is it 
not clear that such acts of injustice are very 
frequent ? And is not almost every mother 
conscious that she is not sufficiently guarded 
upon this point ? A mother must have great 
control over her own feelings — a calmness and 
composure of spirit not easily disturbed — or she 
will be occasionally provoked to acts of injustice 
by the misfortunes of which her children are 
the innocent cause. 

Does any one ask what should be done in such 
cases as the one referred to ? The answer is 
plain. Children ought to be taught not to do 
what will expose property to injury ; and then, 
if they do what is thus prohibited, consider them 
guilty, whether injury results or not. If the 
child, in the above-named case, had been so 
taught, this would have been an act of direct 
disobedience. And a faithful mother would 
probably pursue some such course as this. 
Without any manifestation of anger, she would 
calmly and seriously say to her son, 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 79 

" My son, I have often told you that you 
must not climb upon the table. You have dis- 
obeyed me." 

" But, mother," says the son, " I did not mean 
to do any harm." 

" I presume you did not, my son ; I do not \ 
accuse you of doing harm, but of having dis- 
obeyed me. The injury was accidental, and 
you are not accountable for it ; but the dis- 
obedience was deliberate, and very wrong. I 
am very sorry to punish you, but I must do it. 
It is my duty." 

She would then punish him, either by the 
infliction of pain, or by depriving him, for a 
time, of some of his usual privileges or enjoy- 
ments. The punishment, however, would be 
inflicted for the disobedience, and not for the 
accident which attended the disobedience. The 
child could not but feel that he was justly con- 
demned. 

But the question still remains, what is to be 
done, upon the original supposition that the 
child had never been taught that it was wrong * 
to climb upon the table, or to throw his ball 
about the room ? In that case the mother has, 
manifestly, no right even to censure the child. 
The fault is hers, in not having previously 
taught him the impropriety of such conduct. 



80 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

All that she can now do, is to improve the op- 
portunity which the occasion presents, to show 
him the danger of such amusements, and forbid 
them in future. 

If the child be very young, the mother will 
find it necessary occasionally to allude to the 
accident and to the rule which she had been led 
to establish by the occurrence of it, that the 
lessen may be impressed upon the mind of the 
child. If she were not to do this, the occur- 
rence might soon pass from his memory, and in 
a few days he might again, through entire for- 
getfulness, be engaged in his forbidden sports. 

Allowance must also be made for the igno- 
rance of a child. You have, perhaps, a little 
daughter, eighteen months old, who often 
amuses herself in tearing to pieces some old 
newspaper which you give her. It is, to her, 
quite an interesting experiment. Some day 
you happen to have your attention particularly 
occupied for a length of time, and at last, on 
raising your eyes to see what keeps her so quiet 
upon the floor, you find that she has a very 
valuable book in her hand, which she has almost 
entirely ruined; and your first impulse is to 
punish her, or, at least, severely to reprove her 
for the injury. But has she really been doing 
any thing deserving of punishment or censure ? 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 



81 



Certainly not. How can she know that it is 
proper for her to tear one piece of paper, but 
wrong for her to tear another ? She has been 
as innocently employed as she ever was in her 
life. The only proper thing to be done, in such 
a case, is to endeavor to teach the child that a 
book must be handled with care, and must not 
be torn. But how can she be taught this with- 
out punishing her ? She may be taught by the 
serious tone of your voice, and the sad expres- 
sion of your countenance, that she has been 
doing something which you regret. In this 
way she may be easily taught the difference 
between a book and a newspaper. 
A little boy, 



about two years of 
age, was in the 
habit of amusing 
himself by scrib- 
bling upon paper 
with a pencil. The 
father came into 
the room one day, 
and found that the 
little fellow had ex- 
ceedingly defaced 
a new book. The 
marks of his pencil 







THE BOOK. 



82 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

were all over it. Perfectly unconscious of the 
mischief which he was doing, the child con- 
tinued his employment as the father entered. 
In many cases, the parent, in irritation, would 
have roughly taken the book away, and inflicted 
a severe blow upon the cheek of the child. I 
thought I perceived that this was the first emo- 
tion in the mind of this parent, though he was 
of an unusually calm and collected spirit. If it 
was, however, he immediately saw its impro- 
priety ; for, approaching his child, he said, in a 
perfectly mild and pleasant tone, 

" O ! my son ! my son ! you are spoiling the 
book." 

The child looked up in amazement. 

" That is a book, my son ; you must not 
write upon that. See here/' turning over the 
leaves, " you will spoil father's book. Here is 
some paper for you. You may write upon this, 
but you must never write in the book." 

The father then took the book, injured as it 
was, and laid it aside, without any exhibition 
of excited feeling. Now, how manifestly is this 
the proper course to pursue, in such a case ; 
and yet how few children are there who, in 
such circumstances, would have escaped unde- 
served punishment. 

These illustrations are sufficient to show the 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 83 

importance of making allowance for ignorance, 
and for accidents. And they also show how 
frequently children suffer, when they are not to 
blame. If a child is punished when innocent, 
as well as when guilty, the distinction between 
right and wrong is obliterated from his mind. 
Hence it becomes an important rule in family 
government, never to punish the child unless he 
has intentionally and knowingly done wrong. 

3. Never think that your child is too young 
to obey. We are ingenious in framing excuses 
for neglecting our duty with our children. At 
one time they are too young ; again they are 
too sick. Some parents always find an excuse, 
of one kind or another, for allowing their chil- 
dren to have their own way. A child may, at a 
very early age, be taught obedience. We can 
easily teach even a kitten, or a little dog, that 
it must not touch the meat which is placed be- 
fore the fire, that it must leave the room when 
bidden, and a thousand other acts of ready 
obedience. 

A Frenchman, it is said, has recently collected 
a large number of canary birds for a show. He 
has taught them such implicit obedience to his 
voice, as to march them in platoons across the 
room, and directs them to the ready performance 
of many simple manoeuvers. 



84 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

Now, can it be admitted that a child, fifteen 
months or two years of age, is inferior in un- 
derstanding to a canary bird ! And must the 
excuse be made for such a child, that he does 
not know enough to be taught obedience ? A 
very judicious mother, who has brought up a 
large family of children, all of whom are now 
in situations of respectability and usefulness, 
remarked that it was her practice to obey her 
children for the first year of their life, but ever 
after that she expected them to obey her. She, 
of course, did not mean by this remark, that the 
moment the child was one year of age, a sud- 
den and total change took place in her manage- 
ment. During the early months of its infancy 
she considered it to be her duty to do every 
thing in her power to make the child comfort- 
able and happy. She would endeavor to anti- 
cipate all its wants. She would be obedient to 
the wishes of the child. But, by the time the 
child was one year of age, she considered it old 
enough to be brought under the salutary regu- 
lations of a well-disciplined family. 

I am aware that many parents will say that 
this is altogether too early a period to com- 
mence the government of a child, and others 
equally numerous, perhaps, will say that it is 
too late ; that a beginning should be made at a 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 85 

much earlier period. In fact, the principle 
which really ought to guide in such a case, is 
this : that the authority of the mother ought to 
be established over the child as soon as it is able 
to understand a command or prohibition ex- 
pressed by looks and gestures. This is at a 
much earlier period than most parents imagine. 
Let the mother who doubts.it try the exper- 
iment, and see how easily she can teach her 
child that he must not touch the tongs or and- 
irons ; or that, when sitting in her lap at table, 
he must not touch the cups and saucers. A 
child may be taught obedience in such things 
then, as well as at any period of its life. And 
how much trouble does a mother save herself, 
by having her child thus early taught to obey ! 
How much pain and sorrow does she save her 
child by accustoming it, in its most tender years, 
to habits of prompt obedience. 

4. Guard against too much severity. By pur- 
suing a steady course of efficient government, 
severity will very seldom be found necessary. 
If, when punishment is necessary, it is inflicted 
with composure and with solemnity, occasions 
for punishment will be very unfrequent. Let 
a mother ever be affectionate and mild with her 
children. Let her sympathize with them in 
their little sports. Let her gain their confi- 



86 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

dence by her assiduous efforts to make them 
happy. And let her feel, when they have done 
wrong, not irritated, but sad ; and punish them, 
in sorrow, but not in anger. Fear is a useful 
and necessary principle in family government. 
God makes use of it in governing his creatures. 
But it is ruinous to the disposition of a child, 
exclusively to control him by this motive. How 
unhappy must be that family where the parent 
always sits with a face deformed with scowls, 
and where the voice is always uttered in tones 
of severity and command ! Such parents we 
often see. Their children fear them. They 
are always under restraint in their presence; 
and home becomes to them an irksome prison, 
instead of the happy retreat of peace and joy. 
But where the mother greets her children with 
smiles ; and rewards their efforts to please her, 
with caresses ; and addresses them in tones of 
mildness and affection, she is touching those 
chords in the human heart which vibrate in 
sweet harmony ; she is calling into action the 
noblest and the loveliest principles of our na- 
ture. And thus does she prepare the way for 
every painful act of discipline to come with ef- 
fectual power upon the heart. The children 
know that it gives her pain to punish them. 
In all cases in which it can be done, children 



MATERNAL AUTHORITY. 87 

should thus be governed by kindness. But 
when kindness fails, and disobedience ensues, 
let not the mother hesitate for a moment to fall 
back upon her last resort, and punish as severely 
as is necessary. A few such cases will teach 
almost any child how much better it is to be 
obedient than disobedient. 

By being thus consistent and decided in gov- 
ernment, and commencing with the infancy of 
each child, in all ordinary cases great severity 
may be avoided. And it is never proper for a 
parent to be harsh, and unfeeling, and forbid- 
ding, in her intercourse with her children. The 
most efficient family government may be al- 
most entirely administered by affection, if it be 
distinctly understood that disobedience can not 
pass unpunished. I can not but pity those un- 
happy children who dare not come to their pa- 
rents in confidence and love; who are con- 
tinually fearing stern looks and harsh words ; 
and who are consequently ever desirous to get 
away from home, that they may enjoy them- 
selves. Every effort should be made to make 
home the most happy place to them ; to gather 
around it associations of delight ; and thus to 
form in the mind of your child an attachment 
for peaceful and purifying enjoyments. This 
will most strongly fortify his mind against vice. 



88 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

And when he leaves the paternal roof, he will 
ever look back with fond recollections to its 
joys, and with gratitude to those who made it the. 
abode of so much happiness. In future years, 
too, when your children become the heads of 
families, they will transmit to their children the 
principles which you have implanted. Thus 
may the influence of your instructions extend 
to thousands yet unborn. 

How little do we think of the tremendous 
responsibilities which are resting upon us ; and 
of the wide influence, either for good or for evil, 
which we are exerting ! We are setting in 
operation a train of causes which will go down 
through all coming time. Long after we have 
gone to our eternal home, our words and our 
actions will be aiding in the formation of char- 
acter. We can not then arrest the causes which 
our lives have set in progress, and they will go 
on elevating immortals to virtue and to heaven, 
or urging them onward in passion, and sin, and 
woe. 



CHAPTER IV. 

THE MOTHER'S DIFFICULTIES. 

The remarks which have already been made 
are so obvious, that one is led to inquire, Why 
is family government generally so defective? 
"Why do so few succeed in obtaining prompt 
obedience from their children? There are 
many causes operating to produce this result. 
The rules of discipline may be simple and plain, 
and yet many motives may influence us to 
shrink from enforcing them. 

1. One great obstacle is the want of self- 
control on the part of parents. How few 
persons are there who have gained that con- 
quest over self, which enables them to meet the 
various vicissitudes of life with calmness and 
composure ! How few are there who are not, 
occasionally at least, thrown off their guard, 
and provoked to the exhibition of excited and 
irritated feeling ! And can a mother expect to 
govern her child when she can not govern her- 
self ? Family government must most emphati- 



90 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

cally begin at home. It must begin in the 
bosom of the parent. She must learn to con- 
trol herself ; to subdue her own passions ; she 
must set her children an example of meekness 
and of equanimity, or she must reasonably ex- 
pect that all her efforts to control their passions 
will be ineffectual. A. child gets irritated and 
strikes his sister ; and the mother gets irritated 
and whips the child. Now, both mother and 
child have been guilty of precisely the same 
sin. They have both been angry, and both in 
anger have struck another. And w r hat is the 
effect of this sinful punishment ? It may make 
the child afraid to strike his sister again ; but 
will it teach that child that he has done wrong ; 
that it is wicked to be angry ? Can it have 
any salutary effect upon his heart ? He sees 
that his mother is irritated, and thus is he taught 
that it is proper for him to be angry. He sees 
that when his mother is irritated she strikes ; 
and thus is he taught that the same course is 
proper for him. The direct effect of the pun- 
ishment is to feed the flame and strengthen the 
inveteracy of passion. In such a course as this 
there is no moral instruction, and no salutary 
discipline. And yet a mother who has not con- 
quered self, who can not restrain the violence 
of her own passions, will often inflict punish- 



the mother's difficulties. 91 

ments like these. When we see such a moth- 
er with passionate and turbulent children, no 
second question need be asked why they are 
not gentle and obedient. And when we reflect 
how very few there are who may not be occa- 
sionally provoked to act from the irritation of 
the moment, we can not wonder that the family 
so often presents a scene of uproar and misrule. 
This habit of self-control, at all times, and 
under all circumstances, is one of the most im- 
portant and most difficult things to be acquired. 
Many parents have, from infancy, been unac- 
customed to restraint, and they find a very great 
struggle to be necessary to smother those feel- 
ings which will sometimes rise almost involun- 
tarily. But we should ever remember that this 
must be done, or we can not be faithful to our 
children. We must bring our own feelings and 
our own actions under a system of rigid disci- 
pline, or it will be in vain for us to hope to curb 
the passions and restrain the conduct of those 
who are looking to us for instruction and ex- 
ample. There will many cases occur which 
will exceedingly try a mother's patience. Un- 
less naturally blest with a peculiarly quiet spirit, 
or habituated from early life to habits of self- 
government, she will find that she has very 
much to do with her own heart. This point 



92 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

we would most earnestly urge, for it is of fun- 
damental importance. Anger is temporary in- 
sanity. And what can be more deplorable than 
to see a mother in the paroxysm of irritation, 
taking vengeance on her child ? Let a mother 
feel grieved, and manifest her grief when her 
child does wrong. Let her, with calmness and 
reflection, use the discipline which the case re- 
quires. But never let her manifest irritated 
feeling, or give utterance to an angry expres- 
sion. If her own mind is thus kept serene and 
unimpassioned, she will instruct by example as 
well as precept. She will easily know, and 
more judiciously perform her duty. And the 
superiority of her own conduct will command 
the respect and the admiration of her children. 
Until this is done, it will be impossible for a 
mother to enforce the rules of discipline, simple 
and obvious as those rules are. 

2. Another great obstacle in the way is the 
want of resolution. It is always painful to a 
parent's feelings to deprive a child of any rea- 
sonable enjoyment, or to inflict pain. Hence 
we are ingenious in framing apologies to re- 
lieve ourselves from this duty. Your child does 
wrong, and you know that he ought to be pun- 
ished ; but you shrink from the duty of inflict- 
ing the punishment. Now, of what avail is it 



the mother's difficulties. 93 

to be acquainted with the rules of discipline, 
if we can not summon resolution to enforce 
those rules ? It will do no good to read one 
book and another upon the subject of education, 
unless we are willing, with calm and steady 
decision, to punish our children when the occa- 
sion requires. It is this weak indulgence, this 
wicked refusal to perform painful duty, which 
has ruined thousands of families. 

In fact, cases sometimes occur, in which a 
mother, not content with neglecting herself, to 
perform her duty to her children, will interpose 
to prevent her husband from doing it. She will 
openly remonstrate with the father for punish- 
ing a stubborn child. She will call him cruel 
and unfeeling, and confirm her child in his will- 
fulness, by her wicked sympathy and her ca- 
resses. 

What can be expected from such a course as 
this ? Such a mother is the most cruel and 
merciless enemy which her child can have. 
Under such an influence he will probably grow 
up in wretchedness, not only to curse the day 
in which he was born, but to heap still bitterer 
curses upon the mother who bore him. You 
can do nothing more ruinous to your child ; 
you can do nothing which will more effectually 
teach him to hate and despise you ; you can do 



94 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

nothing which will, with more certainty, bring 
you in sorrow and disgrace to the grave, than 
thus to allow maternal feelings to influence you 
to neglect painful but necessary acts of disci- 
pline. 

I would ask the mother who reads this book, 
if she has not often been conscious of a struggle 
between the sense of duty and inclination. 
Duty has urged you to punish your child. In- 
clination has urged you to overlook its disobe- 
dience. Inclination has triumphed ; and your 
child has retired victorious, and of course con- 
firmed in his sin. Be assured that thus, in your 
own heart, lies one of the greatest obstacles to 
your success ; and until this obstacle be sur- 
mounted, every thing else will be unavailing. 
It would by no means be difficult to fill this 
volume with cases illustrative of this fact, and 
of the awful consequences resulting. 

A few years since, a lady was left a widow, 
with several little sons. She loved them most 
devotedly. The affliction which she had ex- 
perienced in the loss of her husband, fixed her 
affections w T ith more intensity of ardor and sen- 
sitiveness upon her children. They were her 
only hope. Sad and joyless as she was, she 
could not endure to punish them, or to deprive 
them of a single indulgence. Unhappy and 



THE MOTHER S DIFFICULTIES. 95 

misguided woman ! Could she expect to es- 
cape the consequences of such a course? She 
was living upon the delusive hope that her in- 
dulgences would insure their love. And now 
one of these sons is seventeen years of age, a 
strong, and turbulent, and self-willed boy. He 
is altogether beyond the influence of maternal 
restraint. He is the tyrant of the family, and 
his afflicted mother is almost entirely broken- 
hearted by this accumulation of sorrow. The 
rest of the children are advancing in the same 
path. She sees and trembles in view of the 
calamity, which it is now too late to avert. It 
would be far happier for her to be childless, as 
well as a widow. Her children are her op- 
pressors. She is their slave. It is impossible 
for her now to retrace her steps, or to retrieve 
the injury which she has done to her children 
and to herself. Hardly any situation can be 
conceived more truly pitiable. And what has 
caused this magnitude of sorrow ? Simply the 
mother's reluctance to do her duty. She looked 
upon her poor fatherless children with all the 
tender emotions of a widowed mother, and 
could not bear to throw around them necessary 
restraint, and insist upon obedience to her com- 
mands. She knew perfectly well, that when 
they were disobedient, they ought to be pun- 



96 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

ished ; that it was her duty to enforce her au- 
thority. It was not her ignorance which caused 
this dreadful wreck of happiness ; it was the 
want of resolution — that fond, and foolish, and 
cruel tenderness, which induced her to consult 
her own feelings, rather that the permanent 
welfare of her children. 

The reader will, perhaps, inquire whether 
this statement is a true account of a real case. 
It is a true account of a thousand cases all over 
our land. Mothers, we appeal to your observa- 
tion, if you do not see, every where around you, 
these wrecks of earthly hopes. Have we not 
warnings enough to avoid this fatal rock ? and 
yet it is the testimony of all who have moved 
about the world with an observing eye, that this 
parental irresolution is one of the most promi- 
nent causes of domestic misery. 

Parental discipline should be enforced too, 
with calmness, energy, and decision, or it will 
often become inefficient and merely vexatious, 
so as to do more harm than good. The spirit 
of the child will be irritated, but not subdued 
by it. Punishment in such cases becomes a 
petty vexation, and its influence is most de- 
cidedly pernicious. It is of the utmost impor- 
tance, that when it is inflicted, it should be 
serious and effectual. And it is certain that 



the mother's difficulties. 97 

r I ■ 

the mother who adopts prompt and decisive 
measures, will go forward with far less trouble 
to herself and her child, and will, on the whole, 
inflict far less pain than the one who adopts the 
feeble and dilatory measures which we see so 
often resorted to. While the one must be con- 
tinually threatening, and inflicting that mockery 
of punishment which is just enough to irritate 
the temper and spoil the disposition ; the other 
will usually find her word promptly obeyed, and 
will very seldom find it necessary to punish 
at all. 

Many parents govern or attempt to govern, by 
threats. They never punish for the present of- 
fence, but are always threatening something ter- 
rible for the next one. When the next time 
comes, there is still no punishment but only 
new threats for future occasions. Now a gov- 
ernment of threats is the worst possible gov- 
ernment. Such a system keeps up a continual 
feeling of irritation and anger between the pa- 
rent and child, and yet fails wholly to accom- 
plish the ends of efficient discipline. 

But few persons have ever exemplified a 
more correct knowledge of human nature than 
Napoleon, and but few have ever acquired such 
a control over the mind. There was once a 
formidable mob rioting in the streets of Paris, 

G 



m 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 




THE RIOT, 



and carrying dev- 
astation wherever 
they went. An of- 
ficer was sent out 
with a body of in- 
\ fantry to disperse 
the mob. He or- 
dered them to re- 
tire. They answer- 
ed him with de- 
rision. He threat- 
ened to fire upon 
them. They defied 
him. He opened 
upon them a fire with blank cartridges. As 
volley after volley was discharged, and not a 
man fell, the mob laughed to scorn such impo- 
tent efforts. At last the general was compelled 
to load with ball. But by this time the passions 
of the mob were so excited, and they had be- 
come so familiar with the harmless discharge 
of musquetry, that they stood firm when the 
balls came. They had been gradually prepared 
for them. A formidable battle was the result; 
and it was not till after an immense massacre 
that the infuriated populace was dispersed. 

At another time, when the ravages of a Par- 
isian mob were scattering terror through the 



THE MOTHER S DIFFICULTIES. 99 

city, Napoleon himself went to suppress it. 
He led on, at a quick step, several companies 
of artillery. Immediately upon arriving at the 
scene of devastation, the soldiers, retiring to 
the right and left, opened upon the riotous mul- 
titude the formidable cannon. Not a word 
was said ; not a moment of hesitation inter- 
vened ; but at once the voice of Napoleon was 
heard in the thunder of the artillery, and the 
compact mass of the multitude was plowed 
through by a cannon-ball. The mob, unpre- 
pared for such decisive measures, and terrified 
at the havoc, fled with the utmost precipitancy 
in every direction. Then did he pour in his 
blank cartridges. Peal after peal thundered 
through the streets, adding to the consternation 
of the affrighted multitude, and in a very few 
minutes scarcely a solitary straggler was to be 
seen. The whole effect was produced by one 
ball fired at the proper time. 

Such was the general character of the meas- 
ures which this extraordinary man adopted, 
and which gave him an ascendency over the 
public mind almost unparalleled in the history 
of man. Some one afterward suggested to him 
in respect to the case above described, that it 
would have been more merciful if he had first 
tried the effect of blank charges, and then, if 



100 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

necessary, had proceeded to extremities. But 
he very justly replied, that by such tardy meas- 
ures the mob would have had time to collect 
their courage, and many more would have fal- 
len before they could have been compelled 
to fly. 

Now the principle illustrated in this anecdote 
is of universal application. Real benevolence 
prompts to decisive measures. The mother 
who first coaxes, then threatens, then pretends 
to punish, then punishes a little, and finally a 
little more, — is only making trouble for herself 
and sorrow for her family. But, on the other 
hand, if she promptly meets acts of disobe- 
dience with firmness, and inflicts necessary 
punishment decidedly, and at once, she is, in 
the most effectual way, promoting her own 
happiness, and the best welfare of her child. 

A parent is much more prone to be thus fa- 
tally indulgent, if a child is of a feeble and sick- 
ly constitution. Such children are very fre- 
quently spoiled. How strange, when God, in 
his mysterious providence, lays his hand upon 
some little one, and causes it to languish in 
weakness and in suffering, that the parent on 
that very account should neglect that child's 
welfare, and allow its passions to grow un- 
checked, its will to be stubborn and unsubdued ! 



THE MOTHER'S DIFFICULTIES. 101 

The mother perhaps is willing to do her duty 
with her more robust son. She will do all in 
her power to control his passions, and make him 
a good and happy boy. But the poor little suf- 
ferer she will indulge in all its caprices, till pas- 
sion is strong and irritability is unconquerable, 
and the deeper sorrows of the mind are thus 
added to the pains and weakness of the body. 
O how much cruelty there is in the world 
which goes by the false name of tenderness or 
love. Mother, have you a sick and suffering 
child ? You are to that child a guardian an- 
gel, if with mild and affectionate decision you 
enforce your authority. Punish that child if it 
be necessary to teach him habitually and prompt- 
ly to obey. If you do not do this, you are the 
most dangerous enem) r that your child can have. 
You are doing that which has the most direct 
tendency to perpetuate its feebleness and to 
promote its misery. And yet I know that some 
mothers will still say, " What, speak sternly to, 
and even punish a poor little child when sick ! 
How unfeeling !" There, there is the difficulty. 
Is it unkind for you to do all in your power to 
make your child patient and happy ! A little 
girl, we will suppose, by some accident is cut 
deeply in the hand. Her mother is so kind 
that she will not allow a physcian to be called, 



102 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

for fear lest he should hurt her daughter in pro- 
bing and dressing the wound. Day after day 
this kindmother beholds the increasing and ex- 
tending inflammation. She strives in her igno- 
rance to assuage the agony of the wound, till, 
after many days of excruciating suffering, the 
physician is finally summoned to save her 
daughter's life by amputating the limb. When 
the accident first occurred, a few moments of 
attention, and the enduring of a trifling pain, 
would have prevented all these dreadful conse- 
quences. 

But the conduct of that mother is far more 
cruel, who will allow the mind's inflammation 
to increase and extend unchecked ; who, rather 
than inflict the momentary pain which is ne- 
cessary to subdue the stubborn will, and allay 
irritation, will allow the moral disorder to gain 
such strength as to be incurable. The conse- 
quences thus ensuing are far more disastrous 
than those resulting from any bodily injury. 
They affect man's immortal nature, and go on 
through eternity. There is no cruelty so de- 
structive as this. 

Yet let it not be supposed that austerity is 
recommended. This is unnecessary, and is al- 
ways to be avoided. Let the tones of the voice 
be affectionate and soothing. Let the mother 



the mother's difficulties. 103 

sympathize with her whole heart in the trials 
and sufferings of her child. Let her be inge- 
nious in devices for its amusement. But let 
her not ruin her precious treasure by indulging 
it in peevishness or disobedience. Your child 
can not possibly be happy, unless taught to sub- 
due his passions and to be obedient to your will. 
We would have kindness, and gentleness, and 
love, ever diffusing joy through the family cir- 
cle. But if you would see your children happy, 
and be happy yourself, you must, when your 
children are in sickness, as well as when they 
are in health, summon sufficient resolution to 
insure propriety of behavior and obedience to 
your commands. 

Be invariably firm then in doing your duty. 
Never be restrained from any duty in the gov- 
ernment of your child, because it is painful to 
maternal feelings to perform it. It is certainly 
wisely ordered by Providence that it should be 
painful to a parent's heart to inflict suffering 
upon a child. He who can punish without 
sympathy, without emotions of sorrow, can not 
punish with a right spirit. Even our Father in 
heaven does not willingly afflict his children. 
But does he on that account withhold his disci- 
pline, and allow us to go on in sin unpunished ? 
We must, in earnest prayer, look to him for 



104 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

strength and wisdom, and religiously do our 
duty. We must be willing to have our own 
hearts bleed, if we can thus save our children 
from the ravages of those passions which, un- 
checked, will ruin their usefulness and peace. 

A child, a short time since, was taken sick 
with the dangerous disorder, the croup. It was 
a child most ardently beloved, and ordinarily 
very obedient. But in the state of uneasiness 
and pain produced by the paroxysms of the dis- 
ease, he refused to take the medicine which it 
was needful to administer without delay. The 
father, finding the boy resolute in his disobedi- 
ence, immediately punished him, sick and suf- 
fering as he was. Under these circumstances, 
and fearing that his son might soon die, it must 
have been a most severe trial to the father to 
be compelled to perform this duty. But the 
consequence was, that the child was taught that 
sickness was no excuse for disobedience. And 
while his sickness continued, he promptly took 
whatever medicine was prescribed, and was 
patient and submissive. Soon the child was 
well. Does any one say that this was cruel ? 
It was one of the noblest acts of kindness which 
could have been performed. If the father had 
shrunk from duty here, it is by no means im- 
probable that the life of the child would have 



THE MOTHER S DIFFICULTIES. 105 

been the forfeit. And this is the way to ac- 
quire strength of resolution, by practicing 
strength of resolution in every case. We must 
readily and promptly do our duty, be it ever so 
painful. 

3. Another great obstacle in the way of train- 
ing up a happy and virtuous family, is the oc- 
casional want of harmony between parents on 
the subject of education. Sometimes, when a 
father is anxious to do his duty, the mother is 
a weak and foolish woman, who thinks that 
every punishment, and every deprivation of in- 
dulgence, is cruelty to her children. And when 
any one of them is punished, she will, by her 
caresses, destroy the effect of the discipline, and 
convey to the mind of the child the impression 
that his father is cruel and unjust. A man who 
has formed so unhappy a connection, is indeed 
in a deplorable condition. And if his wife is 
incapable of being convinced of the ruinous 
consequences of such a course, he ought to take 
upon himself the whole duty of government. 
But as I am not now writing to fathers, I must 
turn from this case to another. 

It not unfrequently happens that a judicious 
and faithful mother is connected with a hus- 
band whose general principles and example are 
of a deleterious character. In such cases, not 



106 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

only does the whole government of the family- 
devolve upon the mother, but the influence of 
the father is such as, in a great degree, to coun- 
teract all her exertions. This is indeed a try- 
ing situation. It is, however, far from being a 
hopeless one. You must not give up in de- 
spair, but let the emergencies of the case rouse 
you to more constant watchfulness, and more 
persevering and vigorous effort. If a wife be 
judicious and consistent in her exertions, a 
father, in almost all cases, will soon feel confi- 
dence in her management of her family, and 
will very gladly allow her to bear all the burden 
of taking care of the children. Such a father 
is almost necessarily, much of the time, absent 
from home, and when at home, is not often in a 
mood to enjoy the society of his family. Let 
the mother in such a case, teach her children to 
be quiet and still when their father is present. 
Let her make every effort to accustom them 
to habits of industry. And let her do every 
thing in her power to induce them to be respect- 
ful, and obedient, and affectionate to their fa- 
ther. This course is indeed the best which can 
be adopted to reclaim the unhappy parent. The 
more cheerful you can make home to him, the 
stronger are the inducements which are pre- 



the mother's difficulties. 107 

sented to draw him away from scenes into 
which he ought not to enter. , 

It is true there is no situation more difficult 
than the one which we are now describing. 
But, that even these difficulties are not insur- 
mountable, facts have not unfrequently proved. 
Many cases occur, in which the mother tri- 
umphantly surmounts them all, and rears up a 
virtuous and happy family. Her husband is, 
perhaps, most brutally intemperate ; and I need 
not here depict the scenes through which such 
a mother is called to pass. She sees, however, 
that the welfare of the family is dependent upon 
her, and accordingly nerves her heart, resolutely, 
to meet her responsibilities. She commences, 
in the earliest infancy of her children, teaching 
them implicit obedience. She binds them to 
her with those ties from which they never would 
be able or desirous to break. The most abund- 
ant success rewards her efforts. The older her 
children grow, the more respectful and attentive 
they become, for the more clearly they see that 
they are indebted to their mother for salvation 
from their father's disgrace and woe. Every 
sorrow of such a mother is alleviated by the 
sympathy and affection of her sons. She looks 
around upon them with feelings of maternal 
gratification, which no language can describe. 



108 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

They feel the worth and the dignity of hei 
character. Though her situation in life may 
be humble, and though her mind may not be 
stored with knowledge, her moral worth, and 
her judicious government, command their rev- 
erence. 

In a family of this sort, in a neighboring- 
state, one cold December night, the mother was 
sitting alone by the fire, between the hours of 
nine and ten, waiting for the return of her ab- 
sent husband. Her sons, fatigued with the la- 
bors of the day, had all retired to rest. A little 
before ten, her husband came in from the neigh- 
boring store, where he had passed the evening 
with his degraded associates. He insisted upon 
calling up the boys at that unseasonable hour, 
to send into the wood lot for a load of wood. 
Though there was an ample supply of fuel at 
the house, he would not listen to reason or re- 
monstrance, but stamped with rage, and swore 
that the boys should go. The mother, finding 
it utterly in vain to oppose his wishes, called 
her sons, and told them that their father insisted 
upon their going with the team to the wood lot. 
She spoke to them kindly ; told them she was 
sorry that they must go ; but, said she, " Re- 
member that he is your father." Her sons were 
full grown young men. But at their mother's 



THE MOTHER S DIFFICULTIES. 



109 



voice they immediately rose, and, without a 
murmur, brought out the oxen, and went to the 
woods. They had perfect confidence in her 
judgment and her management. While they 
were absent, their mother was busy in preparing 
an inviting supper for them upon their return. 
The drunken father soon retired. About mid- 
night the sons finished their task, and entering 
the house, found their mother ready to receive 
them with cheerfulness and smiles. A bright 
fire was blazing on the hearth. The room was 




THE SUPPER. 



110 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

warm and pleasant. With keen appetites and 
that cheerfulness of spirits which generally ac- 
companies the performance of duty, those chil- 
dren sat down with their much-loved parent to 
the repast she had provided, and soon after all 
were reposing in the quietude and the silence 
of sleep. 

Many a mother has thus been the guardian 
and the savior of her family. She has brought 
up her sons to industry, and her daughters to 
virtue. And in her old age she has reaped a 
rich reward for all her toil, in the affections and 
attentions of her grateful children. She has 
struggled, in tears and discouragement, for 
many weary years, till at last God has dispelled 
all the gloom, and filled her heart with joy in 
witnessing the blessed results of her fidelity. 
Be not, therefore, desponding. That which has 
once been done, may be done again. 

From what has been said in this chapter, it 
appears that self-control and resolution are the 
two all-important requisites in family govern- 
ment. With these two qualifications, which a 
person is inexcusable in not possessing, almost 
every other obstacle may be surmounted 
Without these, your toil and solicitude will, in 
all probability, be in vain. 

Your faithful exertions, attended with God's 



THE MOTHER S DIFFICULTIES. Ill 

ordinary blessing, will open to you daily new 
sources of enjoyment in the unfolding virtues 
and expanding faculties of your children. 
Your decisive government will, most undoubt- 
edly, be rewarded with the affection and re- 
spect of those whom you are training up to 
usefulness and happiness. And when old age 
comes, your children will welcome you to their 
homes, and rejoice to give you a seat by their 
fireside, and by unremitted attentions will do 
all in their power to prove how deeply they feel 
that debt of gratitude which never can be fully 
repaid. Such joys will obliterate the remem- 
brance of all present toils and sorrows. Let 
these hopes cheer you to go on rejoicing in the 
path of duty. 



CHAPTER V. 

FAULTS AND ERRORS. 

There are many faults in family government, 
which have been handed down from genera- 
tion to generation, and have become almost 
universally diffused. They are so general, and 
we have been so long accustomed to them, that 
their glaring impropriety escapes our notice. 
The increasing interest now felt in the subject 
of education, by leading parents to read and to 
think, has taught many to avoid those errors 
which still very generally prevail. There are 
many parents who have not facilities for ob- 
taining books upon this subject, and who have 
not been led to reflect very deeply upon their 
responsibilities. Some of these errors are such, 
that an apology seems almost necessary for 
cautioning mothers against them, since common 
sense so plainly condemns them. But let it be 
remembered, how large a portion of the moth- 
ers of our land are, by their situation, deprived 
of those sources of information and excite- 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 113 

ments to thought, which God has conferred 
upon others. 

1. Do not talk about children in their pres- 
ence. We are very apt to think that children 
do not understand what we say to one another, 
because they are unable to join in the conver- 
sation themselves. But a child's comprehen- 
sion of language is far in advance of his ability 
to use it. I have been much surprised at the 
result of experiments upon this subject. A lit- 
tle child creeping upon the floor, and who could 
not articulate a single word, was requested to 
carry a piece of paper across the room and put 
it in a chair. The child perfectly comprehended 
the direction, and crept across the room, and 
did as he was bidden. An experiment or two 
of this kind will satisfy any one how far a 
child's mind is in advance of his power to ex- 
press his ideas. And yet, when a child is three 
or four years old, parents will relate in their 
presence shrewd things which they have said 
and done ; sometimes even their acts of dis- 
obedience will be mentioned with a smile. The 
following conversation once passed between a 
lady and a mother, whose child, three years of 
age, was standing by her side. 

" How does little Charles do ? said the lady, 
" O," replied the mother, with a smile, " he is 

H 



114 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

pretty well, but he is the greatest rogue you 
ever saw : I can do nothing with him." 

" Why/' said the lady, " he does not look like 
a stubborn child." 

" No," the mother replied, " he has not a bad 
disposition, but," she continued, smiling, " he is 
so fond of mischief that I can never make him 
mind me. He knows that he must not touch 
the andirons, but just before you came in he 
went and put one of his fingers on the brass, 
and looked me directly in the face. I told him 
he must take off his hand ; and he put another 
finger on. I tried to look cross at him ; but he, 
instead of stopping, rubbed his whole hand over 
the brass, and then ran away, laughing as 
heartily as he could. He did it, I suppose, on 
purpose to plague me, he is such a rogue." 

We insert this rather undignified story, that 
the mothers who may read this chapter may 
know exactly what we mean by the caution we 
are urging. Now, to say nothing of that ma- 
ternal unfaithfulness which would permit such 
acts of disobedience, how ruinous upon the 
mind of the child must be the effect of hearing 
his conduct thus spoken of and applauded ! 
This perverse little fellow was more interested 
in the narration than either mother or visitor, 
and the impression produced upon his mind was 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 115 

stronger undoubtedly than upon theirs. The 
child was taught a lesson of disobedience, not 
soon to be forgotten. 

There are many little artifices which a child 
will practice, which are decidedly to be dis- 
countenanced, but which a parent nevertheless 
can scarce refrain from smiling at when they 
occur. These proofs of mental quickness and 
ingenuity are in some sense gratifying to pa- 
rental feelings. They give promise of a mind 
susceptible of a high degree of cultivation, if 
properly guided and restrained. And there are 
playful and affectionate feats of childhood which 
are pleasing on every account. They show 
good feelings, as well as an active intellect. Pa- 
rents will speak to one another of those innu- 
merable little occurrences which are daily grati- 
fying them. But if these things are mentioned 
in the presence of the child, and applauded, its 
little heart is puffed up with vanity. How 
slight a degree of flattery is sometimes sufficient 
to awaken emotions of the most disgusting self- 
conceit, even in individuals of mature minds ! 
How few persons are there who can bear praise ! 
Vanity is almost an universal sin. None are 
so low, and none are so high, as to be freed 
from its power. And can a child bear, unin- 
jured, that praise which has ruined so many 



116 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

men ? Here lies one cause of the self-conceit 
so often visible in the nursery. We flatter our 
children without being conscious that they are 
so greedily drinking in the flattery. We do 
not give them credit for the amount of under- 
standing which they actually possess. It is 
true, almost all children are regarded by their 
parents as unusually intelligent. This arises 
from the fact, that we are daily observing the 
unfoldings of the minds of the little ones who 
surround our firesides, while we have no op- 
portunity of noticing the mental developments 
of others. But notwithstanding all this strength 
of parental partiality, we ordinarily consider 
children far less intelligent than they in reality 
are ; and a mother will often talk as unguard- 
edly in the presence of her child, who is three 
or four years of age, as she would in the pres- 
ence of an infant of so many months. The 
necessity of caution upon this subject will be 
obvious to every parent upon a moment's re- 
flection. Let nothing be said in the hearing 
of a child that would tend to excite its vanity. 
Guard against the possibility of his supposing 
that he does and says remarkable things, and is 
superior to other children. 

But though a parent may restrain her own 
tongue, it is more difficult to restrain the 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 



117 



tongues of others. Many visitors make it a 
constant habit to flatter the children wherever 
they go. Regardless of the ruinous effects upon 
their tender and susceptible minds, they think 
only of pleasing the parents. Beautiful children 
are thus peculiarly exposed. How common is 
it for a child of handsome countenance to have 
a spoiled temper! This is so frequently the 
case, that many persons have supposed that 
" spoiled beauty" are words never to be separ- 
ated. I once knew a little boy, of unusually 
bright and animated countenance. Every one 
who entered the house, noticed the child, and 
spoke of his beauty. One day a gentleman 
called upon business, and being engaged in con- 
versation, did not 
pay that attention 
to the child to 
which he was 
accustomed, and 
which he now be- 
gan to expect as 
his due. The vain 
little fellow made 
many efforts to at- 
tract notice, but 
not succeeding, he 
at last placed him- self-conceit. 




118 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

self full in front of the gentleman, and asked, 
u Why don't you see how beautiful I be ?" The 
feeling, it is true, is not often so openly express- 
ed, but nothing is more common than for it to 
be excited in precisely this way. 

It is surely a duty to approve children when 
they do. right, and to disapprove when they do 
wrong. But great caution should be used to 
preserve a child from hearing any thing which 
will destroy that most lovely trait of character 
— an humble spirit. It is, on this account, often 
a misfortune to a child to be unusually hand- 
some or forward. It is so difficult to preserve 
it from the contaminations of flattery, that what 
might have been a great benefit, becomes a 
serious injury. 

2. Do not make exhibitions of your children's 
attainments. And here we must refer again to 
the danger of exciting vanity. There is no 
passion more universal than vanity, or with 
greater difficulty subdued. An eminent clergy- 
man was once leaving his pulpit, when one of 
his parishioners addressed him, highly commend- 
ing the sermon he had just uttered. " Be care- 
ful, my friend/' said the clergyman, " I carry a 
tinder-box in my bosom." And if the bosom 
of an aged man of piety and of prayer may be 
thus easily inflamed, must there not be great 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 110 

danger in showing off a, child to visitors, who 
will most certainly flatter its performance ? 
You have taught your daughter some interest- 
ing hymns. She is modest and unassuming, 
and repeats them with much propriety. A 
friend calls, and you request the child to repeat 
her hymns. She does it. Thus far there is, 
perhaps, no injury done. But as soon as she 
has finished the recitation, your friend begins 
to flatter the child. Soon another and another 
friend calls, and the scene is continually re- 
peated, till your daughter feels proud of her per- 
formance. She becomes indeed quite an ac- 
tress. And the^ hymn which was intended to 
lead her youthful heart to God does but fill that 
heart with pride. Must it not be so ? How 
can a child withstand such strong temptations? 
Parents may very properly show their chil- 
dren that they are gratified in witnessing their 
intellectual attainments. And this presents a 
motive sufficiently strong to stimulate them to 
action. But when they are exposed to the in- 
discriminate and injudicious flattery of any who 
may chance to call, it is not for a moment to 
be supposed that they will retain just views of 
themselves. It must however be allowed, that, 
with some children the danger is much greater 
than with others. Some need much encourage- 



120 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

ment, while others need continual restraint. 
Who has not noticed the thousand arts which 
a vain child will practice, simply to attract at- 
tention ? Who has not seen such a spoiled one 
take a book and read, occasionally casting a 
furtive glance from the page to the visitor, to 
see if the studious habit is observed ? And can 
such a child be safely exhibited to strangers ? 

It may, perhaps, at times, be an advantage to 
a modest child to repeat a hymn, or something 
of that nature, to a judicious friend. If your 
pastor feels that interest in children which he 
ought to cherish, he will regard all the little 
ones of his congregation with parentaraffection. 
He ought not to be considered as a stranger in 
the family. Children may appear before him 
with confidence and affection, and if he has the 
spirit of his Master, he will cautiously guard 
against flattery, and endeavor to improve the 
occasion by leading the mind to serious thoughts. 
But the practice of making a show of children, 
of exhibiting their little attainments to attract 
applause, is certainly reprehensible ; and it is, 
we fear, not only common, but increasing. The 
following remarks upon this subject are from 
the pen of an individual who combines much 
shrewdness of observation with extensive ex- 
perience. 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 121 

" I always felt pain for poor little things set 
up before company to repeat verses, or bits of 
plays, at six or eight years old. I have some- 
times not known which way to look, when a 
mother, whom I could not but respect on ac- 
count of her fondness for her child, has forced 
the feeble-voiced eighth wonder of the world to 
stand with its little hand stretched out, spouting 
the soliloquy of Hamlet, or some such thing. I 
do not know any thing much more distressing 
to the spectators than exhibitions of this sort. 
Upon these occasions no one knows what to 
say, or whither to direct his looks. If I had to 
declare, which, on the whole, have been the most 
disagreeable moments of my life, I verily believe 
that, after due consideration, I should fix upon 
those in which parents whom I have respected, 
have made me endure exhibitions like these; 
for this is your choice, to be insincere, or to 
give offense. The plaudits which the child re- 
ceives in such cases puff it up in its own 
thoughts, and send it out into the world stuffed 
with pride and insolence, which must and will 
be extracted from it by one means or another. 
Now parents have no right thus to indulge 
their own feelings at the risk of the happiness 
of their children." 

Scenes similar to those above described will 



122 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

at once occur to the recollection of every 
reader. And the fact that such are the feelings 
of many strangers, in general, is of itself amply 
sufficient to discountenance the practice. 

There are two extremes which it is necessary 
to avoid. The one is that of secluding children 
altogether from society ; the other is, of weary- 
ing our friends by their presence and their 
ceaseless talk. If we consider our children as 
troubles, to be kept out of the way whenever 
we wish for social enjoyment ; if the entrance 
of a few friends to pass the evening is the sig- 
nal for their immediate departure to another 
room, how can we expect them to improve, or 
to become acquainted with the proprieties of 
life ? They must listen to the conversation and 
observe the manners of their superiors, that 
their minds and their manners may be improved. 
Not long since I heard a gentleman speaking 
of an unusually interesting family that he had 
just visited. It was known that he was coming 
to pass the evening. As he entered the room 
he saw three little children sitting quietly and 
silently by the fire. The mother was sitting 
by the table with her sewing. The father was 
rising to receive him. The children remained 
for an hour or more, listening with interest to 
the conversation which passed between their 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 123 

parents and the gentleman. They made not 
the least interruption, but by their presence and 
cheerful looks contributed much to the enjoy- 
ment of the evening. At eight o'clock the 
mother said, " Children, it is eight." Without 
another word, they all rose and left the room. 
The mother soon followed, and after being ab- 
sent a few moments, returned. Now how much 
enjoyment is there in such a family as this! 
And how much improvement do the children 
derive from being accustomed to the society of 
their superiors ! In this way they are taught 
humility, for they see how much less they know 
than others. They gain information, and their 
minds are strengthened by the conversation 
they hear. Their manners are improved, for 
children learn more by example than precept. 
If you would enjoy these pleasures, and confer 
upon your children these benefits, it is indispen- 
sable that they be habitually well governed. 
Nothing can be more hopeless than to expect 
that children will conduct properly when com- 
pany is present, if at other times they are un- 
controlled. 

Some parents, feeling the importance that 
their children should enjoy good society, and at 
the same time having them under no restraint, 
deprive themselves and their visitors of all en- 



124 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



joyment, and their children of all benefit. We 
do not like, even in imagination, to encounter 
the deafening clamor of such a scene. Some 
are lolling about the stranger's chair; some 
crying ; some shouting. The mother is pulling 
at the gown of one and scolding at another, 




LAWLESSNESS. 



The visitor, distracted with the noise, endeavors 
in vain to engage in conversation. The time, 
and attention, and patience of the parents are 
absorbed by their lawless family. The visitor, 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 125 

after enduring the uproar for half an hour, is 
happy in making his escape. Where can there 
be pleasure, and where can there be profit in 
such a scene as this ? 

There are many advantages in encouraging 
an inquisitive spirit in a child. It has entered 
upon a world where every thing is new and as- 
tonishing. Of course it is hourly meeting with 
objects upon which it desires information. But 
sometimes when a child finds that his parents 
encourage him in asking questions, he begins 
to think that it is a very pretty thing. He will 
be incessantly presenting his inquiries. His 
motive will cease to be a gratification of a rea- 
sonable and commendable curiosity, and he will 
desire merely to display his skill, or to talk for 
the sake of talking. It is very necessary to re- 
strain children in this respect. Their motives 
are generally distinctly to be seen. And if the 
motive which prompts the question be improper, 
let the child receive marks of disapprobation* 
and not of approval. 

" Mother, what is the coffee-pot for ?" said 
a child of three years, at the breakfast table. 

" It is to put the coffee in," said the mother. 

" And why do you put the coffee in the cof- 
fee-pot ?" 



126 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

" Because it is more convenient to pour it 
out." 

" And what," said the child, hesitating and 
looking around the table to find some new ques- 
tion. " And what — are the cups for?' 

" They are to drink from." 

" And why do you drink out of the cups ?" 

In this manner the child, during the whole 
time allotted for the breakfast, incessantly 
asked his questions. The mother as continu- 
ally answered them. She had adopted the 
principle, that her child must always be en- 
couraged in asking questions. And by blindly 
and thoughtlessly following out this principle, 
she was puffing up his heart with vanity, and 
making him a most unendurable talker. The 
common sense principle, to guide us upon this 
subject, is obvious. If the motive be good, and 
the occasion suitable, let the child be encouraged 
in his inquiries. If otherwise, let him be dis- 
couraged. A child is sitting at the breakfast 
table with his father and mother. The mother 
lifts the top of the coffee-pot, and the child ob- 
serves the contents violently boiling. 

" Mother," says the little boy, " what makes 
the coffee bubble up so ?" 

Here the motive is good, and the occasion is 
proper. And one of the parents explains to 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 127 

the child the chemical process which we call 
the boiling. The parents have reason to be 
gratified at the observation of the child, and the 
explanation communicates to him valuable 
knowledge. But perhaps a stranger is present, 
with whom the father is engaged in interesting 
conversation. Under these circumstances, the 
child asks the same question. It is, however, 
now unseasonable. He ought to be silent when 
company is present. The mother accordingly 
replies, " My son, you should not interrupt your 
father. You must be perfectly silent, and listen 
to what he is saying." 

She does not, however, forget the question, 
but embraces some opportunity of again al- 
luding to it. She gives him an answer, and 
shows him that it is very impolite to interrupt 
the conversation of others, or to engross atten- 
tion when company is present. Much pleasure 
is destroyed, and much improvement prevented, 
in permitting the conversation of friends to be 
interrupted by the loquacity of children. 

Some parents, to avoid this inconvenience, 
immediately send their children from the room 
when visitors arrive. This is treating children 
with injustice, and the parents must reap the 
mortifying consequences in their uncultivated 
manners and uncultivated minds. Hence, in 



128 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

many gentlemen's families, you find awkward 
and clownish children. If children are banished 
from pleasing and intelligent society, they musl 
necessarily grow up rude and ignorant. The 
course to be pursued, therefore, is plain. They 
should be often present when friends visit you. 
But they should be taught to conduct properly 
— to sit in silence and listen. They should not 
speak unless spoken to. And above all, they 
should not be thrust forward upon the attention 
of visitors, to exhibit their attainments, and re- 
ceive flattery as profusely as your friends may 
be pleased to deal it out. 

3. Do not deceive children. Many are una- 
ware of the evil consequences which result 
from this common practice. A physician once 
called to extract a tooth from a child. The 
little boy seeing the formidable instruments, and 
anticipating the pain, was exceedingly fright- 
ened, and refused to open his mouth. After 
much fruitless solicitation, the physician said, 
" Perhaps there is no need of drawing it. Let 
rne rub it a little with my handkerchief, and it 
may be all that is necessary ; it will not hurt 
you in the least." The boy, trusting his word, 
opened his mouth. The physician, concealing 
his instrument in his handkerchief, seized hold 
of the tooth and wrenched it out. The parents 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 129 

highly applauded his artifice. But the man 
cheated the child. He abused his confidence; 
and he inflicted an injury upon his moral feel- 
ings not soon to be effaced. Will the child 
ever believe again what that physician may 
say ? And when told that it is wicked to say 
that which is not true, will not the remem- 
brance of the doctor's falsehood be fresh in his 
mind ? And while conscious that his parents 
approved of the deception, will he not feel it to 
be right for him to deceive, that he may accom- 
plish his desires ? 

The practice of deceiving children is attend- 
ed with the most ruinous consequences. It un- 
avoidably teaches the child to despise his pa- 
rents. After he has detected them in one 
falsehood, he will not believe them when they 
speak the truth. It destroys his tenderness of 
conscience ; and it teaches arts of deception. 
And what are the advantages ? Why, in one 
particular instance, the point is gained. 

Let compulsion be resorted to when neces- 
sary, but deception never. If a child can not 
place implicit confidence in his parent, most 
assuredly no confidence can be reposed in the 
child. Is it possible for a mother to practice 
arts of deception and falsehood, and at the same 
time her daughter be forming a character of 

i 



130 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

frankness and of truth ? Who can for a mo- 
ment suppose it ? We must be what we wish 
our children to be. They will form their char- 
acters from ours. 

A mother was once trying to persuade her 
little son to take some medicine. The medi- 
cine was very unpalatable, and she, to induce 
him to take it, declared it did not taste bad. 
He did not believe her. He knew, by sad ex- 
perience, that her word was not to be trusted. 
A gentleman and friend who was present, took 
the spoon, and said, 

" James, this is medicine, and it tastes very 
badly. I should not like to take it, but I would 
take it if it was necessary. You have courage 
enough to swallow something which does not 
taste good, have you not?" 

" Yes," said James, looking a little less sulky. 
" But that is very bad indeed." 

" I know it," said the gentleman, " I presume 
you never tasted any thing much worse." 'The 
gentleman then tasted the medicine himself, 
and said, "It is really very unpleasant. But 
now let us see if you have not resolution 
enough to take it, bad as it is." 

The boy hesitatingly took the spoon. 

" It is, really, rather bad," said the gentle- 
man ; " but the best way is to summon all your 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 131 

resolution, and down with it at once, like a 
man" 

James made, in reality, a great effort for a 
child, and swallowed the dose. And who will 
this child most respect, his deceitful mother, 01 
the honest-dealing stranger? And who will 
he hereafter most readily believe ? It ought, 
however, to be remarked, that had the child 
been properly governed, he would at once, and 
without a murmur, have taken what his mother 
presented. It is certainly, however, a suppos- 
able case, that the child might, after all the 
arguments of the gentleman, still have refused 
to do his duty. What course should then be 
pursued ? Resort to compulsion, but never to 
deceit. We can not deceive our children with- 
out seriously injuring them, and destroying our 
own influence. Frank and open dealing is the 
only safe policy in family government, as well 
as on the wider theater of life. The under- 
hand arts and cunning manceuvers of the in- 
triguer are sure, in the end, to promote his own 
overthrow. Be sincere and honest, and you 
are safe. The only sure way of securing bene- 
ficial results, is by virtuous and honorable 
means. 

4. Do not be continually finding fault with 
your children. It is at times necessary to cen- 



132 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

sure and to punish. But very much more may 
be done by encouraging children when they do 
well. Be therefore more careful to express 
your approbation of good conduct, than . your 
disapprobation of bad. Nothing can more dis- 
courage a child than a spirit of incessant fault- 
finding, on the part of its parent. And hardly 
any thing can exert a more injurious influence 
upon the disposition both of the parent and the 
child. There are two great motives influen- 
cing human actions ; hope and fear. Both of 
these are at times necessary. But w r ho would 
not prefer to have her child influenced to good 
conduct by the desire of pleasing, rather than 
by the fear of offending. If a mother never 
expresses her gratification when her children do 
well, and is always censuring them when she 
sees any thing amiss, they are discouraged and 
unhappy. They feel that it is useless to try to 
please. Their dispositions become hardened 
and soured by this ceaseless fretting ; and at 
last, finding that, whether they do well or ill, 
they are equally found fault with, they relin- 
quish all efforts to please, and become heedless 
of reproaches. 

But let a mother approve of her child's con- 
duct whenever she can. Let her show that his 
good behavior makes her sincerely happy. Let 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 133 

her reward him for his efforts to please, by- 
smiles and affection. In this way she will 
cherish in her child's heart some of the noblest 
and most desirable feelings of our nature. She 
will cultivate in him an amiable disposition and 
a cheerful spirit. Your child has been, during 
the day, very pleasant and obedient. Just be- 
fore putting him to sleep for the night, you take 
his hand and say, " My son, you have been a 
very good boy to-day. It makes me very 
happy to see you so kind and obedient. God 
loves children who are dutiful to their parents, 
and he promises to make them happy." This 
approbation from his mother is, to him, a great 
reward. And when, with a more than ordi- 
narily affectionate tone, you say, " Good night, 
my dear son," he leaves the room with his little 
heart full of feeling. And when he closes his 
eyes for sleep, he is happy, and resolves that he 
will always try to do his duty. 

Basil Hall thus describes the effects produced 
on board ship, by the different modes of gov- 
ernment adopted by different commanders. 

"Whenever one of these commanding offi- 
cers," speaking of a fault-finding captain, "came 
on board the ship, after an absence of a day or 
two, and likewise when he made his periodical 
round of the decks after breakfast, his constant 



134 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

habit was to cast his eye about him, in order to 
discover what was wrong ; to detect the small- 
est thing that was out of its place ; in a word,- 
to find as many grounds for censure as possible. 
This constituted, in his opinion, the best pre- 
ventive to neglect, on the part of those under 
his command ; and he acted in this crusty way 
on principle. The attention of the other offi- 
cer, on the contrary, appeared to be directed 
chiefly to those points which he could approve 
of. For instance, he would stop as he went 
along, from time to time, and say to the first 
lieutenant, ' Now, these ropes are very nicely 
arranged ; this mode of stowing the men's bags 
and mess kids is just as I wish to see it ;' while 
the officer first described would not only pass 
by these well-arranged things, which had cost 
hours of labor to put in order, quite unnoticed, 
but would not be easy till his eye had caught 
hold of some casual omission which afforded an 
opening for disapprobation. 

" One of these captains would remark to the 
first lieutenant, as he walked along, 4 How white 
and clean you have got the decks to-day ! I 
think you must have been at them all the morn- 
ing, to have got them into such order/ The 
other, in similar circumstances, but eager to 
find fault, would say, even if the decks were as 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 135 

white and clean as drifted snow, ' I wish you 
would teach these sweepers to clear away that 
bundle of shakings !' pointing to a bit of rope 
yarn not half an inch long, left under the truck 
of a gun. It seemed, in short, as if nothing 
was more vexatious to one of these officers, 
than to discover things so correct as to afford 
him no good opportunity for finding fault; 
while, to the other, the necessity of censuring 
really appeared a punishment to himself. 

" Under the one, accordingly, we all worked 
with cheerfulness, from a conviction that noth- 
ing we did in a proper way would miss appro- 
bation. 

" But our duty under the other, being per- 
formed in fear, seldom went on with much spir- 
it. We had no personal satisfaction in doing 
these things correctly, from the certainty of 
getting no commendation. 

" The great chance, also, of being censured, 
even in those cases where we had labored most 
industriously to merit approbation, broke the 
spring of all generous exertion, and by teaching 
us to anticipate blame as a matter of course, 
defeated the very purpose of punishment when 
it fell upon us. The case being quite hopeless, 
the chastisement seldom conduced either to the 
amendment of an offender, or to the prevention 



136 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



of offenses. But what seemed the oddest thing 
of all was, that these men were both as kind- 
hearted as could be ; or, if there were any dif- 
ference, the fault-finder was the better natured, 
and, in matters not professional, the more in- 
dulgent of the two. 

" The line of conduct I have described was 
purely a matter of official system, not at all of 
feeling. Yet, as it then appeared, and still ap- 
pears to me, nothing could be more completely 
erroneous than the snarling method of the one. 
or more decidedly calculated to do good than 
the approving style of the other. It has, in 
fact, always appeared to me an absurdity, to 
make any real distinction between public and 
private matters in these respects. 

" Nor is there the smallest reason why the 
same principle of civility, or consideration, or 
by whatever name that quality be called, by 
which the feelings of others are consulted, 
should not modify professional intercourse quite 
as much as it does that of the freest society, 
without any risk that the requisite strictness 
of discipline would be hurt by an attention to 
good manners. 

" The desire of discovering that things are 
right, and a sincere wish to express our appro- 
bation, are habits w T hich, in almost every situa- 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 137 

tion in life, have the best possible effects in 
practice. 

" They are vastly more agreeable certainly 
to the superior himself, whether he be the 
colonel of a regiment, the captain of a ship, or 
the head of a house ; for the mere act of ap- 
proving seldom fails to put a man's thoughts 
into that pleasant train which predisposes him 
to be habitually pleased, and this frame of mind 
alone, essentially helps the propagation of a 
similar cheerfulness among all those who are 
about him. It requires, indeed, but a very little 
experience of soldiers or sailors, children, ser- 
vants, or any other kind of dependents, or even 
of companions and superiors, to show that this 
good- humor, on the part of those whom we wish 
to influence, is the best possible coadjutor to 
our schemes of management, whatever these 
may be." 

The judicious bestowal of approbation is of 
the first importance in promoting obedience, 
and in cultivating in the bosom of your child 
affectionate and cheerful feelings. Let your 
smiles animate your boy's heart, and cheer him 
on in duty. When he returns from school, 
with his clothes clean and his countenance hap- 
py, reward him with the manifestation of a 
mother's love. This will be the strongest in- 



138 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

centive to neatness and care. An English gen- 
tleman used to encourage his little children to 
early rising, by calling the one who first made 
her appearance in the parlor in the morning, 
Lark. The early riser was addressed by that 
name during the day. This slight expression 
of parental approval was found sufficient to call 
up all the children to the early enjoyment of 
the morning air. A child often makes a very 
great effort to do something to merit a smile 
from its mother. And most bitter tears are 
frequently shed because parents do not suf- 
ficiently sympathize in these feelings. 

The enjoyment of many a social circle, and 
the disposition of many an affectionate child, 
are spoiled by unceasing complainings. Some 
persons get into such a habit of finding fault, 
that it becomes as natural to them as to breathe. 
Nothing pleases them. In every action, and in 
every event, they are searching for something 
to disapprove. Like venomous reptiles, they 
1 have the faculty of extracting poison from the 
choicest blessings. Children are, very much, 
creatures of sympathy. They form their char- 
acters from those around them. And we must 
cherish in our own bosoms those virtues we 
would foster in theirs. If we would give them 
calm and gentle and friendly feelings, we must 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 139 

first show them, by our own example, how val- 
uable those feelings are. 

5. Never punish by exciting imaginary fears. 
There is something very remarkable in the uni- 
versal prevalence of superstition. Hardly an 
individual is to be found, enlightened or unen- 
lightened, who is not, in a greater or less de- 
gree, under the influence of these irrational 
fears. There is, in the very nature of man, a 
strong susceptibility of impression upon this 
subject. A ghost story will be listened to with 
an intensity of interest which hardly any thing 
else can awaken. Persons having the care of 
children, not unfrequently take advantage of 
this, and endeavor to amuse them by relating 
these stories, or to govern them by exciting 
their fears. It surely is not necessary to argue 
the impropriety of such a course. Every one 
knows how ruinous must be the result. Few 
parents, however, practice the caution which 
is necessary to prevent others from filling the 
minds of their children with superstition. How 
often do we find persons who retain through life 
the influence which has thus been exerted upon 
them in childhood. It becomes to them a real 
calamity. Much watchfulness is required to 
preserve the mind from such injuries. 

There is a mode of punishment, not unfre- 



140 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

quent, which is very reprehensible. A child is 
shut up in the cellar, or in a dark closet. It is 
thus led to associate ideas of terror with dark- 
ness. This effect has sometimes been so pow- 
erful, that hardly any motive would induce a 
child to go alone into a dark room. And 
sometimes even they fear, after they have re- 
tired for sleep, to be left alone without a light. 
But there is no difficulty in training up children 
to be as fearless by night as by day. And you 
can find many who do not even dream of dan- 
ger in going anywhere about the house in the 
darkest night. If you would cultivate this 
state of mind in your children, it is necessary 
that you should preserve them from ideas of 
supernatural appearances, and should never ap- 
peal to imaginary fears. Train up your chil- 
dren to be virtuous and fearless. Moral cour- 
age is one of the surest safeguards of virtue. 

An English writer gives a most appalling ac- 
count of two instances in which fatal conse- 
quences attended the strong excitement of fear. 
Says he, " I knew in Philadelphia, as fine, and 
as sprightly, and as intelligent a child as ever 
was born, made an idiot for life, by being, when 
about three years old, shut into a dark closet by 
a maid-servant, in order to terrify it into silence. 
The thoughtless creature first menaced it with 



FAULTS AND ERRORS, 141 

sending it to 'the bad place ;' and at last to re- 
duce it to silence, put it into the closet, shut the 
door, and went out of the room. She went 
back in a few minutes, and found the child in a 
fit. It recovered from that, but was for life an 
idiot. When the parents, who had been out 
two days and two nights on a visit of pleasure, 
came home, they were told that the child had 
had a fit, but they were not told the cause. The 
girl, however, who was a neighbor's daughter, 
being on her death-bed about ten years after- 
ward, could not die in peace without sending 
for the mother of the child and asking forgive- 
ness of her. Thousands upon thousands of 
human beings have been deprived of their 
senses by these and similar means. 

" It is not long since that we read, in the news- 
papers, of a child being absolutely killed — the 
case occurred at Birmingham, I think,— -by be- 
ing thus frightened. The parents had gone out 
into what is called an evening party. The ser- 
vants, naturally enough, had their party at 
home ; and the mistress, who, by some unex- 
pected accident, had been brought home at an 
early hour, finding the parlor full of company, 
rah up stairs to find her child, which was about 
two or three years old. She found it with its 
eyes open, but fixed ; touching it, she found 



142 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

it inanimate. The doctor was sent for in vain : 
it was dead. The maid affected to know noth- 
ing of the cause ; but some one of the parties 
assembled discovered, pinned up to the cur- 
tains of the bed, a horrid figure, made up partly 
of a frightful mask ! This, as the wretched girl 
confessed, had been done to keep the child quiet 
while she was with her company below. When 
one reflects on the anguish that the poor little 
thing must have endured before the life was 
quite frightened out of it, one can find no terms 
sufficiently strong to express the abhorrence due 
to the perpetrator of this crime, which was, in 
fact, a cruel murder ; and, if it was beyond the 
reach of the law, it was so, because, as in the 
case of parricide, the law in making no pro- 
vision for wickedness so unnatural, has, out 
of respect to human nature, supposed such 
crimes to be impossible" 

I have in this chapter alluded to some of the 
most common and prominent faults in educa- 
tion. They can not all, however, be particu- 
larly mentioned. The faithful mother must 
have continually a watchful eye ; she must ob- 
serve the effect of her own practices. She 
must carefully search out every little defect and 
trifling error. We must think and observe for 
ourselves. It is vain to hope to make attain- 



FAULTS AND ERRORS. 143 

ment in any thing valuable without effort. The 
views of others may be of essential aid in laying 
down general principles, in exciting our own 
thoughts, and in stimulating us to resolution and 
fidelity. But after all, unless we are willing to 
think, ourselves ; to study the dispositions of 
our children ; to watch the influence of the va- 
rious motives which we present to their minds, 
many faults will pass undetected, and we shall 
lose many advantages that we might otherwise 
have obtained. 



CHAPTER VI. 

METHODS AND PLANS. 

In the government of a family, and in the 
moral and intellectual training of children, there 
is room for the exercise of a great deal of inge- 
nuity in the formation of plans for the accom- 
plishment of the objects intended, by means 
more or less indirect, but not the less efficient 
on that account. I will in this chapter describe 
some plans of this character by way of illustra- 
tion of my meaning. 

1. The Black Book. The following plan 
was once adopted by a gentleman, who was to 
be absent from home for a week or two, with 
his wife, leaving two or three children under 
the care of an aunt. The evening before they 
went, the gentleman made a small blank book 
with a thick paper cover. Upon the cover, he 
made a broad black stripe, and wrote the words 
black book in capitals. On the first leaf inside 
the book, he wrote the following : — 



METHODS AND PLANS. 145 



" When either of the children is guilty of any 
act of disobedience, neglect of duty, insubor- 
dination, or contention, or of any other offense, 
they are to make an entry of the case in this 
book, at Aunt Maria's direction. If they are 
ill-humored and sullen about it, then Aunt 
Maria is to make the entry herself, stating the 
reason why the guilty one did not do it. If, 
when I come home, I find this book empty, I 
shall fear that Aunt Maria has not been faithful." 

When the gentleman returned from his jour- 
ney, he found the following entries made by 
his children : — 

" To-day James had two recesses, and I was 
cross about it, and went down stairs before it 
was time and said it was not right that he 
should have two recesses and I only one. And 
I told Aunt Maria that he ought not to have 
had but one. Mary." 

"This morning when Aunt Maria was cor- 
recting my French, I played ; I laid down upon 
the sofa two or three times, and played with 
some pens and books, though she asked me not 
to do so, repeatedly. James." 

k 



146 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

" To-day when we were coming home from 
a visit, James and I had a difficulty. I told 
Aunt Maria something that I did not wish 
James to know, but he kept teasing me all the 
time about it ; so I kept telling him to keep 
still, and told him not to trouble me; and I felt 
very unpleasantly about it. Mary/' 

" Yesterday morning when I was getting 
ready to go to Mr. J/s to make a visit, I made 
Aunt Maria some difficulty. I kept calling her 
when she could not come, and made some dif- 
ficulty about my clothes and other things. 

" James." 

" This morning Mary came to my desk and 
took a slate-pencil out of it. I thought she 
was going to take it away to use, which I 
thought was wrong, so I told her to go and get 
her own, and not meddle with my things. 

" James." 

" This afternoon when Mary was swinging, 
standing up, I went and stood before her. 
When I did this, she said, ' Stay there, and 
you will get it presently.' When she came 
up to me I struck her pretty hard on her foot. 
Then she said, ' Oh, James ! oh, James !' Then 



METHODS AND PLANS. 147 

I stopped the swing, and she said that I almost 
pushed her out. James." 

" This morning when Aunt Maria had cor- 
rected my French, she told me to go to my les- 
sons, but I did not go. I said that I must put 
away a newspaper first, then she told me again 
to go, and I put down the newspaper and went, 
and sat down at my desk, but instead of study- 
ing, I began to tell Mary the French names of 
the days of the week. Then Aunt Maria told 
me to put it down in the black book for disobe- 
dience. JAMES. ,, 

" Just now r , when we were singing, I lent my 
book to Aunt Maria, and when I went to get it 
again, Mary took my place. When I came 
back I told her to let me have my place, but 
she told me she should keep it because she 
wanted to look over. Then I went and asked 
Aunt Maria if Mary must not let me have my 
place. At first she said yes, but afterward said 
that I must change places with her. Then I 
looked cross and would not sing. James." 

"Yesterday Mary was sitting in mother's 
low rocking-chair, and I took a rope and tied 
one of her arms up to the chair, and tied the 



148 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

other with a piece of white string to another 
part of the chair. Then Aunt Maria told me 
she wanted me to go away of an errand to get 
a dress. Then I asked Mary if she would un- 
tie herself while I was gone, but she did not an- 
swer, then I asked her again, but she did not an- 
swer, so I struck her. Then Aunt Maria told 
me that I must put it down in the black book. 

" James." 

"Just now when I had learned my Latin 
lesson I spoke to George, though it was study 
hours, (for our doors were open) to know how 
many sheets of paper a large fire-balloon, which 
they sent up last night at the Museum, was made 
of, but he did not hear me, so I asked him again. 
But before he could answer, Aunt Maria came 
up and told me to put it down here. James." 

" Yesterday when I was throwing sticks at 
John Harmer, in the street, Nancy told me not 
to do it, but I kept on throwing them, and told 
Nancy it would not be her fault if I hit him, 
and that I wished she would go home. An- 
other time I was rolling marbles on the kitchen- 
floor, and went to one side of the floor to see 
if I could make them go across. Nancy told 
me not to do so, but I told her that the kitchen 
was as much mine as hers, and that I thought 



METHODS AND PLANS. 140 

she was very cross. This morning Aunt Maria 
told me to put it down here ; and she told me 
that if I would ask Nancy to forgive me, I 
might put that down too, so I did. James." 

It is very desirable in all government to 
avoid the infliction of disgrace. When a child 
loses his self-respect, and feels dishonored, one 
of the strongest motives to correct conduct 
is lost. If a child can be induced good-na- 
turedly, and yet justly to pronounce sentence 
upon his own conduct, a very powerful influ- 
ence is brought to bear upon the mind, which 
is salutary in the highest degree. 

The plan above described, therefore, must 
have exerted a powerful, and at the same time 
a genial and kindly effect upon the hearts of 
the children who made the entries. 

2. Children's Journals. — There can be, in 
fact, no better plan, in family government, than 
to induce the children to keep a journal in which 
they shall record such things which they may do 
that are wrong, as the parent may think that 
this mode of discipline is adapted to remedy. 

For those children of a family who have suf- 
ficient age and maturity of mind, the plan of 
writing a full and regular journal of whatever 
interests and concerns them, and especially of 



150 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



all that relates to their intellectual and moral 
progress, may well be recommended. Such a 
journal may assume a great variety of forms*. 
It may be a religious diary. It may be a nar- 
rative of personal incidents. It may be a record 
of resolutions made, with an account subse- 
quently of the manner in which they have been 
kept. Or it may consist of all these com- „ 
bined. 

Even very young children can keep such 
journals, with a little help and encouragement 




WRITING JOURNALS. 



METHODS AND PLANS. 151 

from the mother. The work must however be 
managed in such a way as not to be a burden 
to them. They must not be expected to write 
too much, or too frequently, or at unseasonable 
times, when their minds are interested in other 
things. l1 

Older children who may attempt such an 
exercise will be much aided by reading the cel- 
ebrated essay of John Foster upon one writing 
memoirs of one's self. He recommends earn- 
estly to every one, who would become ac- 
quainted with his own heart, or who would at- 
tain to excellence of character, to review the 
path that he has trod in life's pilgrimage, and to 
record those influences which have guided him 
this way or that on his journey. No one can 
thus seriously retrace his steps, without being 
profoundly impressed with a sense of the dan- 
gers he has escaped, of the errors and sins into 
which he has fallen, and of the goodness of 
God, in rescuing him from so many perils. 
There can hardly be a more excellent, intellec- 
tual, and moral exercise, for otie who has at- 
tained maturity of mind, than thus to review 
the past. 

Louis Philippe, the late King of the French, 
was, in early life placed under the tuition of 
Madame de Genlis. She taught her pupil to 



152 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

examine his mind and regulate his character by 
keeping a very minute daily journal. This 
daily examination was conducted with great 
fidelity, as the following questions which he 
every evening answered will testify. 

1. Have I this day fulfilled all my duties 
toward God, my Creator, and prayed to Him 
with fervor and affection ? 

2. Have I listened with respect and attention 
to the instructions which have been given me, 
with regard to my Christian duties, and to the 
reading of works of piety ? 

3. Have I fulfilled all my duties this day 
toward those I ought to love most in the 
world, my father and my mother ? 

4. Have I behaved with mildness and kind- 
ness toward my sister and my brothers ? 

5. Have I been docile, grateful, and attentive 
to my teachers ? 

6. Have I been perfectly sincere to-day, 
disobeying no one, and speaking evil of no 
one ? 

7 Have 1 been as discreet, prudent, chari- 
table, modest, and courageous as may be ex- 
pected at my age ? 

8. Have I shown no proof of that weakness 



METHODS AND PLANS. 153 

and effeminacy which is so contemptible in a 
man ? 

9. Have I done all the good I could ? 

10. Have I shown all the marks of attention 
I ought to the persons absent or present, to 
whom I owe kindness, respect, and affection ? 

Every evening these questions were read to 
Louis Philippe by his teacher, and he returned 
an answer to each in his journal. This exer- 
cise was followed by a season of devotion, in 
which the young prince sought of God the par- 
don of his errors, and implored Divine grace 
and assistance for the future. 

This was the moral and intellectual training 
of a youth of sixteen. In the midst of the 
most voluptuous court of Europe, surrounded 
by the most dazzling allurements of gilded vice, 
with the notorious Duke of Orleans for his 
father, — young, sanguine, rich, and of exalted 
birth, protected by this discipline, he moved 
uncontaminated through all these dangerous 
scenes, and through all the temptations and vi- 
cissitudes of half a century, sustained a char- 
acter of the most irreproachable and the purest 
morality. 

The influence of such training must be 
powerful in the extreme. It is hardly possible 



154 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

for any young person thus to review at the 
close of the day his feelings and his conduct, 
especially if such a review be connected with 
confession and prayer, without becoming firmly 
established in correct principles. Punishment 
of any kind could hardly be required in a fam- 
ily where this course was faithfully pursued, by 
a judicious parent. 

It is said that the distinguished statesman, 
John Quincy Adams, amid all the pressure of 
one of the busiest lives through which man ever 
passed, found time during the whole period of 
his life, to keep a journal of all the important 
events of each day. This journal extended at 
last to upward of seventy thick quarto volumes. 
And it was probably to this, more than to any 
other cause, that he was indebted, for that al- 
most miraculous amount of information with 
which his mind was stored. 

3. Mother s Journals. Besides the journals 
which children themselves may write, the 
mother may derive great advantage sometimes 
from keeping a record of the progress of her 
children, and the general history of her family. 
I knew a mother who kept a constant journal 
of the progress of a beloved child from his ear- 
liest infancy. She carefully noted down her 



METHODS AND PLANS. 155 

more important acts of discipline, and observed 
the effect which her course produced upon the 
character of her child. With more solicitude 
and vigilance than the physician watches the 
effect of his prescriptions, did she watch the 
effect of her moral remedies and antidotes. His 
opening faculties, the developments of his affec- 
tions, his constitutional temperament, his promi- 
nent foibles, were made the subject of continued 
deliberation. They were committed to writing. 
Thus was this mother gaining information more 
rapidly than she could possibly gain it in any 
other way. She was accustoming her own 
mind to independent investigation and thought. 
Every day she was gaining knowledge of the 
effect of different motives upon the mind. 
And her influence over her child was every day 
increasing. Now this looks like maternal 
fidelity. It shows that the mother feels her 
need of information, and is anxious to acquire 
it. And it shows that she is willing to make 
intellectual effort herself, that she may be able 
to discharge her duties. 

Let any mother adopt such a course as this, 
and she must be most rapidly advancing in 
knowledge of the art of guiding the youthful 
mind. When her child first manifests irritation, 
let her write down the course she pursued to 



156 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

allay that irritation, and the success which at- 
tended her efforts. 

I will give a specimen of what I suppose 
would be the general character of such a jour- 
nal. 

"Jan. 10, 1833. To-day Charles became 
very angry with his sister, and pushed her 
down. As a punishment, 1 gave Mary an apple, 
and gave Charles none. But I thought Charles 
seemed, instead of being subdued, to be made 
envious by it, and more vexed with his sister 
than before. 

" 15. Mary to-day treated her brother un- 
kindly. I thought I would try a different course 
from that which I pursued with Charles. I 
called them both to me and said, 'Mary, God 
is displeased when he sees you indulging such 
feelings. And now how can you ask God to- 
night to take care of you, when you have been 
disobeying him to-day V Having talked with 
her a little while in this strain, she burst into 
tears, and asked her brother's forgiveness. 
They were soon playing again, as happy and as 
affectionate as ever. Before Mary went to 
sleep to-night she asked God's forgiveness, and 
promised that she would try never to be angry 
again. I can not but hope that an impression 



METHODS AND PLANS. 157 

was produced upon both their minds, which 
will not soon be forgotten. 

" 18. Charles to-day accidentally broke a 
valuable lamp. I fear that I unjustly blamed 
him. I must endeavor to have my feelings 
under more perfect control. 

"22. Mary is beginning to manifest improper 
fondness for dress. We have had much com- 
pany lately, and many have spoken to her about 
her beautiful gown. I must dress her in such 
a manner that she will not attract attention/' 

If some such course as this is pursued with 
perseverance, great skill will certainly be ac- 
quired in the art of governing. The mother 
must in some way or other direct the energies 
of her own mind to this subject. She must 
watch the peculiarities of the dispositions of her 
children. She must think and experiment for 
herself. 

After writing the above, the following com- 
munication was placed in my hand. As it was 
written by a mother who has long practiced 
upon the plan here recommended, and who, 
from her numerous cares might, with more pro- 
priety than almost any other parent, claim ex- 
emption from this duty, I with great pleasure 



158 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

insert it. It is the testimony of successful ex- 
periment. 

"Perhaps to some mothers it may at first 
appear impossible to carry on, with any degree 
of system or accuracy, any thing like a regular 
journal. It is true, that it would at first require 
some effort ; but if it would aid a mother in 
discharging her duties, where is the conscien- 
tious parent who would shrink from such an 
effort ? There are many benefits to be ex- 
pected from such a record, and it should per- 
haps be merely a record or note-book, that it 
may not encroach too much upon the time, 
especially in the case of those mothers who are 
obliged to employ a great proportion of their 
time in attending to the domestic duties of their 
families. 

" The first benefit resulting to the mother 
herself, would be the necessity of making some 
regular mental effort. A young mother, sur- 
rounded with family cares and duties, may feel 
at first as if she had no time for mental and in- 
tellectual labor ; but ten minutes every day de- 
voted to such a purpose^ would soon convince 
her that her other duties are probably the better 
performed for such a diary. Her duties to her 
children certainly will not be attended to with 



METHODS AND PLANS. 159 

less interest ; and she is gradually fitting her- 
self, by such discipline, however trifling, to be 
their teacher and guide. 

" The habit of keeping such memoranda also 
induces a mother to look with greater scrutiny 
into her own motives of action, into her prin- 
ciples of family government, and to govern her * 
own heart and conduct, and to cultivate more 
of a spirit which every mother needs — a spirit 
of prayer. 

" I am confident that, would mothers do 
this, mutual benefit and assistance would be 
given to that class of society to whom we must 
look for much of the future happiness of the 
community. And many a young parent would 
feel her hand strengthened and her heart light- 
ened in the cause of infant instruction. 

" The plan which I would suggest might be 
something like the following. 

" 1. Notice the earliest developments of tem- 
per in your child, and give the result of simple 
experiments made to subdue and conquer it. 

" 2. Remark what things peculiarly interest 
your child, and describe how you improve the 
opportunity of giving the child a moral and re- 
ligious lesson drawn from the object of interest. 
Show the effect and result of such an impres- 
sion. 



160 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

" Describe the course pursued to insure obe- 
dience. State the difficulties which vou en- 
countered, and how they were overcome. 

" 4. Describe the course of first religious in- 
struction, and what generally excites the strong- 
est interest in your child's mind. 

" In this way you may assist many a trem- 
bling mother in doing her duty ; and the result 
of an experience which perhaps it costs you but 
a few minutes of time to throw into a suitable 
form on paper, will, through the pages of some 
religious magazine, be circulated to the farthest 
parts of our country, and be exerting a power- 
ful influence on the hearts of mothers — an ines- 
timable one on the prospects, both for time and 
eternity, of the rising generation." 

The following is an extract from such a note- 
book, kept by a mother, and written without 
any reference to its insertion here. 

" Perhaps there are few dispositions which 
require more judicious, firm, and steady man- 
agement, in a child, than that which is often 
ranked under obstinacy or stubbornness. There 
is certainly no fault, which, if neglected, or al- 
lowed to gain strength, is more likely to bring 
down the heart of a parent with sorrow to the 



METHODS AND PLANS. 161 

grave, and to insure to the child a youth and 
manhood of wretchedness. It grows with the 
growth, and strengthens with the strength. 
Yet I have heard more than one mother say, 
? That child is very obstinate ; he will have his 
own way, and I suppose he is too young to un- 
derstand now, and frequent punishment only 
hardens the heart/ A child can not be too 
young too learn ; that is, as soon as a child 
begins to notice and watch the tones of the 
voice and the expression of the countenance, it 
is of an age to receive moral lessons. It is un- 
doubtedly true, that in administering punish- 
ment, care should be taken to do it in such a 
way that it shall tend to soften and subdue the 
heart, not irritate it. Yet the child must be 
made to feel that its spirit must yield to pater- 
nal authority. For instance, your child is play- 
ing with some forbidden article. You direct 
him, gently, but firmly, to put it down — he re- 
fuses. If you rise and take it by force, the 
child cries — he is vexed and disappointed. In- 
stead of this, if you say, pointing to the article, 
1 You must put it down/ and he refuses, a sec- 
ond command in the voice of seriousness and 
authority will seldom fail of insuring obedience. 
The child should then see an approving look or 
smile, and if taken up and amused by some- 



162 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

thing which you are sure will interest him, he 
will not forget the lesson, particularly if pains is 
taken to associate the forbidden thing with 
something which gives him a sensation of 
pleasure. Return to it and say, ' You must not 
touch that ; no, no/ and repeat it two or three 
times. Then give the child something which is 
not so familiar as to be worthless, and say, 
* You may have this.' A child often or twelve 
months may soon be taught, in this way, dis- 
tinct lessons of obedience. If it refuses to yield, 
some slight punishment should be inflicted, 
which shall connect the idea of bodily suffering 
or inconvenience; but care should be after- 
ward taken to interest the child, and your 
countenance should evince no anger or irrita- 
bility. 

" A child of less than three years was often 
troublesome to his mother, through an unyield- 
ing disposition which he manifested. He had 
been severely punished for his fault, though 
never unless the danger of omitting the punish- 
ment made the risk to the child's future happi- 
ness very great. Once, after a very decided 
case of obstinacy had occurred, it became ne- 
cessary to punish him. After it was over, he 
said he was not sorry for the fault. He had 
never been shut up in the dark, as a punish- 



METHODS AND PLANS. 163 

merit, because with very young children the 
consequences of such a measure are sometimes 
hazardous ; but it was known that in this case 
the child was not afraid; and I desired to 
know the effect of it, in connection with re- 
ligious considerations. The following experi- 
ment was tried, and the conversation is here 
precisely as it occurred. 

" Mother. I am sorry you are so naughty. I 
must put you into a dark closet, where nobody 
can see you. 

" Child. Speaking very deliberately, — I 
don't want to get up and be good. 

" I kept my word and put him in the closet, 
saying at the same time, ' When you are a good 
boy, you may call me, and I will open the door ; 
but till then you must be quiet, and not touch 
any thing/ He remained perfectly still more 
than ten minutes, then knocked loudly on the 
door. 

" Mother. Are you good now ? 

" Child. Not if I come out there. 

" Mother. What are you knocking for ? 

" Child. I want to get out. 

" Mother. If you are good, I will open the 
door; but you have been very naughty, and 
troubled me. Are you going to be good ? 



164 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

" Child. No ; I an't good and sorry — I don't 
want to come out. 

" Mother. I am very sorry that my little boy 
is naughty. He is in the closet, where it is 
\ very dark, and mother can not see him, but God 
can see him. God is displeased with you. I 
want you to think of that. Can you think of 
God, and ask him to take care of you, while 
you are so cross and ill-humored ? 

" He was still for about a minute, and then 
said, in a pleasant subdued tone, ' I am good 
now, mamma/ He came out, made every proper 
concession and acknowledgment, and then 
went to his play, as if nothing had occurred to 
disturb his tranquillity. I have not the least 
doubt that this occurrence will have a strong 
and lasting impression, and save a mother's 
heart many a pang in time to come, and pre- 
vent the necessity of severe punishment." 

There is an impression upon the minds of 
f many persons, that skill in governing must be 
instinctive; that it is an original and native 
talent, and not to be acquired by information or 
thought. But look at those parents who have 
been most successful in family government, and 
they will be found to be those who have most 
diligently and uniformly attended to the sub- 



METHODS AND PLANS. 165 

ject. You may go into the family of some man 
of celebrity, in one of the learned professions, 
and, as you look upon his lawless children, you 
are perhaps discouraged. You say, if this man, 
with his powerful and highly cultivated mind, 
can not succeed in family government, how 
can I expect success ? But a little observation 
will satisfy you that this man is giving his time 
and attention to other pursuits. He is neglect- 
ing his children, and they are forming precisely 
such characters as we should expect from the 
influences to which they are exposed. 

No course of procedure, without the blessing 
of God, will result in the piety of the child. 
But if we go on in our attempts to govern with- 
out system, or thought, or care, we shall un- 
doubtedly reap most bitter consequences. The 
mother must study her duty. She must care- 
fully observe the effect produced by her mode 
of discipline. There is but little advantage to 
be derived from books, unless we revolve their 
contents in our own minds. Others may sug- 
gest the most valuable ideas. But we must take 
those ideas and dwell upon them, and trace out 
their effects, and incorporate them into our own 
minds by associating them with others of our 
own. We must accustom ourselves to investi- 
gation and thought. The mother who will do 



166 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

this, will most certainly grow in wisdom. She 
will daily perceive that she is acquiring more 
facility in forming in her child the character 
she desires. And the increasing obedience and 
affection that she will receive, will be her con- 
stant reward. Care and labor are necessary 
in training up a family. But no other cares are 
rewarded with so rich a recompense ; no other 
labors insure such permanent and real enjoy- 
ment. You, O mothers, have immortal souls 
intrusted to your keeping. Their destiny is in 
a great degree in your hands. Your ignorance 
or unfaithfulness may be the means of sinking 
them to the world of woe. Your fidelity, by 
the blessing of God, may elevate them to the 
mansions of heaven. You and your children 
may soon be ranging with angel wings to realms 
of blest spirits, if, here, you are faithful in 
prayer and effort to train 'them up for heaven. 



CHAPTER VII. 

RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 

In the religious instruction of children the 
following important principles must be kept 
in mind : — 

1. Parents must make the religious train- 
ing of their children their own personal duty. 
Very great success has attended the efforts 
which have been made to collect children in 
Sabbath schools for religious instruction. Ma- 
ternal associations have been of inestimable 
value. But nothing can supersede the neces- 
sity of effort and instruction at the fire-side. 
The mother must collect her little flock around 
her and take upon herself the responsibility 
of their religious education. She may find en- 
joyment and improvement in associating with 
others for prayer ; and if she be faithful, she 
will see that her children are punctual attend- 
ants of the Sabbath school. But she will not 
regard these as exonorating herself in the least 



168 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

degree from responsibility. The influence of 
Sabbath-schools has undoubtedly tended to 
awaken more general interest at home in behalf 
of the spiritual welfare of children. Still there 
is danger that some parents may feel that the 
responsibility is transferred from themselves to 
the Sabbath-school teachers ; and that they ac- 
complish their duty in seeing that their children 
are punctually at school with their lessons well 
committed. It is, however, of the first im- 
portance that home should be the sanctuary of 
religious instruction. The mother must be the 
earnest and affectionate guide to the Savior. 
She must take her little ones by the hand and 
lead them in the paths of piety. 

No one else can possibly have the influence 
which a mother may possess, or the facilities 
which she enjoys. She knows the various 
dispositions of her children; their habits of 
thought ; their moods of mind. Thus can she 
adapt instruction to their wants. She alone 
can improve the numberless occurrences .which 
open the mind for instruction, and give it sus- 
ceptibility to religious impression. She is with 
them when they are in sickness or pain. She 
can take advantage of the calm of the morn- 
ing, and of the solemn stillness of the evening. 
In moments of sadness she can point their 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 169 

minds to brighter worlds, and to more satisfying 
joys. God has conferred upon the mother ad- 
vantages which no one else can possess. With 
these advantages he has connected responsibili- 
ties which can not be laid aside, or transferred 
to another. It is at home, therefore, and by 
the parents, that the great duty of religious ed- 
ucation must be chiefly performed. The quiet 
fireside is the most sacred sanctuary ; maternal 
affection is the most eloquent pleader, and an 
obedient child is the most promising subject of 
religious impressions. Let mothers feel this as 
they ought, and they will seldom see their chil- 
dren leave the paternal roof with their hearts 
unfortified with Christian principles and sincere 
piety. 

2. Parents must have deep devotional feel- 
ings themselves. It is certainly vain to hope 
that you can induce your children to fix their 
affections upon another world, while yours are 
fixed upon this. Your example in such a case 
will counteract all the influence of your instruc- 
tions. Unless Christian feelings animate your 
heart, it is folly to expect that you can instill 
those principles into the hearts of your children. 
They will imitate your example. They confide 
in your guidance. That little child which God 
has given you, and which is so happy in your 



170 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

————-—'-— — ■ " ■ ■ ' ■ ■ i i 

affection, feels safe in cherishing those feelings 
which it sees that you are cherishing. And, 
mother! can you look upon your confiding 
child and witness all her fond endearments and 
warm embraces, and not feel remorse in the 
consciousness that your example is leading her 
away from God, and consigning her to cease- 
less sorrow ? 

You love your child. Your child loves you, 
and can not dream that you are abusing its con- 
fidence, and leading it in the paths of sin and 
destruction. How would it be shocked in be- 
ing told that its mother is the cruel betrayer of 
its eternal happiness ! You are wedded to the 
world. You have not given your heart to God. 
Not content with being the destroyer of your 
own soul, you must carry with you to the world 
of woe, the child who is loving you as its mother 
and its friend. O there is an aggravation of 
cruelty in this which can not be described. 
One would think that every smile which you 
'see upon the face of your child would disturb 
your peace; that every proof of its affection 
would pierce your heart ; that remorse would 
keep you awake at midnight, and embitter every 
hour. The murderer of the body can scarce 
withstand the stings of conscience. But, O 
unchristian mother ! you are the destroyer of 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 171 

the soul. And of whose soul ? The soul of 
your own confiding child. 

We can not speak less plainly on this topic. 
We plead the unparalleled wrongs of children, 
betrayed by a mother's smile and a mother's 
kiss. Satan led Adam from Paradise. Judas 
betrayed his Master. But here we see a mother 
leading her child, her own immortal child, far 
from God and peace, to the rebellion of world- 
liness and the storms of retribution. That little 
child following in your footsteps, is the heir of 
eternity. It is to survive the lapse of all com- 
ing years ; to emerge from the corruptions of 
the grave ; to expand in spiritual existence, 
soaring in the angel's lofty flight, or groping in 
the demon's gloom. Thou, O mother ! art its 
guide to immortality ; to heaven's green pas- 
tures, or to the dreary wastes of despair. If 
you go on in impenitence and sin, your child, in 
all probability, will go with you. 

We have heard of a child, upon her dying 
bed, raising her eyes to her parents and ex- 
claiming, in bitterness of spirit, " O my parents ! 
you never told me of death, or urged me to pre- 
pare for it ; and now," said she, bursting into 
an agony of tears, " I am dying, and my soul is 
lost." She died. Her sun went down in dark- 
ness. What were the feelings of those parents ! 



172 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

What agony must have rent their bosoms! How 
must the specter of their ruined daughter have 
pursued them in all the employments of the day, 
and disturbed their slumbers by night. 

Remember that though you should be separ- 
ated from your children by death, you must 
meet them again. The trump of judgment will 
summon you to the bar of Christ. How fruit- 
less would be the attempt to describe your feel- 
ings there, if it should prove that you had been 
their destroyer. 

" That awful day will surely come ; 
The appointed hour makes haste." 

Death is succeeded by judgment, and judgment 
by eternity. If you are the destroyer of your 
child, through eternity you must bear its re- 
proaches. You must gaze upon the wreck of 
its immortal spirit, while conscience says that, 
if you had been faithful, yourself and yourohild 
might have been reposing in heaven. 

Think not you can go in one path, and in- 
duce your child to walk in another. You 
must not only " point to heaven/' but " lead the 
way." The first thing to be done, is for a 
mother to give her own heart to God. Become 
a Christian yourself, and then you may hope 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 173 

for God's blessing upon your efforts to lead your 
child to the Savior. We do entreat every 
mother who reads these pages, as she values her 
own happiness and the happiness of her chil- 
dren, immediately to surrender her heart to 
God. Atoning blood has removed every diffi- 
culty from the way. The Holy Spirit is ready, 
in answer to your prayers, to grant you all 
needful assistance. Every hour that you neg- 
lect this duty, you are leading your children 
farther from God, and rendering the prospect 
of their return more hopeless. 

It is in vain to expect that you can do any 
thing effectual to win the soul of your child to 
God, without possessing sincere piety yourself. 
The mother who endeavors to impress her chil- 
dren with a feeling of gratitude to God, be- 
cause she coldly thinks it her duty, will fail. 
Instead of gratitude, she will excite only weari- 
ness and loathing. But if the feeling itself 
glows in her heart, it will readily kindle up in 
theirs. 

Perhaps some of the parents who may read a 
this volume are unreconciled to God themselves. 
They have children whom they are commanded 
to bring up to piety. If sincere and devoted 
piety in the parent is an indispensable requisite, 
what shall they do ? It is a hard question — a 



174 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

very hard case. An individual is placed in this 
world of probation, and God says to him or to 
her, " Come, and be mine, and in a few years I 
will call you to a home of perpetual peace and 
happiness." The beings thus invited hesitate, — 
look upon the world — upon heaven, — linger a 
little, and then decide against God, and begin 
to walk deliberately on in the downward road. 
They have proceeded for some distance on this 
awful descent, when a helpless dependent one 
is committed to their care. They take him by 
the hand, and lead him on. He knows not 
whither he is going. He loves his parents — 
confides in them — and believes fully that they 
can not lead him into any danger. He clings, 
therefore, closely to them, and walks heedlessly 
on. But the parents feel not entirety at ease ; 
a mother can not, under such circumstances, 
if she at all understands the case. They ac- 
cordingly hesitate a moment in their course, 
and then try to send back their child. They 
give it religious instruction — they teach it the 
Bible, and send it to the Sabbath-school, in 
hopes that it will be prevailed upon to return, 
while they go forward in the road to ruin. 
What madness ! Seek God yourself, and your 
child may perhaps accompany you. But you 
can not expect that he will enter the " strait 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 175 

gate," while you are going on in the broad 
way. 

3. Present religion in a pleasant aspect 
There is no real enjoyment without piety. 
The tendency of religion is to make us happy 
here and hereafter ; to divest the mind of gloom, 
and fill it with joy. Many parents err in this 
respect. They dwell too much upon the ter- 
rors of the law. They speak with countenances 
saddened and gloomy. Religion becomes to 
the child an unwelcome topic, and is regarded 
as destructive of happiness. The idea of God 
is associated with gloom and terror. Many pa- 
rents have, in their latter years, become con- 
vinced of the injudiciousness of the course that 
they have pursued in this respect, — finding that 
they have so connected religious considerations 
with melancholy countenances and mournful 
tones of voice, as to cause the subject to be 
unnecessarily repugnant. 

We may, indeed, err upon the other extreme. 
The nature of sin, and the justice of God, and 
the awful penalty of his law, should be dis- 
tinctly exhibited. The child should be taught 
to regard God as a being who, while he loves 
his creatures, can not look upon sin but with 
abhorrence. If we speak to children simply 
of the Creator's goodness, as manifested in the 



176 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

■- 

favors we are daily receiving, an erroneous im- 
pression of God's character will be conveyed. 
It is to be feared that many deceive themselves 
in thinking that they love God. They have in 
their minds a poetic idea of an amiable and 
sentimental being, whose character is composed 
of fondness and indulgence. Such persons are 
as far from worshiping the true God, as is the 
Indian devotee or the sensual Moslem. God 
must be represented as he has exhibited him- 
self to us in the Bible and in the works of na- 
ture. He is a God of mercy and of justice. 
He is a God of love ; and he is also a consum- 
ing fire. He is to be regarded with our warm- 
est affection, and also with reverence and godly 
fear. Let, therefore, children distinctly under- 
stand that sin can not pass unpunished. But 
they should also understand that judgment is 
God's strange work. Ordinarily speak of his 
goodness. Show his readiness to forgive. Ex- 
cite the gratitude of the child by speaking of the 
joys of heaven. Thus let the duties of religion 
ever be connected with feelings of enjoyment 
and images of happiness, that the child may 
perceive that gloom and sorrow are connected 
only with disobedience and irreligion. There 
is enough in the promised joys of heaven to 
rouse a child's most animated feelings. This 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 177 

subject has more to cheer the youthful heart 
than any other which can be presented. Ap- 
peal to gratitude. Excite hope. Speak of the 
promised reward. Thus may you most reason- 
ably hope to lead your child to love its Maker, 
and to live for heaven. Reserve the terrors 
of the law for solemn occasions, when you may 
produce a deep and abiding impression. If you 
are continually introducing these motives, the 
mind becomes hardened against their influence ; 
religion becomes a disagreeable topic, and the 
inveteracy of sin is confirmed. 

Besides its influence upon the minds of our 
children, the effect upon our own minds of 
taking cheerful views of the providence and 
government of God will be most salutary. We 
must at all times remember that promotion of 
happiness, is the great object which God has 
in view in all his operations. For this he made 
men free; for this he gave his law. Every 
sorrow which is sent to the human heart is sent 
in love, to promote real and permanent enjoy- 
ment. God never willingly afflicts. When 
the heart is crushed with the heaviest weight 
of suffering, the voice of God declares, that 
this suffering is the means which he is using, 
to banish sorrow forever, and to fill the heart 
with joy. Yes! God loves happiness, and is 



178 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

employed at all times and in every part of the 
universe, in adopting those plans which to him 
seem most effectual for the fulfillment of his 
benevolent designs. 

4. Improve appropriate occasions. We all 
know that with every child there are times 
when w f e find in them a peculiar tenderness of 
conscience and susceptibility of impression. 
Changes of mood in fact come over the minds 
of all, and sometimes from unaccountable 
causes. One day the Christian will feel a 
warmth of devotional feeling and elevation of 
spiritual enjoyment, which the next day he in 
vain endeavors to attain. The man whose 
affections are fixed upon the world, at one time 
will be almost satisfied with the pleasures that 
he is gathering. The world looks bright; hope 
is animated ; and he rushes on with new vigor 
in his delusive pursuits. The next day all his 
objects of desire appear like perfect shadows. 
He feels the heartlessness of his pleasures ; his 
spirit is sad within him ; and he is almost re- 
solved to be a Christian. With these changes 
nearly all are familiar. Sometimes they may 
be accounted for from known external causes. 
At other times the causes elude our search. 

A mother should ever be watchful to improve 
such occasions. When she sees her child with 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 179 

an unusually tender spirit, with a pensive coun- 
tenance and subdued feelings — let her then 
look to God in fervent prayer, and with all the 
persuasions of a mother's love endeavor to 
guide her child to the Savior. When the mind 
is in such a state as this, it is prepared for re- 
ligious instruction. It then can be made to 
feel how heartless are all joys but those of piety. 
Its hold upon the world is loosened, and it may 
more easily be led to wander in those illimit- 
able regions where it may hereafter find its 
home. O how sweet a pleasure it is to present 
the joys of religion to a child whose feelings 
are thus chastened ; to behold the tear of feel- 
ing moistening its eye ; to see its little bosom 
heaving with the new emotions which are 
rising there! If there be a joy on earth, it 
is to be found in such a scene as this. The 
happy mother thus guiding the young immortal 
to its heavenly home, experiences a rapture of 
feeling which the world knoweth not of. Such 
occasions are not unfrequently arising, and the 
mother should endeavor always to have her 
heart warm with love to Christ, that in such 
an hour she may communicate the warmth of 
this affection to the bosom of her child. 

There are certain seasons also which are 
peculiarly appropriate for guiding the thoughts 



180 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

to heaven. Our feelings vary with scenes 
around us. Upon some dark and tempestuous 
night you lead your little son to his chamber. 
The rain beats violently upon the windows. 
The wind whistles around the corners of the 
dwelling. All without is darkness and gloom. 
The mind of the child is necessarily affected by 
this rage of the elements. You embrace the 
opportunity to inculcate a lesson of trust in God. 
" My son," you say, " it is God who causes this 
wind to blow, and the rain to fall. Neither 
vour father nor I can make the storm cease, 
or increase its violence. If God wished to do 
so, he could cause the wind to blow with such 
fury as to beat in all the windows and destroy 
the house. But God will take care of you, my 
son, if you sincerely ask him. No one else can 
take care of you. I hope that you will pray 
that God will protect you, and your father, and 
me, to-night. When God commands, the storm 
will cease. The clouds will disappear ; all will 
be calm. And the bright moon and twinkling 
stars will shine out again/' 

In some such manner as this the child may 
be taught his entire dependence upon God. 
And under such instructions he can not fail of 
obtaining a deep impression of the power of his 
Maker. You may say that God is omnipotent, 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 181 

and it will produce but a feeble impression. 
But point to some actual exhibition of God's 
power, and the attention is arrested, and the 
truth is felt. When the mother leaves the 
room, and her son remains alone and in'dark- 
ness, listening to the roar of the storm, will 
not his mind be expanded with new ideas 
of the greatness and the power of his Ma- 
ker? Will he not feel that it is a fearful 
thing to offend such a being ? And if he has 
been rightly instructed to place his trust in 
God, the agitation of the elements will not 
trouble the serenity of his heart. He will feel 
that with God for his protector, he need fear 
no evil. Some such simple occurrence as 
this may often be improved to produce an im- 
pression which never can be forgotten. Such 
thoughts as these, introduced to the mind of a 
child, will enlarge its capacities, give it maturi- 
ty, lead it to reflection, and, by the blessing of 
God, promote its eternal well-being. One such 
transient incident has a greater effect than hours 
of ordinary religious conversation. 

One of the most important duties of the mother 
is to watch for such occasions and diligently to 
improve them. Any parent who is faithful will 
find innumerable opportunities which will ena- 
ble her to come into almost immediate contact 



182 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

with the heart of her child. The hour of sick- 
ness comes. Your little daughter is feverish 
and restless upon her pillow. You bathe her 
burning brow and moisten her parched tongue, 
and she hears your prayer that she may be re- 
stored to health. At length the fever subsides. 
She awakes from refreshing sleep, relieved from 
pain. You tell her then, that if God had not 
interposed, her sickness would have increased 
till she had died. By pointing her attention to 
this one act of kindness in God, which she can 
see and feel, you may excite emotions of sin- 
cere gratitude. You may thus lead her to real 
grief that she should ever disobey her heavenly 
Father. 

A child in the neighborhood dies. Your 
daughter accompanies you to the funeral. She 
looks upon the lifeless corpse of her little com- 
panion. And shall a mother neglect such an 
opportunity to teach her child the meaning of 
death ? When your daughter retires to sleep 
at night, she will most certainly think of her 
friend who has died. As you speak to her of 
the eternal world to which her friend has gone 
— of the judgment-seat of Christ — of the new 
scenes of joy or woe upon which she has en- 
tered, will not her youthful heart feel ? And 
will not tears of sympathy fill her eyes ? And 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 183 

as you tell your daughter that she too soon 
must die ; leave all her friends ; appear before 
Christ to be judged ; and enter upon eternal ex- 
istence ; will not the occurrence of the day give 
a reality and an effect to your remarks which 
will long be remembered ? There are few chil- 
dren who can resist such appeals. The Savior, 
who took little children in his arms and blessed 
them, will not despise this day of small things, 
but will cherish the feelings thus excited, and 
strengthen the feeble resolve. We have every 
encouragement to believe that God, who is more 
ready to give his Holy Spirit to them that ask 
him, than a mother to feed her hungry child, 
will accompany these efforts with his blessing. 

A father once led his little daughter into the 
graveyard, to show her the grave of a play- 
mate, who, a few days before, had been con- 
signed to her cold and narrow bed. The little 
girl looked for some moments in silence and 
sadness upon the fresh mound, and then looking 
up, said, " Papa, I now know what is meant by 
the hymn, 

* I, in the burying-place, may see, 
Graves shorter there than I.' 

" My grave would be longer than this." This 
dear little child now lies by the side of that 



184 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



grave. But her parents can smile through their 
tears, as they believe that her spirit is in 
heaven. It is by introducing children to such 
scenes, and seizing upon such occasions, that 
we may most successfully inculcate lessons of 
piety. One such incident enters more deeply 
into the heart than volumes of ordinary conver- 
sation. 

You are perhaps riding with your son. It is 
a lovely summer's morning. The fields lie 
spread before you in beauty. The song of the 




THE VIEW, 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 185 

bird is heard. All nature seems uttering a 
voice of gladness. As you ascend some emi- 
nence which gives you a commanding view of 
all the varied beauties of the scene ; of hill and 
valley, rivulet and forest, of verdant pastures 
and lowing herds, can you fail to point the at- 
tention of vour son to these beauties, and from 
them to lead his mind to Him whose word 
called them all into being ? May you not thus 
most effectually carry his thoughts away to 
heaven ? May you not lead his mind to the 
green pastures and the still waters, where there 
is sweet repose forever ? May you not intro- 
duce him to that kind Shepherd, who there 
protects his flock, gathering his lambs in his 
arms, and folding them in his bosom ? May not 
a mother's or a father's tongue here plead with 
an eloquence unknown in the pulpit ? 

By carefully improving such occasions as 
these, you may produce an impression upon the 
mind, which all future years can not remove. 
You may so intimately connect devotional 
feelings with the ever-varying events and 
changing scenes of life, that every day's occur- 
rences will lead the thoughts of your child to 
God. The raging storm ; the hour of sickness ; 
the funeral procession ; the tolling bell, will, in 
all after-life, carry back his thoughts to a 



186 THE MOTHER AT HOiME. 

mother's instructions and prayers. Should 
your son hereafter be a wanderer from home, 
as he stands upon the Alps, or rides upon the 
ocean, his mind will involuntarily be carried to 
Him who rules the waters and who built the 
hills. With all those occasions then, which 
produce so vivid an effect upon the mind, en- 
deavor to connect views of God and heaven. 

I can never forget the impression produced 
upon my own mind by a very simple remark, 
which, under ordinary circumstances, would 
not have been remembered an hour. It affords 
so good an illustration of the principle which 
we are now considering, as to overcome the re- 
luctance which I feel in appealing to personal 
experience. One day, in the very early stages 
of my childhood, my father gave me a little ball 
covered with leather, such as boys usually play 
with. Saturday morning, while playing with 
it at school, it was accidentally thrown over 
the fence and lost. We searched for it a long 
time in vain. The loss to me was as severe 
as it would be for a man to part with half his 
fortune. I went home and unbosomed my 
grief to my mother. She endeavored to console 
me, but with what effect I can not now remem- 
ber. The next day was the Sabbath. I pass- 
ed the day with more than ordinary propriety 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 



187 




MY LITTiE CHAIR. 



My customary Sabbath hymn was perfectly 
committed. Seat- 
ed in my little 
chair by the fire, 
I passed a quiet 
and happy day in 
reading, and in the 
various duties ap- 
propriate to holy 
time. My conduct 
was such as to 
draw expressions 
of approbation 
from my parents, 
as with a peaceful 

heart I bade them good night, to retire to rest 
The next day, as usual, I went to school. The 
lost ball occupied my mind as I walked along. 
Upon climbing over the fence into the field 
where I had so long and so fruitlessly searched 
on the preceding Saturday, almost the first ob- 
ject upon which my eye fell was the ball par- 
tially concealed by a stone. Child as I was, 
m y j°y was ver y great. At noon I ran hastily 
home to inform my mother, knowing that she 
would rejoice with me over my recovered treas- 
ure. After sympathizing with me in my child- 
ish happiness, she remarked that Sir Matthew 



188 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

Hale had said that he never passed the Sabbath 
well without being prospered the succeeding 
week. " You remember, my son," she contin- 
ued, " that you were a good boy yesterday. 
This shows you, that if you would be happy 
and prosperous, you must remember the Sab- 
bath day, and keep it holy." Whether this re- 
mark be without exception true, it is not in 
place now to inquire. That it generally is true, 
but few will doubt. But the remark in the 
connection in which it was made, produced an 
impression upon my mind which will never be 
effaced. All the other events of that early pe- 
riod have long since perished from my memo- 
ry ; but this remains fresh and prominent. Of- 
ten has it led me to the scrupulous observance 
of the Sabbath — even to the present day I can 
distinctly perceive its influence. The connec- 
tion in my mind between God's blessing and 
the observance of the Sabbath is so intimate 
that scarcely does a Sabbath morning arrive 
in which it is not involuntarily suggested. 
Probably every reader can recall to mind some 
similar occurrence which has fixed an indelible 
impression upon his mind. If a mother will be 
ever vigilant to improve such opportunities, 
she will make her instructions far more effect- 
ive than they otherwise would be, and alto- 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 189 

gether avoid the danger of making religion a 
wearisome and unpleasant topic. 

There is hardly any person so reckless of 
eternity, so opposed to piety, who will not at 
times listen to religious conversation. A Chris- 
tian gentleman was once a passenger on board 
a vessel where his ears were frequently pained 
by the profane language of a rude and boister- 
ous cabin-boy. He resolved to watch for some 
opportunity to converse with him. One eve- 
ning the gentleman was lying, wrapped in his 
cloak, upon the quarter-deck, with a coil of 
ropes for his pillow, enjoying the beauties of 
ocean scenery. A gentle breeze was swelling 
the sails and bearing the ship rapidly over the 
undulating waters. The waves were glittering 
with their phosphorescent fires, and reflected 
from innumerable points the rays of the moon. 
Not a cloud obscured the thousands of lights 
which were hung out in " nature's grand ro- 
tunda." The cabin-boy happened to be em- 
ployed in adjusting some ropes near the place 
where the gentleman was reclining in the rich 
enjoyment of his wandering thoughts. A few 
words of conversation first passed between 
them, upon some ordinary topic. The atten- 
tion of the boy was then, by an easy transition, 
directed to the stars. He manifested increas- 



190 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

ing interest, as some simple but striking re- 
marks were made upon the facts which as- 
tronomy has taught us. From this the mind 
of the boy was led to heaven. He stood gazing 
upon the stars, as the gentleman spake of the 
world of glory and the mansions which Christ 
has gone to prepare. He listened with subdued 
feelings and breathless attention, as the con- 
versation unfolded to him the awful scene of 
judgment. By this time his mind was prepared 
for direct allusion to his own sins. He was 
attentive and respectful, while he was kindly 
but most earnestly entreated to prepare to meet 
Christ in judgment. The effect produced upon 
the mind of this wicked lad was evidently most 
powerful. Whether it were lasting or not, the 
gentleman had no opportunity to ascertain. 
But by taking advantage of the stillness of the 
evening, and the impressiveness of the scene, 
the turbulent spirit of that boy was, for the 
time at least, quelled. Religious instruction 
was communicated to his willing mind. And 
probably he will often, while a wanderer upon 
the ocean, gaze upon the stars in his midnight 
watches, and think of judgment and of heaven. 
How often can a mother seize upon some 
similar occasion, and instruct, while at the same 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 191 

time she most deeply interests and most effec- 
tually impresses the mind of her child ! 

5. Avoid introducing religious subjects upon 
inappropriate occasions. There are times 
when serious injury is done by urging the claims 
of religion. Your child is angry. His flushed 
cheek and violent motions show the sinful irri- 
tation of his mind. Shall the mother now con- 
verse with him upon the wickedness of these 
feelings and God's displeasure ? No ! It is 
unseasonable. It would be as unavailing as to 
converse with a madman, or one intoxicated. 
Punish him for his irritation in some way which 
will soothe his feelings and lead him to reflec- 
tion. But wait till these passions have sub- 
sided before you attempt to reason with him 
upon their impropriety, and to lead him to 
evangelical repentance. Kneel by his bedside 
in the silence of his chamber, and in the pensive 
hour of evening. When his mind is calm, and 
passion is not triumphing over reason, he will 
hear you, and may be melted to contrition. 
When Peter denied his Master, he did it with 
cursing and swearing. But when his fears had 
subsided, and the hour of reflection came, with 
a sad heart he entered the hall of Pilate. Then 
did a single glance from the Savior pierce his 
heart, " and he went out and wept bitterly." 



192 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

A child is highly excited with pleasurable 
emotions. His attention is so highly engrossed, 
by the immediate object of his enjoyment, that 
it is almost impossible to draw his thoughts to 
any other subject. If, under these circum- 
stances, an effort is made to convince him of 
the uncertainty of human enjoyments, of his 
own sinfulness, of the need of a Savior, the ef- 
fort will not only, in all probability, be unavail- 
ing, but the subject will be so unwelcome as to 
excite disgust. There are times when the mind 
is prepared with gratitude to receive religious 
instruction. Let such occasions be improved. 
There are others when the mind is so manifestly 
engrossed in one all-absorbing subject, that it is 
in vain to present any other. If you would not 
connect religion with unpleasant associations, 
and excite repugnance, do not on such occa- 
sions obtrude this subject. 

If a gunner should enter a forest and walk 
along loading and firing at random, he might 
accidentally get some game, but most assuredly 
he would frighten away far more than he would 
secure. If a parent, with blind and unthinking 
zeal, is incessantly throwing out random re- 
marks, she may by chance produce the desired 
effect. She will, however, more frequently ex- 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 193 

cite opposition, and confirm rebellion, than lead 
to penitence and prayer. 

Guard against long and tedious conversations 
on religious subjects. The mind of a child can 
not be fixed for any great length of time upon 
one subject without exhaustion. Every word 
that is uttered, after there are manifestations 
of weariness, will do more harm than good. If 
a mother will exercise her own judgment, and 
gather wisdom from her own observation, she 
will soon acquire that facility in adapting her 
instructions to the occasion which will have the^ 
best tendency to improve her child. No rules 
can supersede the necessity of personal watch- 
fulness and reflection. 

N 



CHAPTER VIII. 

RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION CONTINUED, 

1. Make the Bible your text book in the re- 
ligious instructions of your children. Few mod- 
erns have attained greater celebrity than La- 
martine. As a poet, a statesman, an orator, he 
has filled the world with his renown. When a 
child, his mother was his intellectual guide, and 
the Bible the book from which she taught him. 
She inspired him with all that is noble in his 
nature, arousing his affections, enkindling his 
mind, guiding his thoughts, forming his tastes. 
The Bible was her text book. Under its guid- 
ance, she led her noble and ardent boy through 
the groves and by the crystal streams of Eden. 
With her he gathered the fruit, and plucked 
the flowers, or listened to the songs, of Para- 
dise. He saw depictured before him Adam 
and Eve in their innocence and bliss, and in 
their condition and history he saw and felt the 
beauty of holiness. 

The Fall came with its gloom and withering 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 195 

curse. In the howling tempest, the desolation 
of the garden of Eden, and the weary wander- 
ings of our first parents when ejected from 
their early home, he saw the hatefulness of sin. 
The Deluge then succeeds with its blackness 
of darkness, and its surging billows overwhelm-, 
ing a struggling world. The heart of the 
child throbs in the conception of the awful 
scene as a mother's lips tell the tale. His 
mind is expanded, and his whole spirit elevated 
by the terrific idea. Babel rises before his eye. 
The story of Joseph and his adventurous life 
inspires him with lofty desires. Daniel, the 
heroic and the noble, awakens in his bosom the 
firm resolve that he also will be a Christian 
hero, daring to do and to suffer, though the 
famished lion roar, and the heated furnace glow. 
The Savior, in all the perfection of moral loveli- 
ness, and in all the grandeur of moral sublimity, 
becomes the object of his youthful love and ad- 
miration. His bosom glows with lofty emo- 
tions at the recital of the eventful lives of the 
Apostles. His character is thus formed upon 
the model of the sacred heroes. The mother, 
with the Bible, aided by God's blessing, has en- 
nobled and saved the boy. 

At length, she dies and molders to the dust. 
Life, with its tempests, rolls over her son. 



196 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



Temptations crowd around his path in sanguine 
youth and in vigorous manhood. But there 
is a guardian angel ever hovering over him. 
That gentle and familiar voice which taught 
him in infancy never dies upon his ear. That 
sweet maternal smile never fades from his eye. 
After long years of toil and conflict have 
passed away, Lamartine resolves to visit in per- 
son the land to which the instructions of his 
mother had so often led his youthful mind. The 
^_ evening twilight is 

just settling down 
over the hills of 
Judea as he catch- 
es the first dim 
glimpse of their 
outline. The fresh 
breeze urges the 
ship over the blue 
expanse of the Med- 
iterranean, and the 
moon rises brightly 
over Carmel and 
Olivet and Leba- 
non. His mother first guided his spirit to the 
Holy Land. And now his thoughts involunta- 
tarily turn to her. "My mother," he says, 
" surely looks down at such an hour as this 




LAMARTINE. 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 197 

upon her happy son." With a soul swelling 
with emotion, with eyes swimming in tears, he 
looks upon the unvailed Heavens above him 
and exclaims, "Mother! dear, dear mother! 
here am I drawing near to your own loved Je- 
rusalem. I am to weep upon Olivet and upon 
Calvary. Upon the shores of the river and 
the lake I am to tread in the footsteps which 
your Savior and my Savior have trodden. 
Mother, dear mother! I know that you are 
with me, and that you sympathize in the joy of 
your child." 

Thus does the spiritual sympathy which 
binds the heart of a child to a mother, survive, 
and continue to exercise its power, long after 
that mother has been slumbering in the grave. 
The Bible is the strongest of all influences in 
the creation of that sympathy. There is, in 
its relations, the union of all that is intellectu- 
ally exciting, and all that is spiritually sacred. 
Its narratives, its imagery, its precepts, its thrill- 
ing and heroic incidents, all more powerfully 
move the human heart than any other agency. * 

We have not sufficient faith in the potency 
of the Bible. It should be to the parent her 
manual, her armory, a treasury for her of every 
blessed influence. The infant mind eagerly 
listens to the recital of the biography and the 



198 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

history with which its pages are filled. Tell 
your child the stories of Eden, — of the Fall, and' 
of the Deluge, — of the cities of the plain, 
wrapped in fire, — of Samuel, and Joseph, and 
Moses, and David, and Ruth, and Daniel. Read 
to them these narratives in the beautiful sim- 
plicity with which the pen of inspiration has re- 
corded them, and you will awaken a strong and 
abiding interest in his mind ; you will fortify 
him against the wiles of infidelity, with argu- 
ments more potent than all the demonstrations 
of philosophy ; and you will ally your name, a 
mother's name, with the Bible, with angels, 
with heaven, with God. 

The mother must not surrender the instruction 
of her children in the narratives and truths of 
the Bible, to others — to the Sabbath-school 
teacher or her pastor. Grateful as she may be 
for the Sabbath-school, and the church, and all 
the benign influences which they exert, it is her 
privilege, her peculiar privilege, her inestimable 
privilege — a privilege of which no one may de- 
prive her, to take her child by the hand herself 
and lead him to the Savior. She must reveal 
to the tender and awakened spirit, death and 
its struggles, the grave and its corruption, — the 
archangel's trumpet, the morning of the resur- 
rection, the sublimity and the terror of the final 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 199 

judgment. A mother's loving voice must guide 
the mind to the garden of God on high — its 
blest mansions, its still waters, its green pas- 
tures, its fullness of never-fading joy. A moth- 
er's gentle tones must reveal all that is awful 
in the retribution of a righteous God, and the 
remorse and the despair, which, like an undy- 
ing worm and a quenchless flame, must con- 
sume the sinner's heart. In doing this, the 
Bible should ever be the parent's storehouse of 
religious influence. It is the mighty power of 
God. 

2. In teaching children from the Scriptures, 
aim at interesting them in the moral truths and 
sentiments which the narratives convey. 

In fact, upon a proper use of the sacred vol- 
ume, a great deal depends in respect to the suc- 
cess which is to be obtained through its in- 
strumentality. There are some parts of it 
which children can at a very early age under- 
stand and appreciate. Others, from their style 
or subject, will act efficiently on mature minds 
alone. From the former, which ought to be 
early read and explained, an immediate and 
most important religious influence can at once 
be exerted. Selections from the latter should 
be fixed in the memory, to exert an influence in 
future years. 



200 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

For the former of these purposes the narra- 
tive parts, if judiciously selected, are most ap- 
propriate in early years. But great care ought 
to be taken to select those which may be easily 
understood, and those in which some moral les- 
son is obvious and simple. Let it be constantly 
borne in mind that the object in view in teach- 
ing the Bible to a child, is to affect his heart ; 
and it would be well for every mother to pause 
occasionally, and ask herself, "What moral 
duty am I endeavoring to inculcate now? 
What practical effect upon the heart and con- 
duct of my child is this lesson intended to pro- 
duce?" 

To ask a young child such questions as, 
" Who was the first man ?" " Who was the 
oldest man ?" " Who slew Goliath ?" may be 
giving him lessons in pronunciation, but it is 
not giving him religious instruction. It may 
teach him to articulate, or it may strengthen 
his memory, — but is doing little or nothing to 
promote his piety. I would not be understood 
to condemn such questions. I only wish that 
parents may understand their true nature. If 
the real or supposed dexterity of the child in 
answering them is not made the occasion of 
showing him off before company, — thus cher- 
ishing vanity and self-conceit, — it may be well 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 201 

thus to exercise the memory ; and some facts, 
which will be useful hereafter, may be fixed in 
this way. But it must not be considered as 
religious instruction ; — it has not in any degree 
the nature of religious instruction. 

What, then, is the kind of instruction which 
is to be given from the Bible ? I will illustrate 
the method by supposing a case which may 
bring the proper principles to view. We will 
imagine the child to be two or three years old. 

" Come," says its mother, " come to me and 
I will read you a story." It is Sabbath after- 
noon we will suppose ; the mind of the child is 
not pre-occupied by any other interest. 

" Sometimes," continues the mother, " I tell 
you stories to amuse you. But I am not going 
to do that now. It is to do you good. Do you 
understand how it will do you good to hear a 
story?" 

" No, mother." 

"Well, you will see. It is the story of Cain 
and Abel. Do you know any thing about it ?" 

" Yes ; Cain killed Abel." 

" Do you know why he killed him ?" 

" Because he was wicked." 

"No, I mean what did Abel do to make 
Cain angry with him ? Did you ever see any 
body angry ? Were you ever angry yourself?" 



202 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

" Yes, mother." 

" And I suppose you had some cause for it.' 
Now I will read the account, and see whether 
you can tell what made Cain angry. l And 
Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an 
offering unto the Lord. 3 Do you know what 
the fruit of the ground is ?" 

" No, mother." 

" It means any thing which grows out of the 
ground. Cain was a farmer ; he planted seeds 
and gathered the fruits which grew from them, 
and he brought some of them to offer them to 
God. ' And Abel brought of the firstlings of 
his flock. 9 Do you know what that means ?" 

The child hesitates. 

" Abel did not cultivate the ground like Cain. 
He had great flocks of sheep and goats, and he 
brought some of the best of those to offer to 
God. So that you see that Cain and Abel did 
almost exactly the same thing. 

" Now, God does not notice merely what we 
do, but how we feel, while we are doing it. If 
I should ask you to go and shut that door when 
you are busy, and if you should go immediately, 
but feel ill-humored, God would be displeased. 
He looks at the heart. Do you ever feel ill-hu- 
mored when I wish you to do what you dis- 
like r 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 203 

" Yes, sometimes." 

" Now, Cain, I suppose, did not feel pleasantly 
when he brought his offering, and God was dis- 
satisfied with him. But God was pleased with 
Abel's offering, and accepted it. Should you 
have thought that Cain would have liked 

this r 

" No : — did he like it V 

" No, he did not. He was very much dis- 
pleased ; and it is very remarkable that he was 
displeased, not only against God, but he was 
angry with his brother, who had not done him 
the least wrong. That is the w r ay with us all. 
If you should do wrong, and your sister do 
right, and I should blame you, and praise her, 
you would be tempted to feel angry with her, 
just because she had been so happy as to do her 
duty. How wicked such a feeling is ! 

" Cain, however, had that feeling ; and little 
children have it very often. It shows itself in 
different ways. Cain, being a strong man, rose 
against his brother in the field and killed him. 
But young children who are weak and small 
would only strike each other, or say unkind 
things to one another. Now God is displeased 
with us w T hen we have these feelings, whether 
we show them by unkind words, or by cruel 
violence. There is a particular verse in the 



204 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

Bible which shows this. Should you like to 
have me find it ?" 

" Yes, mother/' 

"I will find it then. It is in Matt. v. 22. 
Our Savior says it. It is this, ' Whosoever is 
angry with his brother without a cause, shall 
be in danger of the judgment ; and whosoever 
shall say, Thou fool*, shall be in danger of hell- 
fire. 9 This is not the whole of the verse. I 
will explain the other part some other time/' 

The reader will perceive at once that the 
kind of instruction here exemplified, consists in 
drawing out the moral lesson which the passage 
is intended to teach, and in giving it direct and 
practical application to the circumstances and 
temptations of the child. 

The views which are generally entertained 
of heaven, as described in the Bible, are far 
more indefinite than they ought to be. This 
home of the blest is described in the Scriptures 
with the most magnificent imagery that nature 
affords. Heaven is spoken of as having a dis- 
tinct locality, like any place on earth. We 
hear of the splendor of the golden city, adorned 
with every beauty with which the hand of Om- 
nipotence can embellish it ; of the mansions 
glittering with architectural magnificence. We 
are informed of the social enjoyments of that 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION, 205 

world. The Christian is introduced to the so- 
ciety of angels ; converses with them ; unites 
in their enjoyments ; becomes a loved member 
of their happy community. We are informed 
of the active delights of heaven. Angel bands 
fly to and fro, the rejoicing servants of God. 
They unfold their wings and take their rapid 
flight where all the glories of the universe al- 
lure their curiosity, and where no darkness 
succeeds the splendor of ceaseless day. The 
eye gazes full and undazzled upon the bright- 
ness of God's throne. The ear is charmed with 
melody. The body of the Christian is to arise 
from the grave, incorruptible and immortal. 
There is the union of soul and body in that 
happy world. There we meet our Christian 
friends; recognize them ; rejoice in their love. 
Thus we pass our eternity with songs, and 
everlasting joy upon our heads, where sorrow 
and sighing forever flee away. 

How vivid and impressive are the views 
which the pen of inspiration gives of the Chris- 
tian's future abode! Yet the very common 
idea entertained of heaven is, that it is a vast 
aerial expanse, where shadowy and unsubstan- 
tial spirits repose in mysterious and indefinable 
enjoyment. There is, indeed, with many in- 
dividuals, an impression that it is wrong to as- 



206 THE mother" at home. 

sociate ideas of joys with which we now are 
familiar, with that celestial abode. But is it 
not safe, is it not a duty, to be guided in our 
instructions by the Bible ? Admitting that the 
descriptions of the Bible are figurative, as they 
of necessity must be, still these are the figures 
which God has employed to convey to our 
minds an idea of the joys of heaven. And 
God would surely select the most appropriate 
figures, and those which most nearly resemble 
the enjoyments to be illustrated. 

3. It is our privilege and our duty, there- 
fore, to describe heaven to our children, as God 
has described it to us. Thus may we give it 
vividness in their minds. Thus may we excite 
in their youthful bosoms the most intense desire 
to enter that happy world. And why has God 
unfolded its glories but to allure us to holiness 
and entice us home ? Your son has an unusual 
thirst for knowledge. His curiosity is ever on 
the alert. He is prying into nature's mysterious 
movements, and asking questions which the 
human mind can not answer. Tell him that 
there are no limits to human improvements; 
that the grave can not enchain the energies of 
mind ; that time can not circumscribe its range ; 
that eternity can not weary its powers ; that it 
will advance in its acquisitions, and soar in its 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 207 

flight, long after suns, and moons, and stars 
shall have waxed old and decayed. Tell him 
that in heaven he shall understand all the won- 
ders of God's works, and experience the most 
exquisite delight, as he looks into and compre- 
hends all the machinery of nature. And then 
you can tell him of the Savior, who died that 
he might introduce him to this happy world. 

Your daughter has an ear charmed with the 
melody of sound. Music is to her a source of 
exquisite enjoyment. Is there no music in 
heaven ? Is there no melody in the " chorus 
of the skies ?" Is there nothing enrapturing to 
the soul while uniting with angel bands in their 
hallelujahs ? God has thus described heaven 
to us. Why should we not then animate our 
children with the same description ? You may, 
in familiar language, carry the thoughts of your 
daughter away to companies of happy angels, 
with celestial harps and divine voices rolling 
their notes of joy through heaven's wide con- 
cave. Thus will she have some definite idea 
of the enjoyments to which she is invited. 
The joys of heaven will be to her intensely 
alluring ; and she will be led to inquire more 
earnestly into the way of salvation, and with 
more fervor to implore God's aid to overcome 
sin and prepare her for a heavenly home. 



208 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

Your child has an affectionate disposition, a 
heart open to receive friendship, and to pour 
forth its love. Tell him of the love of heaven, 
of God, of the angels. Tell him of the love 

' which animates the bosoms of those noble 
spirits who have not a single fault to repel at- 
tachment. Tell him of again meeting all his 
friends who love the Savior, in that world where 
an unkind word, or an unkind look, or an un- 
kind thought is unknown. And as you dwell 
upon the proofs of a Savior's love, his heart may 
be melted. 

Is your child passionately fond of nature's 
scenery ? Does he look with a poet's eye upon 
the ocean, upon the starry canopy, upon the 
gilded clouds of sunset ? There surely is mag- 
nificence in the scenery of heaven. There is 
splendor worth beholding in the ■. visions of 
angels, the throne of God, the wide-spread uni- 
verse of countless worlds. What is the ocean 
but a drop sprinkled from the almighty hand ? 

* What is Niagara, to us so magnificent, but a 
tiny rivulet rippling over its pebbly channel ? 
Animate your child with the description of those 
glories of heaven, before which all the sublimity 
of earth sinks to insignificance. Fear not that 
this will extinguish in his bosom a taste for na- 
ture's beauties. It will, while increasing the 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 209 

enjoyment which he derives from these sources, 
refine and elevate his mind, and give him 
ardent desires to be prepared for this world of 
glory. Fear not that this will strengthen in his 
heart the principles of selfishness instead of lead- 
ing him to piety. If God had felt such fears, 
he never would have presented us the allure- 
ments of heaven, or the terrors of hell. Pre- 
sent these joys, that your child may be induced 
by them to repent of sin, to trust in the Savior, 
and to consecrate life to his service. 

These descriptions are necessarily in some 
degree figurative, and we must so instruct our 
children. But we must not neglect the use of 
these figures, for they convey to the mind the 
most correct conception that can be attained 
of the enjoyment of the future world. The 
fact that God has selected them, proves that no 
other language can be equally appropriate. 
They describe, as perfectly as human language 
can describe, the nature of heaven's enjoy- 
ments. But they do not come up to the real- 
ity ; for eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, nor 
human heart conceived, the joys which God 
has prepared for those who love him. 

God knows how to adapt instruction to the 
human mind. We must imitate his example. 
And we must present heaven to our children 



210 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

as God has presented it to us, crowded with 
images of delight. The purest and noblest joys 
that we experience on earth, will be found 
again in that world, only infinitely elevated 
and refined. And he must adopt singular prin- 
ciples of interpretation, who does not read in 
the Bible, that in heaven we shall find splendor 
of scenery, harmony of music, congeniality of 
companions, ardor of love, delight of active 
motion, mansions of glory, and homes of never- 
failing bliss. Let us urge these views upon 
our children till their hearts are warmed by 
them. Nothing can have a stronger tendency 
to convince them of the folly of laying up 
treasures upon earth. And this will lead them 
to listen with interest to your instructions in 
order that they may learn how salvation is to 
be obtained. 

4. Next to the Bible, as a means of religious 
influence, we must place the careful culture 
of our own hearts. The parent must strive to 
be herself, just what she wishes her child to be. 
She must cherish in her own spirit those virtues 
and those graces, which she desires to see as 
the embellishments of the character of her child. 
Our children have more right to expect that we 
shall be model parents than we have to require 
that they shall be model children. Their temp- 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 211 

tations are as severe for them as ours are for 
us. We are apt to think their burdens light, 
because upon our mature minds they would 
pi*ess with but little weight. And thus most 
erroneously we excuse ourselves for defects 
which we censure severely in them. 

Would you have your children look to God 
sincerely, affectionately, cheerfully, as their 
Father and their friend — their sympathizer in 
joy, their comforter in sorrow ? Lead them to 
do this, by your example. Let them see this 
spirit in you. When you bend over the cradle 
of a dying child, when disaster comes and sweeps 
away your means of luxury and even of com- 
forts, when disease takes you from the busy 
cares of the household and you languish in de- 
bility and pain upon your bed — then is the time, 
in which to show the loveliness and the blessed- 
ness of confidence in God. A smile upon your 
countenance, a glance of confiding affection in 
your eye, a word of calm submission from your 
full heart, will then go to the hearts of your ob- 
serving children, with great and effectual power. 
Words are air. They fall upon the ear, and 
are forgotten. But who ever forgets abiding, 
consistent, unvarying example? What child 
ever ceases to remember the life, the daily life, 
of its father and its mother ? 



212 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

The ornaments and graces too, of the natural 
character as well as the principles of piety, can 
best be inculcated upon children through the 
influence of example. Would you have your 

1 daughter learn to control her passions, and cul- 
tivate a subdued, gentle, and submissive spirit ? 
Would you have her speak soothingly to her 
little brother, when he is irritated, and bear her 
own little troubles without fretful ness or com- 
plaining ? Show her how to do it by your ex- 
ample. When the careless domestic drops the 
china vase, or spoils the dinner, or breaks the 
lamp of oil upon the carpet ; then is the time, in 
which to teach your child how to govern her- 
self. This is your hour of conflict. Gain the 
victory yourself, and your child will gather 
strength from your success to struggle with her 
own temptations and sins. 

Say not that the annoyances and trials which 
you have to bear, are too great to be always 
endured with equanimity. God lays upon his 

4 children no intolerable burdens. We need such 
discipline as these things bring that we may be 
able to sympathize with our children in their 
trials. And we surely ought not to be sur- 
prised to find that our children get vexed and 
angry at the disappointments and injuries which 
befall them, if we lose our own tempers and re- 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 213 

sent with ruffled feelings and angry words the 
acts of carelessness on the part of others by 
which we are annoyed. 

Parents should never, especially in the pres- 
ence of their children, give way to feelings of 
irritation and anger. Even when a child does 
wrong, there should be no expression of resent- 
ment or vexation in our looks or in our words. 
We may act firmly on such occasions, and 
reprove effectually, while yet we maintain 
throughout, the quiet, gentle, and peaceful spirit 
by which the conduct of the Christian ought at 
all times to be characterized. 

In fact, the efficiency of parental discipline 
will depend in a great measure upon the mild- 
ness and gentleness of the form it assumes : 
while at the same time, by assuming such a char- 
acter, it makes the subject of it gentle and mild. 

In the same manner, feelings of benevolent 
regard for the happiness of others, and all other 
right moral sentiments of heart, can be best 
cultivated through the influence of parental ex- 
ample. Would you cherish in your child, a 
heart to feel for others' woes. — a generous 
spirit, active in the relief of distress ? Take 
your son or your daughter with you, as you 
grope through the dark passage-way to the room 
of sickness and penury. Let him see the scanty 



214 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 




TUB VISIT. 



furniture, the thin 
clothing, and the 
feeble flame dying 
on the hearth. Let 
him bear, himself, 
the basket which 
conveys comforts 
to the desolate ; 
and the spirit which 
glows in your bos- 
om, will warm his 
also ; and the spir- 
it of benevolence 
which Christ has 
enkindled in your bosom, will diffuse its warmth 
into his youthful heart. 

It is a beautiful arrangement of Providence, 
that requires that the great work of the forma- 
tion of the character of children should be done 
in the heart of the parent herself. I am to 
teach my child to avoid vanity, and pride, and 
selfishness, by cultivating within myself, with 
never-tiring assiduity, the spirit of lowliness, of 
humility, of self-sacrifice. It is thus, more effect- 
ually than in any other way, that I am to 
reach and influence his heart. So I am to curb 
the impetuous passions of my child, mainly by 
gaining the victory over myself, and bringing 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 215 

all my own passions under perfect control. It 
is thus within myself, — it is in my own heart, 
that I can work most effectually in molding the 
character of my children ; for in promoting 
their moral progress I must go before them and 
lead the way. 

What fearful questions, then, arise in the 
mind of every parent ? Am I what I wish my 
child to be ? Am I grateful, submissive, cheer- 
ful ? Have I conquered my passions, obtained 
weanedness from the world, and am I daily, in 
my life, presenting an example such as my child 
may safely imitate ? Here lies the great work 
of parental faithfulness. Here is to be laid the 
deep foundations of all salutary family disci- 
pline. Thus did our Savior plead. Such was 
the influence he wielded. Persuasive as were 
his words, infinitely more persuasive was the 
power of his example. 

5. Dwell particularly upon the Savior, in 
the religious instruction of children. The 
Scriptures declare that the preaching of Christ 
crucified is the great instrument which God 
uses in convincing of sin, and leading the soul 
to penitence and gratitude. And the history 
of the church in all ages has shown that the 
history of a Savior's love and death will awaken 
contrition and melt the heart, when all other 



216 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

appeals are in vain. Your child will listen, 
with tearful eye, while you tell of the Savior's 
elevation in heaven ; of his becoming man ; of 
the sufferings and persecution of his life ; and 
of his cruel death upon the cross. And when 
you tell your child that it was God who thus 
became manifest in the flesh, and suffered 
these indignities that he might redeem his sin- 
ful creatures from woe, you will convey to the 
tender mind such an idea of God's kindness, 
and the ingratitude of sinners, as nothing else 
can produce. The philosopher may admire the 
noble conception of the eternal, incomprehen- 
sible, invisible Spirit. But it is God, as man- 
ifested in the compassionate, gentle, and suffer- 
ing Savior, w 7 ho attracts the sympathies of the 
heart. A definite idea is introduced to the 
youthful mind, when you speak of him who 
took little children in his arms and blessed them. 
Every Christian can judge, from the effect pro- 
duced upon his own heart by the recital of a 
Savior's love, of the tendency it has to awaken 
in the bosom of a child the deepest emotions 
of contrition and gratitude. It is very observ- 
able, in all the accounts of youthful piety, that 
the Savior is the prominent object of affec- 
tion. 

Any person will be interested, in turning 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 217 

over the pages of almost any pious child's biog- 
raphy, to witness how strong the impression 
which a Savior's love produces upon the heart. 
Even under the most adverse circumstances, 
the youthful heart has found its way to him. 
Not a few instances have occurred, in which 
parents, who have not been accustomed to give 
prominency to the Savior in their instructions, 
have been surprised to find that Jesus Christ is 
the sympathizing friend to whom a child, in sick- 
ness and in suffering, has most affectionately 
clung. God, in Christ, has attractions which 
nothing else can have. 

When little Nathan Dickerman was asked, 
" What do you love to think about most when 
you are in pain ?" 

" The Lord Jesus Christ," he answered. 

At another time his biographer records, 
" Nathan is very sick to-night. His heart is 
beating most violently and rapidly, while the 
pulse can hardly be perceived at the wrist. 
But he says he is more happy than usual. I 
asked him why. He replied, 

" "Because my Savior is near.' 

" Being asked which was his favorite hymn ; 
he reflected a moment, and repeated, 

11 One there is above all others 

"Well deserves the name of friend ; 



218 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

His is love beyond a brother's, 
Costly, free, and knows no end. 

Which of all our friends, to save us, 
Could or would have shed his blood ? 

But this Savior died to have us 
Reconciled in him to God." 

" The remembrance of what the Savior suf- 
fered sustained him in all his sufferings. Re- 
deeming love was the theme of his sweetest 
meditations. 

" One day, some one was mentioning in the 
room, that his disease was of such a nature that 
he would probably die suddenly. Nathan 
heard it, and rising up in the bed, clasped his 
hands together, and repeated the verse, 

*- Jesus can make a dying bed 
Feel soft as downy pillows are, 
While on his breast I lean my head, 
And breathe my soul out sweetly there." 

" And after sitting a few moments in silence* 
^he added another : 

" Jesus, my God, I know his name, 
His name is all my trust ; 
Nor will he put my soul to shame ; 
Nor let my hope be lost." 

" ' Isn't that a good hope, mother?' '' 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 219 

We might open to almost any memoir of 
early piety, in illustration of this principle. 
And indeed every one who is familiar with the 
characteristics of devotional feeling, as they 
are exemplified in the mind of a child, must 
have observed the wonderful adaptation of re- 
ligious truth to our weakness and frailty. 

Let parents, therefore, imitate the apostles, 
and preach to their children a suffering Savior. 
Show them God in Christ, reconciling the 
world to himself. This is the simplicity of the 
Gospel. Indeed, we can hardly conceive it 
possible for the affections of a child to cling 
with ardor to any object, of which it can not 
form some definite conception. Tell your child 
of Christ, who created him ; of Christ, who be- 
came man, and suffered and died to save him ; 
of Christ, before whose judgment-seat he soon 
must appear; of Christ, whose praises the 
Christian will sing in heaven, ages without end. 
Thus is God, if I may so express it, simplified 
to the comprehension of the child. The moth- 
er who does not often present this Savior, and 
dwell upon the story of his sufferings and death, 
has not yet learnt the simplicity and power of 
the gospel. All other motives are feeble, com- 
pared with this. You may search the world 
of fact and of imagination in vain for any mo- 



220 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

tive calculated to produce so deep an impres- 
sion upon the mind. And every thing in this 
astonishing occurrence has a tendency to pro- 
mote humility, and penitence, and love. I 
dwell the more earnestly upon this point, for it 
appears to me of primary importance. It is the 
all-availing instrument which God has given to 
subdue the power of sin in the heart. 

Pray with your children. It is not only the 
duty of a mother to pray for her children, but 
when they are young, to pray with them. Let 
them hear your fervent supplications that God 
will make them his friends. Let them see that 
your desires are intense that they may be pre- 
served from sin, and prepared for heaven. The 
feelings which animate the bosom of the mother 
will, by sympathy, in some degree, be trans- 
ferred to the bosoms of the children. These 
scenes of devotion will long be remembered. 
And even if your efforts and your prayers are 
not answered with the early evidences of your 
children's piety, these hours of devotion will 
leave a trace upon the memory never to be 
effaced. Through all succeeding years they 
will operate as restraints from plunging into 
guilty excess, and as monitions of conscience 
calling loudly to repentance and virtue. 

It is reported of a man, eminent for his tal- 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 221 

ents, his elevated situation in life, and his dissi- 
pation, that one evening, while sitting at the 
gaming-table, he was observed to be unusually 
sad. His associates rallied him upon his seri- 
ous aspect. He endeavored, by rousing him- 
self, and by sallies of wit, which he had always 
at command, to turn away their attention, and 
throw off the transient gloom. Not many mo- 
ments transpired before he seemed again lost 
in thought, and dejected, by some mournful 
contemplations. This exposed him so entirely 
to the ridicule of his companions, that he could 
not defend himself. As they poured in upon 
him their taunts and jeers, he at last remarked, 
" Well, to tell the truth, I can not help think- 
ing, every now and then, of the prayers my 
mother used to offer for me at my bedside 
when I was a child. Old as I am, I can not 
forget the impressions of those early years." 
Here was a man of highly cultivated mind, and 
of talents of so high an order as to give him in- 
fluence and eminence, notwithstanding his dis- 
solute life, and yet, neither lapse of years, nor 
acquisitions of knowledge, nor crowding cares, 
nor scenes of dissipation, could obliterate the 
effect which a mother's devotions had left upon 
his mind. The still small voice of a mother's 
prayers rose above the noise of guilty revelry. 



222 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

The pious mother, though dead, still continued 
to speak in impressive rebuke to her dissolute 
son. Many facts might be introduced illustra- 
ting the importance of this duty. The follow- 
ing is so much to the point, and affords such 
cheering encouragement, that I can not refrain 
from relating it. 

A few years since, a gentleman from Eng- 
land brought a letter of introduction to a gen- 
tleman in this country. The stranger was of 
accomplished mind and manners, but in senti- 
ment an infidel. The gentleman to whom he 
brought letters of introduction, and his lady, 
were active Christian philanthropists. They 
invited the stranger to make their house his 
home, and treated him with every possible at- 
tention. Upon the evening of his arrival, just 
before the usual hour for retiring, the gentle- 
man, knowing the peculiarity of his guest's sen- 
timents, observed to him that the hour had ar- 
rived in which they usually attended family 
prayers ; that he should be happy to have him 
remain and unite with them, or, if he preferred, 
he could retire. The gentleman intimated that 
it would give him pleasure to remain. A chapter 
of the Bible was read, and the family all knelt 
in prayer, the stranger with the rest. In a few 
days the stranger left this hospitable dwelling, 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 223 

and embarked on board a ship for a foreign 
land. In the course of three or four vears, 
however, the providence of God again led that 
stranger to the same dwelling. But O, how 
changed! He came the happy Christian, the 
humble man of piety and prayer. In the course 
of the evening's conversation he remarked that 
when he, on the first evening of his previous 
visit, knelt with them in family prayer, it was 
the first time for many years that he had bowed 
the knee to his Maker. This act brought to his 
mind such a crowd of recollections, it so vivid- 
ly reminded him of a parent's prayers which 
he had heard at home, that it completely ab- 
sorbed his attention. His emotion was so great 
that he scarcely heard one syllable of the prayer 
which was uttered, from its commencement to 
its close. And God made this the instrument 
of leading him from the dreary wilds of infidel- 
ity to the peace and the joys of piety. His pa- 
rents, I believe, had long before gone to their 
rest ; but the prayers that they had offered for 
and with their son, had left an influence which 
could not die. They might have prayed ever 
so fervently for him, but if they had not prayed 
with him, if they had not knelt by his side and 
caused his listening ear to hear their earnest 



224 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

supplications, their child might have continued 
through life unreconciled to his Maker. 

There is efficacy in prayer. God hears and 
answers our requests. But he does this in ac- 
cordance with the laws which he has estab- 
lished. It is presumption to expect that he will 
interrupt the harmony of those laws. He acts 
through them. And we should endeavor to ac- 
commodate all our efforts to the known habits 
and laws of mind ; to present those motives 
which have a tendency to influence. God an- 
swered the prayers of these pious parents ; but 
he did it through the instrumentality of the 
very effort which they were making in asking 
him to bless their son, though their efforts 
seemed for a time to lead to no result. 

7. Teach your children to pray themselves. 
It may be very useful to teach a child the Lord's 
prayer and other simple forms. And a child 
may thus really pray — give utterance to his 
own feelings in the language of another. But 
f this can not supersede the necessity of teaching 
him to go himself to thank God for all the name- 
less enjoyments of the day, and to ask forgive- 
ness for the various faults he may have com- 
mitted. The minds of children dwell upon par- 
ticulars. They are not in habits of generaliz- 
ing. It requires but little feeling to confess 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 225 

that we are sinners. But to specify individual 
acts of wickedness demands a much greater ex- 
ercise of humility. And a general recognition 
of God's goodness affects the mind very differ- 
ently from the enumeration of particular mer- 
cies. It is therefore important that your child § 
should be taught to review the events of each 
day at its close. He should be reminded of the 
mercies received, and the faults committed ; 
and be taught to express gratitude for the one, 
and implore pardon for the other. The return 
of a father from a journey has given your chil- 
dren an evening of very unusual enjoyment. 
When they retire for the night, allude to the 
happy evening they have passed. Tell them it 
was God who preserved their father's life, and 
returned him safely home. And having thus 
excited real gratitude in their hearts, lead them 
to express this gratitude in their own simple 
and artless language. 

By thus pointing their attention to prominent 
facts and individual blessings, they will not 
only acquire facility in prayer, but be most * 
effectually taught their entire dependence upon 
God. Care should also be taken not to over- 
look the ordinary blessings of life. It is a rainy 
day. Show God's goodness in sending the rain. 
Let them see distinctly that their Father in 



226 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

heaven does it that his children may have food 
to eat. It is night. Show them the conse- 
quences which would result if God should never 
again cause the sun to rise and shine upon them. 
They have received some needful clothes. 
Show them how God makes the wool grow, 
that they may be warm. Every mother can 
easily present to them such contemplations, which 
will enlarge their field of thought, increase their 
knowledge of God, promote gratitude, and give 
a facility in prayer which will be to them a per- 
manent and valuable acquisition. 

Let it not be said that to impart such instruc- 
tions as these requires a degree of knowledge 
and skill which but few parents possess. The 
chief difficulty to be surmounted is the feeling 
which so many parents entertain that they have 
not time. But the mother who feels the im- 
portance of this subject as it deserves to be felt, 
will find time to be faithful with her children, 
whatever else she may be under the neces- 
sity of neglecting. The same course should be 
pursued in confession of sin. By pointing to 
these mercies you may easily convince your 
child of its want of suitable gratitude. Perhaps 
he has, during the day, been guilty of falsehood, 
or disobedience, or anger. Point to the definite 
case, and lead your child to confess it before 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 227 

God, and ask forgiveness. We will suppose 
that your son has been irritated, and struck his 
sister. Before he falls asleep, you remind him 
of his sin. Show him how wicked it was, and 
how displeased God must be. Tell him when 
he is asleep he will die, unless God keeps himi 
alive. Under such instructions, almost every 
child would desire to ask forgiveness, and prob- 
ably would offer some such prayer as this : " O 
God, I am very wicked. I struck my sister. I 
am very sorry, and will never do so again. O 
God, forgive me, for Jesus Christ's sake." This 
would be prayer, if offered from the heart ; and 
if, after it had been offered, the mother should 
kneel by the bedside, and confess the sin of her 
child, and pray that God would forgive him, in 
all probability the intended effect of prayer 
would be accomplished. The offender would 
be penitent, and the sin forgiven. For these 
reasons, it is a most obvious duty to teach chil- 
dren to express their own feelings in their own 
language. And the careful mother may make 
this exercise one of the most efficient instru- 
ments in teaching her child obedience here, and 
in training it up for holiness and happiness here- 
after. 

Parents are apt to smile at the childish ex- 
pressions which children make use of in prayer, 



228 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

and sometimes fear that their language is irrev- 
erent. But God looks simply at the sincerity 
of the petition, at its importance in the mind of 
the petitioner. A little child of two and a half 
years prayed, " Lord, help me to laugh and not 
to cry when mother washes me in the morn- 
ing." And does not God look with as kind a 
regard upon the humble request of this little 
child, as he does upon the fervent petitions of 
the man who implores support under some pain- 
ful operation, or strength to overcome an irri- 
table spirit ? Such a request, coming spontane- 
ously from the heart of a child, is genuine 
prayer, and it shows a state of feeling which 
ought at all times to be cherished. 

8. Expect that your child will become a Chris- 
tian. That heart which is susceptible of sor- 
row and love, is capable of evangelical repent- 
ance and love to God. No one can doubt but 
that, at a very early period in life, a child has 
all the powers which are employed in the exer- 
cise of true religion. Neither can there be any 
doubt that at that early period the mind is more 
susceptible of impression, the hold of the world 
is more feeble, and the current of affection may 
be more easily turned to God. And facts do 
hold forth most abundant encouragement. How 
many little memoirs have recently been issued 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 229 

from the press, which have told the affecting 
tale of youthful piety! Children of five or six 
years of age have given the most gratifying evi- 
dence of attachment to the Savior. They have 
endured pain, and met death, sustained by the 
consolations of religion. Such facts have been 
too numerous and too decisive to allow unbelief 
to be longer excusable. And yet it is to be feared 
that many parents do not feel their immediate 
responsibility. They still cherish the impres- 
sion that their children must attain maturity 
before they can be decidedly penitent for sin, 
and the friends of God. But the mother who 
entertains such feelings as these, is guilty of the 
most cruel injustice to her child. It is almost 
impossible that she should be vigilant and faith- 
ful in her efforts, unless she expects success. 
Every mother ought to engage in the duties of 
religious instruction, with the confident expec- 
tation that God will accompany her exertions 
with his blessing. She ought even to feel that, 
if her child does not give early evidence of 
piety, much of the responsibility rests with her. 
The Christian experience of the child will un- 
doubtedly differ from that of the man who has 
passed many years in sin, whose habits are 
firmly fixed, and whose affections have long 
been flowing in the channel of worldliness. 



230 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

With such a person the struggle of turning to 
holiness will often be great, and the sense of sin- 
distressingly intense. But the period of your 
child's conversion may be at so early a stage 
of its existence as to leave no trace by which 
the time of the change can be remembered. 
The struggle will be comparatively feeble, and 
penitence will be manifested by the tearful eye 
and the sad heart, and not always by that deep 
agony of spirit which not unfrequently marks 
the change of those who have grown old in sin. 
Much injury is often done by laying stress 
upon the time when one becomes a Christian. 
Past feelings are at best but an uncertain test 
of Christian character. The great object of in- 
quiry should be as to present feelings and con- 
duct. Is the life now in accordance with the 
requirements of the gospel ? Is the heart now 
affected with humility, and patience, and grati- 
tude ? Is the resolution now strong to live for 
God ? If the sun is shining warmly upon us, 
it is of but little consequence at what moment it 
arose. There are many Christians who can not 
recollect the time when they became subjects 
of the new birth. Be not, therefore, anxious 
upon this point. Indeed, by directing the at- 
tention of your child to any particular time 
when it became a Christian, there is danger 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 231 

of leading the mind to rely upon the supposed 
experience of that moment, rather than upon 
continued penitence and devotion. And there- 
fore let every mother do all in her power to 
awaken in the bosoms of her children emotions 
of sorrow for sin, and reliance upon Christ. 
And when she finds these feelings in the heart, 
and controlling the life, let her thank God, and 
take courage. She must watch with maternal 
solicitude, that temptation be avoided, and that 
the feeble flame burn brighter and brighter. 
Christ has intrusted this beloved object to your 
guardianship. Why should not a mother con- 
fidently expect this result to follow her efforts ? 
Has not God encouraged her thus to hope, by 
promising to aid with his blessing ? Has he 
not encouraged, by again and again crowding 
such efforts with success? Away then with 
unbelief. To doubt is to distrust the promise 
of God. Instruct your child, and pray for your 
child, and look for an immediate blessing. 
Thus, in all probability, will your heart be 
made glad by the fruits of early piety at your 
fireside ; grateful children will honor you 
through life, and the joys of heaven will be 
magnified by meeting your loved ones there. 

9. Do not speak to others of the piety of 
your child. Great injury is thus often done. 



232 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

A child becomes deeply interested in the sub- 
ject of religion, and his friends are encouraged, 
to hope that he has really become a Christian. 
They speak of it to others. It is soon publicly 
known. He receives much attention ; is ca- 
ressed and flattered. Thus is this little child 
thrown at once into the very hottest furnace 
of temptation. We might refer to many pain- 
ful illustrations of this truth in the memoirs of 
early piety. 

Says the biographer of little Nathan Dicker- 
man, " His feelings were often wounded by the 
injudicious conversation which was frequently 
held in his presence. 

" Kind friends indulged in perhaps what were 
well-meant, but sadly ill-judged remarks in his 
presence. And it is most deeply to be regret- 
ted that parents and friends so often, inconsider- 
ately no doubt, speak before children in praise 
of their persons, in a manner that inevitably 
fosters vanity, which injures their usefulness 
and happiness as long as they live. 

" Nathan's ear was often greeted with, Beau- 
tiful boy ! Remarkable boy ! What a fine 
countenance ! Certainly the most wonderful 
case I ever heard of! The half had not been 
told me." 

It is remarkable that, while exposed to such 



RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION. 233 

temptations, real humility could have been pre- 
served. And though the grace of God sus- 
tained this lovely child, but few would have es- 
caped uninjured. 

How often is even the Christian minister sen- 
sibly affected by flattery! And can a child 
safely receive such marked attentions ? An 
honest development of facts, upon this subject, 
would be exceedingly painful. Humility is one 
of the cardinal virtues of Christianitv. The 

ml 

moment an impression is conveyed to the mind 
that there is something remarkable and merito- 
rious in penitence for sin, and love for God, the 
heart is elated with pride. And then things are 
said, and actions performed, to attract attention. 
Prayers are offered, and feelings of piety ex- 
pressed, from the love of ostentation ; and the 
child is " spoiled." Preserve your child from 
these temptations, by giving no publicity to his 
feelings. Carefully cherish at home the flame 
which is kindled in his bosom. Under your 
protection, let him acquire strength of princi- 
ple and stability of character. Gradually in- 
troduce him to the more public duties of the 
christian life. Teach him humility. Preserve 
his childlike spirit. In this manner you may 
lead him along to be a humble, and, at the same 
time, an active and ardent follower of Christ. 



CHAPTER IX. 

FRUITS OF PIETY. 

Nothing will conduce more effectually to a 
mother's success in the work of training up her 
children to be consistent and useful Christians, 
than right ideas of the true fruits of piety. 
We must know what fruits the true spirit of 
piety will produce, for our own sakes, and also 
for our children. We must know what points 
we are ourselves to aim at attaining, in culti- 
vating the Christian character, and also in what 
direction we are to lead our children. I pro- 
pose in this chapter to consider what the true 
fruits of piety, as developed in a Christian 
family, properly are, 

1. A devotional spirit. A spirit of habitual 
and sincere devotion is so directly implied in 
the very idea of piety, that it seems scarcely 
proper to enumerate it as one of the fruits of 
piety. And yet the importance of direct and 
constant efforts to cultivate such a spirit, is 
often overlooked. By a devotional spirit is 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 235 

meant a spirit of sincere and fervent prayer, 
and a disposition to associate the thoughts of 
God and his providence with all the occur- 
rences and events of life. Cherish now this 
spirit in yourselves and inculcate it upon your 
children. Teach them, for example, that when 
their father, or you yourself, assemble them for 
morning or evening prayer, it is not a mere 
form, or a duty that they are to witness merely, 
but to take no part in. Teach them, on the 
other hand, that they have themselves an active 
and important duty to perform at these sea- 
sons. 

"When your father reads the passage of 
scripture," you can say to them, " you must not 
be inattentive, but must fix your thoughts upon 
what he reads, and endeavor to understand its 
meaning, and to apply the instructions to your 
own case. And as he addresses God in prayer, 
you should silently repeat after him all the 
words of his petition, trying to make them your 
own. And thus you should make the season 
of family prayer* a season in which you not 
merely listen to your father's prayer, but en- 
gage in devotion yourselves." 

It will not be sufficient to inculcate such a 
lesson as this upon your children by precept 
alone ; you must lead them to such duties by 



236 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

your example. They must see the evidence 
of a sincere spirit of devotion in you. To this, 
end you must be diligent in secret prayer, con- 
fessing your own sins, and imploring God's as- 
sistance to enable you to resist the peculiar 
temptations to which you are exposed. Social 
prayer is a great source of spiritual improve- 
ment and enjoyment. But it can never take 
the place of secret prayer. There are sins 
and temptations to which we all are exposed, 
which we can not confess in the presence of 
any one but God alone. In our secret prayers, 
therefore, we should be particular, mentioning 
by name our secret sins, and our constitutional 
imperfections. 

Teach your children these truths. "At 
the close of the day," you may say to them 
" when you retire to your chamber for the re- 
pose of the night, and before you close your 
eyes in sleep, retrace, with your thoughts, the 
scenes of the day. Recall to mind all the du- 
ties that you have faithfully performed, and also 
all the duties that you have neglected, and the 
temptations to which you have yielded. Among 
your sins of omission, you see, perhaps, that 
you did not improve your time in school as well 
as you ought to have done. Your mother 
found it necessary to censure you for leaving 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 237 

your clothes in your room in disorder. You 
also remember that you felt irritated at some 
little annoyance from your sister, and though 
you had sufficient self-restraint to refrain fiom 
speaking angrily to her, your feelings were for 
some time so ruffled as to make you quite un- 
happy. Reflect upon these faults till you feel 
how sinful they were in God's sight. You 
must then confess all these and other similar 
sins to God, and ask his forgiveness for them." 

It is thus that you must watch over your own 
spirit, and teach your children to w r atch over 
theirs day after day, and year after year, that 
you and they may grow in grace. It is only by 
this spirit of particular and secret prayer, that 
any one can make any rapid or sure attain- 
ments in the divine life. Nothing can be a 
substitute for faithful prayer. The moment 
that you begin to neglect it your heart begins 
to grow cold, and you become the victim of 
spiritual desertion. But if you are faithful in 
devotion, your path through life will be " as the 
shining light that shineth more and more unto 
the perfect day." You will soon, in this way, 
gain such a conquest over all sinful passions, 
that serenity and peace will be the habitual 
state of your mind. 

2. Cheerfulness. A cheerful spirit is so 



238 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

specially enjoined in the Scriptures that it may 
almost be considered a sin to be melancholy. 
It is a duty to be happy. Gloom and despon- 
dency are not only the consequences of sin, but 
they are sinful states of the mind. They prove 
ingratitude, and want of submission to the gov- 
ernment of God. I will not say that there may 
not be particular seasons in life, in the history 
of individuals, in which they must unavoidably 
be borne down with sorrow. Now and then, 
there comes upon an individual an awful calam- 
ity, and the strongest mind and the strongest 
faith are prostrated by it. But, even in these 
cases, it is by no means certain that it is not the 
duty of the Christian, to feel such perfect con- 
fidence in the wisdom and the benevolence of 
God's government, as to illustrate the truth of 
the promise, " Thou wilt keep him in perfect 
peace, whose mind is stayed on thee." 

There can, however, be no question but that 
it is our duty under all ordinary circumstances, 
to have a mind serene and peaceful. And while 
admitting that there may be a great difference, 
in this respect, in the natural disposition of chil- 
dren, nothing is more certain than that we can 
cultivate, in them as well as in ourselves, the 
habit of looking upon the bright side of every 
object, and, by this cultivation, with more or 



FRUITS OP PIETY. 239 

less difficulty, a spirit of almost uninterrupted 
tranquillity and happiness may be acquired. 
Young persons, and indeed many older persons, 
are apt to imagine that, if they are unhappy, it 
is their misfortune ; but the truth is, in general, 
it is not their misfortune, but their sin. They 
indulge themselves year after year in those feel- 
ings which they know to be wrong, and which 
gnaw at the heart like a viper biting there. 

Suppose when you awake in the morning, be- 
fore offering your morning prayer, you think 
of all the blessings with which you are sur- 
rounded. You reflect how many persons, dur- 
ing the past night, have been tossed upon beds 
of pain. "How many have died," you say, 
" and find themselves this morning in the eter- 
nal world, unprepared for its awful scenes ! My 
Heavenly Father has kept me alive, and an- 
other day is now given me in which to prepare 
for Heaven. The Lord has provided me with 
all necessary clothes to wear, and food to eat. 
I have kind friends around me ; opportunities 
for doing good opened before me ; and if I am 
faithful in duty this day, how happily may its 
hours glide along! And above all, — blissful 
thought, — if the Lord should see fit to take me 
from the world to-day, I can not doubt that he 
has, for my blessed Savior's sake, forgiven my 



240 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

sins, and that he will take me to Heaven. 
Every day is carrying me nearer to eternal 
holiness and happiness. O, how much occasion 
have I for a heart overflowing with gratitude ! 
I shall indeed be inexcusably ungrateful to my 
heavenly Father if, when crowned with all these 
blessings, I have a sad and murmuring heart. 

" Heavenly Father/' you say, in meditative 
prayer, " help me this day to manifest my grat- 
itude to thee by happy love. May I so love 
thee, and serve thee, and have such confidence 
in thy goodness, and so subdue all those pas- 
sions which are sinful, and consequently disturb 
one's peace, and so perform all my duties that 
I may have a tranquil heart all the day long." 

In your morning prayer, you pray for a 
cheerful spirit, as one of your most important 
duties and blessings. You then go fortified by 
prayer from your chamber to the family below, 
with a placid countenance, and a still more 
placid heart. If any domestic annoyances arise, 
*you are thus prepared to triumph over them. 
And there is a mysterious influence by which 
the serenity and good-nature of one heart are 
transmitted to all surrounding hearts. As you 
speak in kind and pleasant tones to the family ; 
as you are continually active in making peace 
and in keeping peace ; in preventing, as far as. 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 241 

possible, all occasions of annoyance ; and in 
sacrificing, with alacrity, your own ease and 
your own rights to make all things go smoothly, 
— you maintain an unruffled state of mind, 
which most richly compensates you for every 
act of self-denial. The reward comes with the 
duty. It is surprising what an influence one 
really warm-hearted, cheerful, disinterested 
person may thus have upon a whole family. I 
once heard it said of a certain child, " There can 
be no sorrow where she is. She has the fac- 
ulty of making every thing go pleasantly, and 
every one feel happy." This should be the 
character of every Christian child ; and how 
much more effectual, in disseminating an at- 
mosphere of enjoyment, may be the efforts of a 
Christian mother. 

If any mother will set out, perseveringly and 
prayerfully, in this course of life, resisting every 
emotion of discontent, cultivating, day after 
day and hour after hour, a cheerful and happy 
spirit, contending against every wrong feeling, 
and cherishing every thing that is lovely and 
of good report, with an effort, never intermitted, 
to keep a smile upon her countenance and 
peace in her heart, — she will soon gain such 
control over herself, and get into such a habit 
of being happy, that hardly any thing can in- 



242 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

terrupt her joy. If she is sick, she will be 
happy. If well, happy. She will be happy at 
home or abroad, at work or at rest, alone or in 
company. When young she will be happy, and 
when old she will be happy. And when a 
dying hour comes, and she looks forward to ai 
home in heaven, while others weep, she will 
rejoice. 

" Rejoice evermore," says the apostle Paul. 
This is a divine command ; but is one that we 
can not obey without making direct efforts to 
cultivate the spirit that it enjoins. The mother 
must then carefully and prayerfully cultivate 
this spirit of joy. A depressed and gloomy 
spirit she must resist. It is the spirit of Satan, 
not of God. It is the element of the world of 
woe, not of the home of the angel. It is said of 
the celebrated Wilberforce, that he so carefully, 
in the early part of his life, watched over his 
own heart, carefully subduing all emotions of 
vanity, ambition, selfishness, and irritability, 
that in the latter part of his life he seemed to 
have risen above temptation. In respect to 
those sins which so much disturb the peace of 
ordinary minds, the struggle with him seemed 
to be almost over, and the victory complete. 
The closing years of his life were like the calm 
and golden glory of a summer's evening. Not 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 243 

a cloud obscured the horizon of his joys. He 
was just as happy as the days were long. His 
children and his grandchildren clustered around 
him, feeling that his presence dispelled almost 
every sorrow. His favorite passage of Scrip- 
ture was, " Be careful for nothing, but in every 
thing, by prayer and supplication, with thanks- 
giving, let your requests be made known unto 
God ; and the peace of God, which passeth all 
understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds 
through Jesus Christ." Now, I can not doubt 
that it is in the power of almost every person, 
by the same culture, to attain the same rich 
and heavenly joy. 

Many persons are unhappy who are sur- 
rounded with almost every earthly blessing ; 
and many are very happy, who are deprived of 
almost every earthly good. Our happiness de- 
pends far more upon the state of our hearts 
than upon any thing else. Cultivate, then, a 
right state of heart, and you will almost surely 
have a happy life. And do not think that you 
have any right to be unhappy. If you pass an * 
unhappy day, in gloom and depression, you 
should repent of it, and ask God's forgiveness, 
and seek his aid, that you may sin so no more. 
Such a day must be a misspent day. Your 
gloom must have dishonored the religion you 



244 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

profess. It must have marred the happiness of 
your friends, } r our husband, your children, and- 
of all your domestic circle. And it must not 
only have prevented the possibility of any vig- 
orous efforts in doing good, but the influence of 
your gloomy example must have repelled others 
from religion. 

Therefore make it a daily duty to be cheer- 
ful. Pray that you may be cheerful ; meditate 
upon your blessings ; look upon the bright side 
of every thing; and carefully study your own 
heart, that you may ascertain what those feel- 
ings are which disturb the tranquillity of your 
mind, and should therefore be checked, and 
what those emotions are which are satisfying 
and pleasurable, and should therefore be culti- 
vated. You probably have no idea how much 
your usefulness and happiness depend upon the 
careful cultivation of a cheerful spirit. 

3. Kindness. The spirit of religion is the 
spirit of self-sacrifice, of giving up our own 
convenience, and relinquishing our own rights, 
that we may promote the happiness of others. 
We are thus to endeavor, not only to secure 
the happiness of those we love, but also to pro- 
mote the happiness of those who are unkind to 
us, whose characters and manners are disagree- 
able. We are instructed in the Bible, that we 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 245 

must in this respect imitate God, " who maketh 
his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and 
sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." 
Now we must diligently practice this sentiment 
ourselves, and diligently inculcate it upon our 
children. Teach them that it is by no meansr 
enough, that we love them that love us ; that 
we are kind to those who are kind to us. Our 
kindness must be a state of the heart, an es- 
tablished principle of universal application. 
Wherever we can confer a favor, we must do 
it gladly, whether they who receive it are de- 
serving or undeserving, and we must thank 
God for the opportunity of thus doing good. 

We must remember that an act of kindness 
however small, if it proceeds from sincere good- 
will, is pleasing to God. We must teach this 
truth to our children. A little child, for exam- 
ple, is seated at a corner of the fireplace, on a 
cold winter morning. It is a snug corner, — the 
pleasantest seat in the room. With an enter- 
taining book in her hand she is enjoying her 
pleasant position. Her brother comes in from 
the cold. At once, perhaps, the thought arises 
in her mind, " I got this seat first, and have a 
right to it. It is so comfortable that I can not 
think of leaving it." This is the selfish spirit 
of earth and sin. But she repels this thought. 



246 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



The spirit of Christianity and heaven springs 
up in her heart, and, immediately rising from 
her seat, she affectionately says. " Here brother, 
you look very cold. Take this warm seat. I 




THE PLEASANT SEAT. 



am quite warm, and will move a little further 
from the fire." 

Now, God looks down upon that act, and is 
pleased with it. It is acting like God. Angels 
look down and love such a spirit, and say, 
" That is the spirit of heaven ; there is a child 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 247 

whom we should wish to have associated with 
us here." 

This spirit you should manifest at all times, 
and on all occasions, and thus set the example 
of it to your children. Teach them to be ever 
ready to do all in their power to make others 'g 
happy. When with their brothers and sisters, 
or with their associates at school, they must be 
ever ready in all things to relinquish their own 
plans to gratify others. A plate of apples is 
brought into the room. One is larger and 
fairer than the rest. Teach them not to choose 
that one for themselves, but to select it kindly 
though unostentatiously, for their brother, or 
their sister, or the friend who has come to visit 
them. — Some play is proposed. Teach them 
to relinquish their own preference, for the 
choice of others. So, in every thing in which 
it is not wrong to yield, teach them to give up 
their own wishes, that they may gratify others. 

We must be careful, however, that this 
amiable and yielding disposition does not de- 
generate into indecision and fickle-mindedness. . 
We are never to yield in the least degree where 
it is wrong to do so. Whatever we think to 
be our duty, that we must mildly and kindly, 
but firmly resolve to do, at all hazards. We 
must not say, " It is a little sin, and I will in. 



248 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

dulge in it to gratify others/' Remember that 
the time is near when we must appear before- 
God's bar ; and he will not deem it an excuse 
for displeasing him, that we did it to please our 

1 friends or associates. These temptations we 
must resist ; and God exposes us to them that 
by resistance we may strengthen in our hearts 
the principle of obedience to him. 

A person may have the most amiable dispo- 
sition in the world, — the kindest and the most 
gentle, — and yet possess such a degree of deci- 
sion of character as to be willing to encounter 
any opposition and any obloquy rather than do 
the least wrong. This was the character of 
our Savior. He was willing to leave heaven, 
and all the joys of heaven, and to suffer and die 
upon the cross, that he might do us good. All 
this he could do for those who did not love him ; 
who were his enemies, and who, with hatred 
and insult, nailed him to the cross. Such fear- 
ful sacrifices as these our Savior could make to 

"promote the happiness of others. And yet there 
never was any other person in the world, who 
had so much decision of character as he. No 
earthly motive could induce him to do any thing 
in the least degree wrong. 

We must all possess the spirit of Christ, if we 
would be his disciples. We must imitate him in 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 249 



his self-denying kindness ; in his forgetfulness 
of his own comfort, that he might promote the 
happiness of others ; and also in his conscien- 
tious discharge of duty at all hazards. To cul- 
tivate this disposition, is one important part of 
the Christian conflict. 

4. Politeness. Some persons may be sur- 
prised in finding politeness mentioned as one 
of the fruits and evidences of piety. You have, 
perhaps, ever been accustomed to regard polite- 
ness as one of those fashionable graces which 
belong rather to the gay and thoughtless, than 
to the serious and devotional. But the truth is, 
that politeness is one of the most important of 
Christian virtues. " Be courteous," is one of 
the injunctions of the Bible. Indeed, the Bible 
contains the most perfect rules of politeness 
known in the world; and it enforces the ob- 
servance of those rules, as of infinite import- 
ance. The most perfect definition of politeness 
that I have ever seen, is " real kindness kindly 
expressed' 9 Politeness does not consist in 
flourishing manners and airs, artificially ac- 
quired. It is the natural expression of amiable 
feeling. If we carefully cherish the feelings to 
which I have alluded under the head of kind- 
ness, and, with real and unostentatious benevo- 
lence, treat all with whom w r e associate accord- 



250 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

ing to those principles, we shall be truly polite. 
Our manners will be pleasing to all persons. 
And persons who have not these feelings, and 
wish to appear polite, will attain only to the 

f empty and lifeless form. Indeed,, it is hard to 
conceive how one can be a Christian, who is 
not polite. The Christian character is certainly 
very defective, where this grace is wanting; for 
it implies the absence of the most lovely traits 
of the mind and of the heart. 

A writer in one of the apocryphal books says, 
" A gracious word is better than a gift ;" and it 
is indeed true, that some persons will confer a 
favor in so repulsive a way that it gives you pain 
rather than pleasure to receive it. Our real 
kindness must be kindly expressed. If it be 
not so, we shall often give more pain than pleas- 
ure by that which we intended as kindness. 

Let the mother then teach her children, both 
by precept and example to be always polite. 
Let her feel real kindness for all, and express 

% the kindness that she feels in a kind manner. 
Let her inculcate these principles upon her 
children. Show them plainly that both points 
are essential. It is not enough that there should 
be a substantial feeling of kindness in the heart ; 
it must be kindly expressed. On the other 
hand it is not enough that there should be kind 



FRUITS OF PIETY, 



251 



expression in words or acts ; — there must be 
kind feeling in the heart. 

This distinction may be made very clear to 
the youngest child by the following example. 
I was once riding with a clergyman, when we 
met a poor, lame man walking along the road. 
The clergyman thought it would be a deed of 
kindness to help 
him on his way, 
and, stopping his 
horse, said, " Here, 
you lame man, get 
in here!" The 
poor man was glad 
of a ride, and got 
in. The clergy- 
man took no fur- 
ther notice of him, 
but employed his 
mind with his own 
thoughts. Occa- 
sionally th6 poor man would make some re- 
mark ; but no attention was paid to what he 
said, unless it was necessary to answer him, 
and then the reply was a short yes or no. At 
length we arrived at the place where the man 
wished to get out. As he left the carriage, he 
very warmly thanked the clergyman for his 




THE LAME MAN. 



252 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

kindness in giving him the ride. Not a word, 
however, was said in reply to his thanks ; but 
the clergyman merely drove on. Now, the un- 
kind manner in which this favor was conferred, 
undoubtedly gave far more pain to the poor 
man than the ride gave him pleasure. It was, 
indeed, conferring a favor in an extremely un- 
feeling and unchristian way. The clergyman 
was exceedingly impolite. 

Suppose now that he had added to the sub- 
stantial favor which he intended to confer the 
charm of kindness of manner in conferring it. 
He would have said, " Friend, I have a spare 
seat in the carriage here — will you not get in 
and ride a little way ?" He would then have 
cheerfully and socially conversed with the man, 
and manifested some interest in his history. 
And when the man left the carriage, and thanked 
him for the ride, he would have replied, " You 
are very welcome, sir. I am very happy to 
have had it in my power to assist you. Good 
evening, sir/' This manner of conferring the 
favor would have cheered and gratified the 
lame man, and he would have gone to his home 
with happy feelings. 

It is surprising what a vast amount of happi- 
ness may be conferred in a long life, by a kind 
manner of doing kind things. It is by a care- 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 253 

ful attention to these little things, as some con- 
sider them, that we are to make those happy 
who are around us. As our whole life is made 
up of such little things as moments, so is the 
happiness or the unhappiness of life dependent 
upon the pains or pleasures with which these 
swiftly-flying moments may be filled. And it 
is invariably true, that, that person is the hap- 
piest, who does the most to promote the happi- 
ness of others. 

A selfish man is always an unhappy man. 
And a selfish child is always an unhappy child : 
as she sits alone in her corner, eating her apple, 
which she refuses to share with brother or sister ; 
as she eagerly takes the most comfortable chair 
in the room; as she grasps the new book, re- 
solved to have the pleasure of reading it first, 
— she is, and must be, unhappy. Conscience 
within her is disquieted, and her countenance 
shows in its unamiable expression what an un- 
comfortable heart she has. And just so it is 
with those, who have passed the period of child- 
hood. The man or woman who has grown up 
with a selfish spirit, is friendless and joyless. 
Such persons are often to be seen. They live 
as it were alone in the world. They love no 
one, and no one loves them. And, after a heart- 
less life, they die, and no one laments them- 



254 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

Let children be trained up then to cultivate 
a courteous spirit, to speak in kind tones of 
voice, to use a gentle and pleasant way of do- 
ing kind things, and it will promote their hap- 

' piness every day that they live. It will tend 
to make all around them happy. Others will 
imitate their example, and imbibe their spirit. 
The spirit of politeness will vastly increase 
our influence too in turning others to the Sa- 
vior. It will confer honor upon the religion of 
Christ ; for the world judges of Christianity, not 
so much by the instructions of the Savior, as by 
the lives of its professors. 

There is nothing in this world worth having 
which can be attained without effort. If you 
would possess the grace of Christian politeness, 
you must make it a part of your Christian duty 
and a subject of prayer. You must resolve in 
the morning, that you will endeavor through the 
day kindly to manifest kind feelings. And at 
night, in self-examination, you must inquire 

1 where you have failed in this duty ; what op- 
portunities you have enjoyed where you might 
have contributed to the happiness of others, but 
in which you have failed to do so. This is the 
true spirit of heaven. If we are ever to enter 
heaven, we must have this spirit. And it is 
here, in this world of sin, that we are to triumph 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 255 

over temptation, and subdue passion, and at- 
tain all those lovely traits of character which 
will make us happy companions for angels, and 
for the spirits of the just made perfect. 

5. Fidelity in little duties. One great error 
which nearly all Christians fall into, is not be- 
ing sufficiently punctilious in the performance 
of what are usually called the little duties of life. 
We are not sufficiently careful to carry out the 
principles of Christianity into all our relations 
as husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, 
parents and children, neighbors and friends. If 
you, my reader, whatever your situation in life 
may be, have sincerely commenced a Christian 
life, you must make it your daily effort to please 
God in the performance of every duty, small 
and great. And it is by your attention to 
things which many persons deem trivial, that 
you can most effectually glorify God. 

Children particularly are apt to imagine that 
religious obligation is something far removed 
above all the ordinary duties of life. They sel- 
dom connect the idea of Christian duty with 
such subjects as order, personal neatness, po- 
liteness, and other similar points of what are 
called sometimes minor morals. But you can 
not too assiduously teach them that the princi- 
ple of piety, if they possess it at all, is to reg- 



256 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

ulate all their conduct, and lead them to do 
right in little things as well as great things. 

In fact, the little things, with children, are 
the great things ; for in their various bearings 
and relations they involve the highest moral 
principles. Here is a boy for instance, whose 
mother has appropriated to his use a couple of 
drawers, in which he is to keep his clothes ; 
and she has enjoined it upon him to have his 
clothes neatly folded, and always placed in or- 
der. Some day she goes into his room, and, as 
she opens the drawers, behold, every thing is in 
disorder. In haste to get some article of cloth- 
ing, the boy has rudely drawn it out, and 
thrown other things in, unfolded, and now every 
thing is in confusion. The mother is deeply 
pained that her son should be forming such negli- 
gent habits. It has sent an emotion of real un- 
happiness to her heart. Her own valuable time 
is occupied in repairing the effects of his indo- 
ence and neglect, and the boy himself is grow- 
ing up with habits which will extremely dimin- 
ish his efficiency and usefulness as a man. And 
now that can not be called a little sin, which 
produces such consequences, which makes a 
mother unhappy, and increases her cares and 
labors, and which is forming in the child habits 
which will render him unfit for the future du- 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 257 

ties of life. As well may a man who sets fire 
to a city, say that it is a little sin, because he 
merely kindled a very little fire with a few coals. 
Teach children then that the eye of God is 
upon them in every thing that they do ; and 
that if they really love him, and wish to please 
him, they will endeavor to be faithful in all 
their duties, and in small things as well as great. 

The mother must feel this truth herself also 
and apply it to her own case. Few persons 
imagine how much ones usefulness and happi- 
ness in life depend upon their cultivating a 
habit of neatness, order, and system, in all that 
they do. Some ladies will accomplish twice 
as much all through life as some others, simply 
because, in their childhood, they acquired the 
habit of keeping every thing in its proper place. 
Go into their house, and every thing appears in 
order. There is no hurry or bustle. There 
seems to be no effort in keeping things in order. 
Other ladies, who have been trained up under 
different habits, either give up in despair, and 
indolently sit down in the midst of the confusion 
which reigns in their house, or they toil and 
hurry through life, never enjoying any quiet- 
ness or leisure, and always engaged in putting 
things in order, but never able to keep them so. 

Do not, then, allow children to imagine that 

it 



258 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

it is a little sin to be untidy or negligent. It is 
one of the most important of their duties to cul- 
tivate correct habits in these respects. Teach 
them that they may thus please God, gratify 
their parents, adorn religion, and not only pre- 
pare for future usefulness, but be useful every 
day and every hour. 

We are very apt to think that if we were in 
some situation different from that in which we 
are actually placed, we might do a great deal 
of good. The young often suppose that if they 
were out in the world, they might, in various 
ways, as men and women, serve their Maker ; 
but they imagine that they can not do much, if 
any thing, to serve God and promote his glory, 
unless in some important station. But God 
wishes to have his friends placed in all the dif- 
ferent positions in society, that the power of reli- 
gion may be exhibited in all. He desires that 
there should be merchants, and mechanics, and 
sailors, pious fathers and mothers, and pious 
children. And the child who is pious, may as 
acceptably serve God in the situation in which 
she is placed, as any other persons in the situa- 
tion in which God has placed them. It is not 
the station in society that we occupy, to which 
God looks, but the fidelity with which we dis- 
charge the duties of the position in which he 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 259 

has placed us. And the faithful, Christian con- 
duct, even of the smallest child, is as acceptable 
to him, and perhaps as useful in the accomplish- 
ment of his purposes, as the zeal and energy of 
the most devoted Christian martyr. 

Teach these things diligently to your chil- 
dren, and train them up in the habit of neatness 
and order in all that they do. When they come 
home from school, let them be taught always 
themselves to hang up the cap, the bonnet, and 
the cloak in their proper places ; and to put 
their books away. Teach them to shut the 
door after them when they pass out or in. 
Teach them to keep all their picture-books and 
playthings in order. Show them that it is their 
duty to attend to all these little things, not as 
matters of trifling importance, but as Christian 
duties of the greatest moment, demanding con- 
stant watchfulness and care. 

These are the ways in which God wishes 
that the young should evince the power of reli- 
gion, and glorify him. It is by a conscientious 
attention to such duties as these, performed be- 
cause they wish to do that which is pleasing in 
God's sight, that they are to exhibit the fruits 
of piety. They must aim, every day, to acquire 
a character of perfect fidelity in the performance 
of all these duties ; remembering that nothing 



260 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

which tends to the perfection of character is 
too trivial to call for their efforts and their 
prayers. The best evidence which either the 
aged or the young can give of piety, is the con- 
scientious endeavor to be faithful in the dis- 
charge of every duty, whatever it may be. 
Thus we glorify God, and honor the Christian 
religion, in the best manner. 

This is what is meant by the text, " By their 
fruits shall ye know them." The way in which 
we are to judge of the piety of all persons, is by 
their conduct. If a man or woman professes 
to be a Christian, and yet is unfaithful in the 
discharge of the ordinary duties of life, the pro- 
fession is vain. It is so in youth, and it is so 
in age. The best evidence of piety which any 
one can give, is the evidence afforded by the 
devout Christian fidelity with which he performs 
all the duties of life, both great and small. 



CHAPTER X. 

FRUITS OF PIETY CONTINUED. 

We continue in this chapter the enumeration 
of the several traits of Christian character, 
which the mother should endeavor to cultivate 
in herself, and in those under her charge. 

1. Guard against a censorious spirit. A 
censorious spirit is a very common sin. And 
it is one to which females, from their compara- 
tively retired mode of life, are peculiarly ex- 
posed. There is hardly any sin against which 
the Bible warns us in more earnest and impres- 
sive terms. The evils and mischiefs produced 
by an ungoverned tongue — the ruin it produces 
in alienating friends, kindling animosities, and 
disturbing in every way the peace and harmony 
of society — are topics which have called forth 
some of the most energetic expressions of the 
inspired penmen. 

" The tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. 
So is the tongue among our members, that it 
defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the 



262 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

course of nature, and is set on fire of hell." 
" If any man among you seem to be religious, 
and bridleth not his tongue, this man's religion 
is vain." 

Such are the terms in which the sacred wri- 
ters speak of the importance of setting a guard 
upon one's tongue. One single person, of a 
censorious disposition, will often keep a whole 
church or neighborhood in turmoil. And every 
reader of this book has probably often seen 
great unhappiness produced by the unkind re- 
marks or slanderous reports which others have 
circulated. Indeed, there are very few persons 
who have not often had hours of suffering to 
bear in consequence of unguarded remarks 
which they have made, and which have, per- 
haps, been slightly exaggerated, and carried to 
other ears, by those who are always ready to 
do mischief. Solomon tells us that if one 
speaks evil of the king, the " bird of the air 
shall carry the voice, and that which hath 
wings shall tell the matter ;" by which poetic 
expressions he would teach us, that there is al- 
ways some one ready to carry evil tidings. If 
you say any thing against another person, it is 
very probable it will be repeated, with exaggera- 
tions, to that individual. One will repeat it to 
another, till the story, gathering in size as it 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 263 

goes, like the balls of snow which boys roll to- 
gether in the early spring, reaches the ear of 
the person against whom the remark was made. 
Then ensues recrimination, unkind treatment, 
a quarrel. Others are drawn in. And it may 
be truly said, in the language of the Bible, 
"Behold how great a matter a little fire kin- 
dleth!" The amount of suffering which is 
caused in this world, simply by evil speaking, is 
inconceivable. Every school, every church, 
every neighborhood, is ravaged by it. A very 
little observation will show you how great is 
this evil. 

Let the mother explain this subject to her 
children, and caution them against this danger. 
Lead them to form the resolution that they will 
never allow themselves to speak against any 
one, unless it is clearly their duty to do so. 
Set them a good example, too, yourselves in 
this respect. Resolve that you will nip a cen- 
sorious spirit in the very bud. If you do this, 
it will save you hours of suffering. If, on the 
other hand, you allow yourself to speak freely 
of the faults of others — if you report the vari- 
ous stories you hear — you will be continually 
in trouble yourself, and will always be involv- 
ing other persons in difficulty. Resolve that 
you will not say any thing against any absent 



264 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

person — except in cases where it is most un- 
doubtedly your duty to do so — which you 
would not be willing to have repeated to that- 
person. 

There are cases in which it is our duty to 
speak of the characters of others, and, if their 
characters are bad, to say so. It may be our 
duty to warn our children against a vicious and 
dangerous acquaintance. And when such an 
occasion clearly arises, we must faithfully per- 
form the duty, however unpleasant it may be. 
But such cases are comparatively rare, while 
the fault of evil speaking is one of the most 
general and inexcusable in the world. 

When this habit has once been formed, it is 
almost impossible to eradicate it. A person 
who has become a thorough gossip, retailing 
all the slander which she can collect, is almost 
beyond the hope of amendment. She will, 
without the least compunction of conscience, 
throw suspicions upon the fairest reputation. 
No character is secure from her backbiting as- 
sailment. She becomes blind to her own de- 
graded character, as the village gossip and 
slanderer. It is surprising how unconscious 
such a person may be of her odious fault. 
When she hears any thing about evil speaking, 
she has been so much in the habit of looking 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 265 

at the faults of others, and not at her own, that 
she does not think of making any self-applica- 
tion, but looks around to see upon whom of her 
neighbors she can lay the charge. 

We have all so many faults of our own to 
mourn over and to correct, that we should be 
exceedingly tender of the failings of others. 
And when we see any thing in the conduct of 
our friends or acquaintances, which is wrong 
or disagreeable, we should try to avoid those 
things ourselves, and at the same time be very 
careful and not mention them to others. It is 
one of the best compliments which can be paid 
to any lady, to say of her that she was never 
known to speak ill of others. Resolve, with 
the grace of God assisting, that this shall be 
your character, and make every effort to form 
the same character in your children. Show 
them that such a habit will multiply their 
friends ; that it will save them many hours of 
heart-ache ; and that, all their life long, it will 
greatly add to their usefulness and their enjoy- 
ment. 

2. Teach your children to cultivate, as one 
of the fruits of piety, scrupulous delicacy and 
purity of mind. The conscience of children 
will be a very sensitive guide upon this subject, 
if it is in a healthy state. Teach them that any 



266 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

conversation which they would be unwilling to 
engage in, or to repeat in the presence of their 
mother, they ought to refuse to hear. If their 
associates at any time commence such conver- 
sation, they ought to leave them at all hazards, 
whether they are offended by it or not. They 
can not be too careful respecting the words that 
they use, or the ideas that they allow to enter 
their minds. The delicacy of the mind is very 
easily impaired, and, when once impaired, the 
injury is irreparable. Even in the higher walks 
of life females are often met with who seem to 
have no sense of propriety. They are always 
introducing topics of conversation which are 
revolting to the refined mind, while they them- 
selves have become so obtuse in their feelings, 
that they appear entirely unconscious of any 
impropriety. Other ladies have an instinctive 
modesty and delicacy, which is their brightest 
ornament. You never hear from them a word, 
or an allusion, which is not pure and pleasing. 
The appropriate simplicity of their dress, the 
softened tones of their voice, the topics of con- 
versation which they infroduce, and the gentle 
expression of countenance, all unite in testify- 
ing the spotless purity that reigns in their hearts. 
Who can see such a lady, and not esteem and 
love her? The indelicate of either sex are 



FRUITS OP PIETY. 267 



rebuked by her presence. Even indelicate 
ladies (if it be not a perversion of language to 
call one a lady who has an impure mind) are 
careful, in her presence, to put a guard upon 
their tongues. 

" Keep thy heart with all diligence," is one 
of the cautions which God has given us, and 
the happiness of every young Christian depends 
more upon the cultivation of this virtue, than 
we often imagine. To find, as we go on through 
life, that our thoughts naturally dwell upon ob- 
jects which are pure and pleasant, will be one 
of the richest sources of our earthly enjoy- 
ment. We must necessarily pass many, very 
many hours in life, with our own thoughts. If 
our thoughts are such that they give us un- 
easiness of conscience, and we must be con- 
tinually struggling against them, we shall have 
many days of secret, but real sorrow. If, on 
the other hand, by a careful cultivation of the 
heart, we have cherished only those thoughts 
which conscience approves, we shall probably 
move about, in our daily employments, in tran- 
quil happiness. 

Explain these principles to your children, 
and endeavor to lead them to resolve that they 
will not at school, or anywhere else, engage in 
conversation, or listen to conversation, which 



268 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

they would not be willing to repeat in the 
presence of their father and their mother. Let 
that be with them the test of propriety. Say 
to them that if at any time they are in doubt, 
whether the conversation which they are hear- 
ing is proper or not, they must ask themselves, 
" Am I willing to repeat this to the family, at 
the tea-table, this evening? If they are not, 
then they must refuse to hear it. If they can 
not turn the conversation, they should leave the 
company. Teach them to remember that God 
is always present ; that his eye is upon them ; 
that he hears every word that is uttered ; that 
he sees every thought of the heart, and that as 
they prize his approbation, they must resolve 
to cherish, with the utmost care, purity of 
heart. 

3. A very scrupulous observance of truth 
should be one of the prominent fruits of piety. 
To some it may seem that this is almost a need- 
less direction. In fact parents are very slow to 
be convinced that their children ever tell false- 
hoods at all. It is an almost invariable rule, 
that all mothers believe that their children al- 
ways speak the truth, and it is a rule almost 
equally invariable, that they are all mistaken. 
Children generally will say what is false, until 
they are taught to speak the truth. Sometimes 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 269 

they are thus taught very early ; and in such 
cases the mother, forgetting the infantile false- 
hoods, says that she never knew her child to tell 
a lie. 

Even in later years it will not do generally 
to trust to any natural love of truth, to save 
our children from the sin of falsehood. We 
must often, in our conversations with them, 
present this subject to their attention, not in 
the way of suspicion and fault-finding, but of 
confidence and good- will. We must explain to 
them how God regards the sin of falsehood, and 
cite and explain those passages of Scripture 
which relate to the subject. 

The mother must herself, also, always be 
honest, and frank, and open, in all her dealings 
with all her children. Never combine, as 
many mothers do, with an older child, to de- 
ceive a younger one. If you do you must ex- 
pect that your children will combine together 
to deceive you. Be honest with them all ; and 
in your dealings with your friends, and neigh- 
bors, and acquaintances, be open and sincere. 
Thus you will lead your children in the right 
way. 

4. The spirit of forgiveness is one of the 
fruits of piety. The mother must cultivate this 
spirit herself, and inculcate it upon her children. 



270 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

Teach them that the rule of Christianity is, 
" Forgive your enemies, and do good to those 
that despitefully use you and persecute you/' 

The mother must inculcate this principle, 
like all the others, by her own example. And 
next to her own example, the narration of in- 
stances of a forgiving spirit will have a greater 
influence upon children, than any general pre- 
cepts or exhortations. 

I will here, for example, relate such an in- 
stance. There was once a rich merchant who 
had many peculiarities of character which ex- 
posed him to ridicule. He was a benevolent 
man, but he was of such eccentric habits, that 
a witty writer could easily represent him in a 
ludicrous light. 

A certain neighbor of his, without any just 
provocation, published a most insulting pamph- 
let against him, calling him Billy Button, and 
holding him up to the laughter of the world, in 
the most contemptuous and ludicrous attitude 
in which he could be represented. The publi- 
cation of such a pamphlet was as gross and 
cutting an insult as could be inflicted, for there 
is nothing that the human mind so much recoils 
from, as derision and scorn. The merchant 
read the libelous pamphlet, and simply remark- 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 271 

ed that the writer would probably live to re- 
pent of its publication. 

Some one informed the writer of the pamph- 
let of the remark that the merchant had made. 
He considered it as an angry threat of ven- 
geance, and said that he would take good care 
to keep out of the merchant's power. But in a 
few years, in the course of business, the writer 
of the libel unavoidably became deeply indebted 
to the merchant, whom he had so wantonly in- 
jured, and became a bankrupt. The injured 
man now had his insulter in his power. For 
unless he would give up the debt, the writer 
could never enter into business again, and 
must always remain a poor man. 

By much exertion and after many delays, the 
unfortunate debtor effected a settlement of his af- 
fairs, and obtained a release from his other cred- 
itors ; but how could he go to the merchant 
whom he had made the laughing-stock of the 
public, and who had declared that the libeler 
would yet live to repent of his publication ? It 
seemed folly to hope that he would forget the 
wrong, and favor the wrong-doer. But the 
claims of a suffering wife and children at last 
compelled him to make the application. Hum- 
bled by misery, he presented himself at the 



272 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 




FORGIVENESS. 



counting-room of 
the injured mer- 
chant. The. mer- 
chant was at his 
desk alone, and as 
he turned around 
and saw his libeler 
before him, his first 
words were, " Take 
a seat, sir." The 
guilty man, trem- 
bling with appre- 
hension of the re- 
pulse which he so 
richly deserved, told the piteous tale of his mis- 
fortunes, and presented his certificate of release, 
signed by his other creditors, though he had but 
a very faint hope of obtaining the signature of 
one he had so deeply wronged. 

The merchant received the certificate, and, 
as he glanced his eye over it, said, "You wrote 
a pamphlet against me once, I believe, sir." 
The wretched man could make no reply. The 
merchant, saying no more, wrote something 
upon the certificate, and handed it back to him. 
The poor debtor in despair received the certifi- 
cate, expecting to find written upon it some- 
thing expressive of indignation. But how 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 273 



great was his surprise to see, in fair, round 
characters, the signature of the merchant, re- 
leasing him from his debt ! " I make it a rule," 
said the forgiving man, " never to refuse sign- 
ing the release of an honest man ; and I never 
heard that you were any thing else." Thet 
surprise and joy were too much for the poor 
creditor, and he burst into tears. " Ah !" said 
the merchant, "my saying was true. I said 
that you would live to repent writing that pam- 
phlet. I did not mean it as a threat. I only 
meant that some day you would know me bet- 
ter, and would repent that you had attempted 
to injure me. I see that you repent it now." 
"I do, indeed I do," exclaimed the grateful 
man. " Well, well, my dear sir," said the mer- 
chant, " you know me now. How do you get 
on ? What are you going to do ?" 

The unfortunate man replied, that having 
obtained a release from his creditors, he had 
friends who would assist him in getting into 
business again. 

" But how are you to support your family in 
the mean time ?" asked the merchant. 

The man's answer was, that having given 
up every farthing to his creditors, he had been 
compelled to deprive his family of even com- 
mon necessaries. " My dear sir," said the mer- 

S 



274 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

chant, " this will never do — your wife and chil- 
dren must not suffer. Be kind enough to take 
this to your wife from me," handing him a fifty 
dollar bill, "and keep up a good heart. All 
will be well with you yet. Set to work with 
energy, and you may yet see many days of 
prosperity/' The poor man was entirely over- 
come by his emotions. He could not speak. 
His feelings forbade all utterance, and burying 
his face in his handkerchief, he went from the 
room sobbing like a child. 

Stories which afford practical illustrations of 
any moral principle, will generally exert a more 
powerful influence upon the minds of children 
than general instructions. The minds of the 
hearers catch the spirit which the story exem- 
plifies by a sort of moral sympathy. 

The mother who is aware of this, will, in her 
general reading, watch for incidents and pas- 
sages which she can turn to good account in 
interesting and instructing her children. These 
she will read and explain to them at proper 
times, and enforce the lessons which they are 
calculated to teach, by additional remarks of 
her own. 

Teach your children thus in every way to 
cultivate a forgiving spirit. Tell them that this 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 275 

is the spirit of the Bible, the spirit of Christ. 
No one who has any other spirit can safely 
offer the prayer, " Forgive us our debts as we 
forgive our debtors." 

5. Cultivate in your children a taste for 
pure and noble pleasures, instead of a love of '. 
worldly gayety. 

Pure and noble pleasures last. They wear 
well. They leave no sting behind. The pleas- 
ures of worldliness and gayety do not wear well. 
They exhaust the powers of body and mind, 
and all the capacities of enjoyment, prematurely, 
and leave a sting behind. That is the reason 
why the Word of God condemns them, and why 
Christians abstain from them. 

There is hardly any reproach more frequently 
cast upon Christians than the charge of bigotry, 
because they refuse to unite with the world in 
these scenes of gayety. They are invited to a 
ball, to the theater, or to a card-party, and yet 
no persuasions can induce them to go. 

" What can be the possible harm," it is said, 
" in going to a ball ?" We go to a brightly- 
illuminated hall. We have pleasant music to 
gratify the ear. In graceful measures we beat 
time to its cadences in the exhilarating dance. 
After having thus passed a few T hours of heart- 
felt hilarity, we retire unharmed to our homes. 



276 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

" Now, what real objection can there be to this 
amusement," it is asked, " which is not founded 
on ignorance and superstition ?" 

This is a very important question, and it de- 
serves a very serious answer. To explain my 
views upon this subject, let me suppose that you 
have a son nineteen years of age, a very amia- 
ble, correct, and promising young man. He is 
the hope of the family ; attentive to his father 
and mother, kind to his sisters ; all love him. 
He is a clerk in a store, and is highly respected 
by his employers. As you have known many 
amiable young men, in such situations, ruined 
by dissipation, you feel great solicitude for him. 
He has so little of selfishness in his nature, and 
is so willing to sacrifice his own inclinations to 
oblige others, that, while he thus promises to be 
one of the best and most useful of men, he is 
much exposed to be led away by temptation. 

Like an affectionate and dutiful son, as he is, 
he comes to his father some day, and says to 
him, " Father, there is to be a ball to-night. All 
my acquaintances are going, and, if you have 
no objection, I should like to go also." 

" Well, my son," says his father, " what time 
does the ball commence ?" 

" Between eight and nine o'clock in the eve- 
ning," he replies. 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 277 

" And at what hour will it close ?" the father 
asks. 

" They tell me/' the son answers, " that they 
will probably go home between two and three 
o'clock in the morning." 

" I suppose that wine will be circulated very 
freely on the occasion ; will it not, my son ?" 

" Why, yes, sir ; I suppose so ; but I hope 
that I have resolution enough not to be guilty 
of any excess." 

" I trust that you have, my son. But do you 
know of any who are going to the ball who 
have the reputation of being intemperate ?" 

" Yes, sir ; there will be several there who 
are known to drink too much wine/' 

" Will there be many present who are con- 
sidered generally dissolute in their habits ; so 
much so that you would not like to have them 
for your acquaintances ?" 

" There will be some such, sir, I suppose." 

" It is rather dangerous," the father rejoins, 
"for a young man to be thrown into such com- 
pany, in the midst of all the excitements of mu- 
sic, and dancing, and wine. It will not be easy 
to shake off acquaintances you may necessarily 
form there. 

" I suppose, of course, too," adds the father, 



278 THE MOTHER AT HOME, 



" that they have card-playing in some of the 



rooms." 



"Yes, sir." 

" Do they play for money ?" 

" Some of them I believe do, sir, for small 



sums." 



" It is not uncommon," the father replies, 
" under such circumstances, for persons to com- 
mence with small sums and go on to greater. 
Under the stimulus of play and wine, they 
plunge deeper and deeper into the game, till the 
dawn of morning finds them still with the cards 
in their hands. Many a young man in these 
scenes, commences the road to ruin. I have in 
my experience known a great number thus lost 
to virtue, and who have brought hopeless 
shame upon their parents and friends. 

" You say, my son, that the ball will break up 
about three o'clock in the morning. You can, 
perhaps, get home and to your bed at half-past 
three. You must rise at six o'clock in the 
morning to get the store opened in season. 
This allows you two hours and a half for sleep 
— sleep which, from the previous excitement 
must be feverish and unrefreshing. 

" I counsel you therefore, my son," the father 
continues, "not to go. By going into such 
scenes you will be exposed to many tempta- 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 279 

tions — the excitement of wine— the excitement 
of many dangerous passions. You can hardly 
avoid forming many very undesirable acquaint- 
ances. You will be invited to the gaming-ta- 
ble, and may thus commence the acquisition of 
a taste for all the excitements of gambling. 

"Many may be there, who, having no pleas- 
ures except those of fashionable dissipation, will 
be glad to secure you as an associate. Invita- 
tions will multiply upon you. When a young 
man once enters this vortex, it is difficult to get 
out again. When you go to the store in the 
morning, you will be languid and spiritless ; all 
your energies will be exhausted. With aching 
head, and bloodshot eyes, and trembling limbs, 
you will have a day of mental depression, which 
will much more than counterbalance all the en- 
joyment of the night, and which will greatly dis- 
qualify you from discharging your duty to your 
employers. 

" It is for these reasons," the father con- 
tinues, " that your parents are unwilling to have 
you enter such scenes. We are satisfied that, 
on the whole, instead of increasing, they greatly 
diminish, the amount of human happiness. It 
is on this account that we have always been 
desirous that neither you nor your sisters should 
acquire a taste for these pleasures; for our own 



280 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

observation, as well as the testimony of the wise 
and the good in all ages, has taught us that 
these amusements, by breaking in upon the reg- 
ular and peaceful enjoyment of domestic life, 
expose those who engage in them to great temp- 
tation, and by prematurely exhausting the men- 
tal and bodily powers, and undermining the 
constitution, seriously interfere with future 
happiness, and lead to imminent danger. 

"And when our neighbors have wondered 
that we should so carefully keep you away from 
such scenes of gayety — from amusements which 
to them appeared innocent and pleasing — we 
have replied, that it was our conviction, that 
we could make you far happier by cultivating 
in your heart a taste for a totally different class 
of pleasures. 

" Such pleasures, too, always leave a sting be- 
hind them. Discontent and dissatisfaction al- 
ways take possession of the soul, after a scene 
of unseasonable and excessive gayety. This is 
always the case, in all ranks and conditions of 
life. Madame de Genlis, who moved in the 
highest circles of Parisian life, and was familiar 
with the gayeties of the Palais Royal, in the 
highest of its splendor, remarked that the days 
which succeeded brilliant entertainments were 
always melancholy. 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 281 

" Therefore, my son," the father continues, 
"I counsel you not to go. Persevere in the 
plan of life which you have heretofore laid down 
for yourself. Come home, and spend the eve- 
ning in quiet enjoyment with your mother, or 
your sisters ; or by the perusal of some interest- 
ing volume from the library, acquire a taste for 
reading, and store your mind with useful knowl- 
edge. At your usual hour retire to rest. You 
will then rise in the morning fresh and vigorous, 
and in good spirits you will go to your duties. 
And as you see your associate in the adjoining 
store, who attended the ball, dozing in dejection, 
and lounging the live-long day at his desk, you 
will be thankful that you were more wise than 
to sacrifice so much substantial good for a few 
hours of midnight merriment. 

"By persevering in this course/' the father 
continues, " you will more effectually secure to 
yourself the confidence of business men. Your 
credit will be better. Your prospects in life 
will be better. You will soon be able to have 
a home of your own. You will make that home 
more happy. Your life will glide away with 
far less danger of your falling before the power 
of temptation ; and, consequently, there will be 
a far brighter prospect of your enjoying eternal 
happiness beyond the grave." 



282 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

This is, in the main, the argument upon 
which Christians rely, and have relied, during 
all past ages, against the amusements and 
gayeties of the world. They are fully convinced 
that he who acquires a taste for such pleasures, 
will find his earthly happiness greatly impaired, 
and will be exposed to temptations which will 
greatly endanger his eternal well-being. 

I have dwelt upon this subject more fully, be- 
cause the young, unexperienced in the dangers 
of the world, often wonder why their pious pa- 
rents are so unwilling that they should acquire a 
fondness for amusements which appear so inno- 
cent and pleasing. But I think that any in- 
genuous boy or girl, of fourteen or fifteen years 
of age, may see the force of the above consid- 
erations, and may be satisfied that Christians 
have not, in their decision upon this subject, 
acted without good reasons. 

And here I do not intend to enter into the 
question whether these amusements might not 
be so far improved and refined as to obviate all 
objections against them. I wish to refer to 
them as they now are, and as they ever have 
been, and as there is every prospect that they 
will continue to be. 

They are all of the same general character, 
leading to peculiar temptations, from the in- 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 283 

diligence of bad passions, and the exposure of 
those who engage in them to unworthy asso- 
ciates. They all tend to destroy the taste for 
those quiet, domestic enjoyments, which, when 
cultivated, grow brighter and brighter every 
year, and which confer increasing solace and 
joy when youth has fled, and old age, and sick- 
ness, and misfortune come. Christian parents 
endeavor to guard their children against ac- 
quiring a taste for these pleasures, because they 
foresee that these amusements will, in the end, 
disappoint them ; and they can lead them in a 
safer path, and one infinitely more promotive 
of their happiness. 

We have contemplated the influence of one 
of these scenes of gayety upon a young man. 
Let us now consider its effects upon a mother 
of a family, or a young lady. 

In the first place in the mere preparation for 
any assembly of worldly gayety and dissipation, 
many hours are taken from the peaceful routine 
of ordinary duties, in devotion to dress. Then 
the temptation is almost irresistible, from the 
strong rivalry which is called into exercise, to 
make expenditures which can not well be af- 
forded. And then, when the midnight scene of 
gayety is at its height, and music's voluptuous 
swell is loudest, and the smile on every cheek 



284 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

is least clouded, how many secret sources of 
chagrin are necessarily fostered, though stu-. 
diously concealed ! The spirit of the occasion 
has the strongest tendency to call into exercise 
the passions of envy and rivalry. The superior 
dress of one lady, the superior beauty of another, 
the comparative neglect with which one is 
treated, and the excessive attention which an- 
other receives, constitute the most fruitful 
source of vanity, on the one side, and of heart- 
burnings and mortifications on the other. The 
very nature of the enjoyment, and the whole 
spirit of the occasion, have the most direct 
tendency to call these feelings into active exer- 
cise. There is no place in which the uncom- 
fortable feelings of the heart are so frequently 
and so paiftfully excited, as in gay, glittering 
assemblies. To use the familiar language of 
the poet, 

" Though the cheek may be tinged with a warm, sunny smile, 
The cold heart to ruin runs on darkly the while." 

And when, long after midnight, fevered with 
the heated room and the exciting exercise, a 
mother or her daughter returns to her home, 
how poorly is she prepared for the duties of 
devotion ! In how unsuitable a frame of mind 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 



285 



is she, acceptably to commune with God, and 
to commend herself anew, with an affectionate 
and a humble heart, to his service. 

And then when another morning dawns, all 
the concerns of the family are in disorder. At 
a late hour she rises unrefreshed from her 
pillow. During the whole day she feels de- 
pressed in spirits, and unable to engage, with 
any satisfaction, in life's ordinary duties. It 
often requires one 
or two days of lan- 
guor and dejection 
for the system to 
recover its tone, 
from the exhaus- 
tion of the few 
hours of midnight 
revelry. Even al- 
lowing the pleas- 
urable emotions of 
the convivial hours 
to be as great as 
any one will ven- 
ture to estimate them, the enjoyment must be 
considered as far more than counterbalanced 
by the physical and intellectual reaction which 
necessarily ensues. 

And when we go a little farther ; when we 




THE REACTION. 



286 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

consider the inevitable termination of this life 
of pleasure ; when we contemplate the victim 
— for victim we must consider her — of a gay 
and fashionable life, after having passed through 
the period of youth and vigor, with her suscep- 
tibilites to these excitements worn out — her 
mind and heart satiated with those pursuits, and 
yet with no taste formed for more solid and 
satisfying joys — we regard her with the deepest 
commiseration, as an impressive warning for all 
the young to avoid those quicksands, upon 
which her happiness has been so fatally stranded. 

When we turn to the Bible, to the character 
of our Savior and his apostles, we find these 
views confirmed even by the weight of inspira- 
tion ; so much so, indeed, that even the idea of 
our Savior, or the apostle Paul, taking an ac- 
tive part in such scenes, is so shocking to our 
feelings, that the very supposition is almost ir- 
reverent. And why is it that one shrinks from 
such an idea, but because the spirit of the Bible 
is so diametrically opposed to these amusements, 
that the mind recoils from the thought of con- 
necting them with sacred personages ? 

And when we inquire of human testimony, 
we hear but one voice, which comes down from 
all past time, and from every nation, in attesta- 
tion of the folly of a life of pleasure. There 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 28? 

are thousands now in our churches, who were 
once the devotees of gayety ; and they will tell 
you, without a contradicting voice, that, since 
they have abandoned their former pursuits, and 
sought happiness in different objects, and culti- 
vated a taste for different pleasures, they have 
found peace and satisfaction, which they never 
knew before ; and they have no more disposi- 
tion to turn back to these gayeties, than they 
have to resume the rattles of babyhood. 

It is quite important that the young should 
understand the true reason of the decision, to 
which Christians have come upon this subject. 
It is not a gloomy and morose spirit that dic- 
tates this decision, or any desire to prohibit 
real pleasures. But we see that these gayeties 
are, in the end, promotive of far more sorrow 
than happiness, and therefore we wish all whom 
we love, to walk in those ways of wisdom, 
which are pleasantness, and in those paths which 
are peace. 

And hence, if parents would, in their own 
lives and in the lives of their children, bring 
forth the peaceable and joyful fruits of right- 
eousness, they must avoid these scenes of gay- 
ety. You must carefully guard against culti- 
vating a taste for such pleasures. There are, 
in this world, many regions of enjoyment, 



288 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

where one may walk in safety. There are 
many joys which are improving to the heart, 
and which afford increasing happiness amid the' 
infirmities of old age and approaching death — 
joys which, in the morning of life, are like the 
morning sunshine, and, in the evening of our 
days, are like the serene and golden hues of a 
summer sunset. There are the joys of well- 
cultivated affections, of an improving mind, of 
friends, and love of home, of social converse at 
the quiet fireside, of the flower-garden, of the 
domestic animal feeding from the hand it loves, 
of the twilight walk in solitude or company, 
of visiting the sick, and cheering the despond- 
ing. There are enough sources of enjoyment 
which God has opened to us in this world, 
which are purifying in their nature, and which 
leave no sting behind. It is not necessary for 
us to search for happiness in dangerous and for- 
bidden paths. 

In all the ways pointed out in this chapter, 
* the mother must endeavor to train up her chil- 
dren in the service of God. These are the 
practical duties of Christianity — duties which 
bring with them their own reward. There is 
no other path to heaven than that which is here 
pointed out — reliance upon an atoning Savior 
for the forgiveness of past sin, and faithful en- 



FRUITS OF PIETY. 289 

deavors to live a devout and holy life. They 
who will diligently and faithfully pursue such a 
course, will find the Savior's yoke indeed easy, 
and his burden light. Duty will continually 
become more easy and more pleasant. The 
propensities and passions, whose unrestrained 
dominion so often mar the peace of others, will 
cease to trouble them, — being subdued by di- 
vine grace,— and they will go on their way re- 
joicing to the end. 

T 



CHAPTER XI 



RESULTS. 



Frequent allusion has been made in the pre- 
ceding chapters, to the fatal consequences 
which must attend the neglect of duty. In 
view of this, some parents may have been op- 
pressed and dejected. It is most surely true 
that the misconduct of children subjects the 
parents to the utmost intensity of suffering. 
But it must be remembered, that when parental 
faithfulness is attended with its usual blessing, 
joys, nearer akin to those of heaven than of 
earth, are the result. The human heart is not 
susceptible of more exquisite pleasures than the 
parental relation affords. Is there no joy when 
the mother first presses her infant to her heart ? 
T s there no delight in witnessing the first placid 
smile which plays upon its cheek ? Yes ! The 
very earliest infancy of the babe brings " rap- 
ture a mother only knows." The very care is 
a delight. And when your little son has passed 
through the dreamy existence of infancy, and 



RESULTS. 291 



is buoyant with the activity and animated with 
the intelligence of childhood, are not new 
sources of pleasure opened to your mind ? Are 
there no thrilling emotions of enjoyment in 
hearing the hearty laugh of your happy boy ; in 
witnessing the unfoldings of his active mind ; in 
feeling his warm kiss and ardent embrace ? Is 
there no delight in seeing your boy run to meet 
you, with his face full of smiles and his heart 
full of love ; and in hearing him, in lisping ac- 
cents, call you mother ? As you receive daily 
new proofs of his affection and obedience, and 
see that his little bosom is animated with a gen- 
erous and a noble spirit, you feel repaid an hun- 
dred fold for all your pain, anxiety, and toil. 
After a few years your children arrive at ma- 
turity, and with that divine blessing which we 
may expect to accompany our prayerful efforts, 
they will be found with generous affections and 
established principles of piety. With what 
emotions do parents then look around upon 
their happy and prosperous family ! They are 
receiving the earthly recompense of reward 
What an affecting sight it is, to see an aged and 
widowed mother leaning upon the firm arm of 
her son, as he accompanies her to the house of 
God ! And how many parents have had their 
declining years cheered by the affectionate at- 



292 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



tentions of a daughter ! Who will so tenderly 
watch over you in sickness as a daughter, whose 
bosom is animated by the principles of piety 




THE DAUGHTER. 



which you have inculcated? Among the 
sweetest earthly joys to be experienced in old 
age, is the joy of looking around upon happy 
and grateful children. The marks of esteem 
and love that you receive from them, will daily 
be rewarding you for all your toil. And when 
your children's children cluster around you, 



RESULTS. 293 



giving unceasing tokens of respect and affection, 
you will find in their caresses the renewal of 
your youth. When all other earthly joys have 
faded, you will find in the little prattlers of the 
fireside untiring enjoyment. 

But there is a scene of still brighter happi- 
ness. The Christian family will meet again. 
Parents and children will be associated in heav- 
en. And when the whole household are happily 
assembled there ; when they sit down together 
in the green pastures and by the still waters ; 
when they go in and out at the mansions which 
God has prepared for them ; then, and not till 
then, will they experience the fullness of the en- 
joyment with which God rewards parental fidel- 
ity. How full of rapture is the thought, that 
the whole family may meet again in the world 
of songs and everlasting joy, where sorrow and 
sighing shall forever flee away ! As from that 
happy state of existence you look back upon 
your pilgrimage on earth, you can never regret 
any labor that you have expended, any sacrifi- 
ces that you have made, any sufferings that you 
have undergone, to train up your children to be 
with you the heirs of a glorious immortality. 
O, there is enough, abundantly enough, to en- 
courage every parent to unwearied exertions ! 
As with the deep emotions of parental love, 



294 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

you look upon the obedient and affectionate 
children who surround your fireside, your 
thoughts may be carried away to enjoyments 
infinitely richer, and forever enduring, in the 
world to come. 

We may be called upon to follow our chil- 
dren to the grave. And heart-rending is such 
an affliction. But if we have reason to believe 
that they have gone to the mansions w r hich the 
Savior has prepared, much of the bitterness of 
the affliction is taken away. They have gone 
home before us. They are sheltered from every 
storm. They are protected from every sorrow\ 
Soaring in angelic flights, and animated with ce- 
lestial joys, they are ready to welcome us when 
God in his own good time shall give us entrance 
to those happy worlds. A gentleman was once 
asked if he had lost any of his children. " No," 
he replied, " I have two in heaven, but have lost 
none/' To a truly Christian family the death 
of any one of its members is but a temporary 
absence, and not an eternal separation. 

2. The influence of mothers has as powerful 
an action upon the welfare of future genera- 
tions, as all other earthly causes combined. 
Thus far the history of the world has been 
composed of the narrations of oppression and 
blood. War has scattered its unnumbered 



RESULTS. 295 



woes. The cry of the oppressed has unceas- 
ingly ascended to heaven. Where are we to 
look for the influence which shall change this 
scene, and fill the earth with the fruits of peace 
and benevolence ? It is to the power of divine 
truth, to Christianity, as taught from a mother's 
lips. In a vast majority of cases the first six or 
seven years of life decide the character of the 
man. If the boy leave the paternal roof uncon- 
trolled, turbulent, and vicious, he will, in all 
probability, rush on in the mad career of self- 
indulgence. There are exceptions ; but these 
exceptions are rare. If, on the other hand, 
your son goes from home accustomed to control 
himself, he will probably retain that habit through 
life. If he has been taught to make sacrifices 
of his own enjoyment that he may promote the 
happiness of those around him, it may be ex- 
pected that he will continue to practice benevo- 
lence, and consequently will be respected, and 
useful, and happy. If he has adopted firm reso- 
lutions to be faithful in all the relations of life, 
he, in all probability, will be a virtuous man 
and an estimable citizen, and a benefactor of 
his race. 

When our land is filled with pious and pat- 
riotic mothers, then will it be filled with virtu- 
ous and patriotic men. The world's redeeming 



296 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

influence, under the blessing of the Holy Spirit, 
must come from a mother's lips. She who was 
first in the transgression, must be yet the prin- 
cipal earthly instrument in the restoration. 
Other causes may greatly aid. Other influ- 
ences must be ready to receive the mind as it 
comes from the mother's hand, and carry it on- 
ward in its improvement. But the mothers of 
our race must be the chief instruments in its 
redemption. This sentiment will bear examin- 
ing ; and the more it is examined, the more 
manifestly true will it appear. It is alike the 
dictate of philosophy and experience. The 
mother who is neglecting personal effort, and 
relying upon other influences for the formation 
of virtuous character in her children, will find, 
when it is too late, that she has fatally erred. 
The patriot, who hopes that schools, and ly- 
ceums, and the general diffusion of knowledge, 
will promote the good order and happiness of 
the community, while family government is 
neglected, will find that he is attempting to 
purify the. streams which are flowing from a 
corrupt fountain. It is maternal influence, after 
all, which must be the great agent, in the hands 
of God, in bringing back our guilty race to duty 
and happiness. O that mothers could feel this 
responsibility as they ought ! Then would the 



RESULTS. 297 



world assume a different aspect. Then should 
we less frequently behold unhappy families and 
broken-hearted parents. A new race of men 
would enter upon the busy scene of life, and 
cruelty and crime would pass away. O moth- 
ers ! reflect upon the power which your Maker 
has placed in your hands ! There is no earthly 
influence to be compared with yours. There 
is no combination of causes so powerful in pro- 
moting the happiness or the misery of our race, 
as the instructions of home. In a most pecu- 
liar sense God has constituted you the guar- 
dians and the controllers of the human family. 

3. Perhaps some one asks, " Is there nothing 
for the fathers to do ?" There certainly is 
much — very much. But this treatise is pre- 
pared to impress upon the mind the duties of 
mothers. Yet, lest it should be inferred from 
what has been written, that the whole duty of 
family government rests upon the mother, I 
would briefly remark, that no father can be 
justified in releasing himself from a full share 
of the responsibility. A father will often make 
many excuses to release himself from his duty ; 
but alas ! he can not release his children from 
the ruin, or himself from the woe, which his 
neglect occasions. It will be a poor solace to 
him, as he goes in shame and sorrow to the 



298 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

grave, to reflect that he was busily engaged in 
other employments while leaving his children, 
to mature for ignominy and disgrace. What 
duties can be paramount to those which we 
owe to our children ? 

A clergyman sometimes says he has so much 
to do, his time is so fully occupied, that he is 
compelled to neglect his children. And who 
has the first claim upon his attention, his con- 
gregation or his children? God has placed 
him over a congregation, and has also made 
him the father of a family, and which duty does 
God regard as most imperative ? And yet not 
a few instances might be pointed out, in which 
clergymen of devoted piety and extensive use- 
fulness, have given their whole attention to 
the labors of the study and to public duties, 
and have left their unhappy children to grow 
up unchecked and vicious. No one can enjoy 
the privilege of being a father, without having 
duties to perform which will require time and 
care. And can any time be more usefully em- 
ployed than that which is passed in training up 
a family of children, who shall remain to do 
good in the world long after we are silent in 
the grave ? Can we have any influence equal 
to that of pious sons and daughters ? Can we 
bequeath to the world a richer legacy than the 



RESULTS. 299 



fervent piety and active usefulness of a numer- 
ous offspring ? O there is no sin which reaches 
so far, and extends such wide-spreading desola- 
tion, as parental neglect. No father can be 
guiltless in retiring from these responsibilities. 
The first duty enjoined upon us, is to keep our 
own hearts with diligence ; the second, to lead 
our families to God ; the third, to consult for 
the spiritual welfare of our neighbors ; the 
fourth, to do all in our power to evangelize the 
world. And yet how many Christian ministers 
have paralyzed their influence, destroyed their 
peace of mind, and broken their hearts, by 
neglecting the duties which they owe to their 
children. 

Many of the most eminent statesmen of the 
land are thus afflicted and dishonored. And 
the affliction must be aggravated by the con- 
sciousness that they are reaping as they have 
sown. I would not willingly inflict a pang 
upon the heart of any parent who reads these 
pages, but I can not refrain from raising a warn- 
ing voice, in view of the destruction which has 
gone forth, and is still going forth, from the 
cause we are now contemplating. The temp- 
tation is very great, for men who are engaged 
in literary pursuits, or overwhelmed with public 
cares, to neglect their domestic duties. But 



300 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

how ruinous is this to usefulness and happiness ! 
It is better to be a poor man, and it is better to 
be an humble man, than to be disgraced in life by 
the profligacy of those who call us father, and 
to have a dying pillow planted w r ith thorns by 
our children's hands. Every man, whatever 
be his situation in life, is bound to regard the 
duties which he owes to his children as among, 
the most sacred that he has to discharge. If 
he neglect them, he must reap the bitter con- 
sequences. 

One other remark I must here make, as it is 
intimately connected with a mother's duty. A 
father should always endeavor to teach his chil- 
dren to honor their mother. If the father does 
not do this, the difficulties of the mother will be 
vastly increased. But where harmony of design 
is seen to exist between the parents, authority 
is strengthened. There is something in loving 
and revering a mother, which exerts a delight- 
ful influence upon the heart; it refines and 
elevates the character; and is a strong safe- 
guard against degrading vice. Boys in par- 
ticular will not long respect a mother, if they 
see that their father does not treat her with at- 
tention. You can hardly find a dissolute young 
man, who has been accustomed from infancy 
to look to his mother with respect and love. It 



RESULTS. 301 



is in disobedience to a mother that the career 
of crime generally commences. The way is 
thus prepared for the disregard of all parental 
authority. And then the progress is rapid to 
the boldest defiance of all the laws of God and 
man. Many an unhappy criminal has, from 
the gallows, traced back his course of guilt to 
the early periods of childhood, when he com- 
menced with disobedience to a mother's com- 
mands ; and he has felt and acknowledged that, 
had he then been habituated to obey them, his 
whole succeeding course had probably been 
different. It is therefore of the first importance 
that nothing should be omitted tending to give 
the mother great and unceasing influence over 
the minds of her children. 

4. The subject of education must be attended 
to with persevering study. And yet how many 
parents neglect this duty ! Nothing surely can 
be of greater importance to the parents and 
child, than a correct system of family govern- 
ment. Every mother admits her need of infor- 
mation. There are many valuable books, easy 
of access, which will afford great assistance. A 
mother should consider it one of her first duties 
to inform herself upon this subject, as far as her 
means will admit. The art of influencing and 
guiding the youthful mind, is susceptible of 



302 THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

almost boundless improvement, and we are un- 
faithful to our children if we do not become fa- 
miliar with the results of the experiments of 
others. We ought not to stumble in darkness, 
when light is shining around us. There are 
fundamental principles in operating upon the 
human mind, as well as in any other science. 
And many an anxious mother has fallen into 
error, to the serious injury of her children, 
which she might have avoided, had she consult- 
ed the sources of information which are at every 
one's hand. 

How great must be the affliction of that moth- 
er, who, in consequence of neglect, has been 
unsuccessful with her family ! She looks upon 
her ruined sons, and reproaches herself with the 
just reflection, that if she had pursued a differ- 
ent course, they might have been her joy and 
blessing. Perhaps even they throw reproaches 
upon her, and attribute all their guilt and 
wretchedness to her bad government. But few 
more miserable men have passed through the 
world than Lord Byron; and he has distinctly 
attributed the formation of his character, and, 
consequently all his crime and woe, to his moth- 
er's unrestrained passions, and neglect of 
proper government. How must such a crimi- 
nation from a dissolute son, pierce the heart of 



RESULTS. 303 



a pious mother ! Knowledge of duty might have 
been attained, but she neglected to attain it, 
and through inexcusable ignorance ruined her 
child. An affectionate mother would be over- 
whelmed with anguish, if she had ignorantly ad- 
ministered some poisonous drug to her child, 
and had seen him in consequence expiring in 
agony. But how much more dreadful is it to 
see moral ruin caused by our own criminal ig- 
norance ! Who would not rather see a son or 
a daughter lie down in the grave, than see them 
sink into the wretchedness and disgrace of 
profligacy. If we would save our children then 
we must be earnest and faithful in our duty. 



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